Thrihyrne

So I haven't done this in... years, but I'm finding myself writing in small bits during my 15 minute morning break and 30 minute lunch. It seems like it was back when I was at Rosetta Stone and writing Wraeththu and Slave Breaker fanfic that I would eat my lunch in the back seat of my car (back then I had an hour) and just write and write in my composition notebooks. It feels delightfully familiar to be doing that now, though it's the third and final novella of my original Reggie/Kelp "Surprised at Nothing" set. I don't know what the ultimate plot line is going to be, but the characters already surprised me when I was at sauna last Sunday. That was when the new ideas came to me and I started writing on them Sunday afternoon. Sauna is such a gift to me on so many different levels!!

Tonight I'm going to my first group class at Oaks Park. SO EXCITED!! Not least because the class cost includes skates and you can stay afterwards for the general skate to practice your new moves. I'll definitely post how it went!

evannichols had an overarching Word for the Year last year which was 'celebrate.' He hasn't been doing that kind of representational statement for many years, but we were discussing it this morning, it being a new calendar year and all. He's focusing on finishing things, so I suggested 'closure.' And since, of course, I wanted to think about me equally, I thought about my own goals and what word would be my go-to for the year. It came pretty quickly: tenacity. I'm very, very skilled at starting over. But it's been since the first half-decade of the 00s since I've worked on my staying power. This is the year that I want to hold on to what I have: the integral presence of Evan in my life; engaging employment; staying in this residence for a year; and, most importantly, keeping thoughts of 'this is all too good to be true, the universe loves bleak irony and some horrible tragedy is right around the corner to show me how too good to be true this is' at bay, whatever that takes in as healthy an approach as I can muster.

So. TENACITY

Jury duty was nearly as uneventful yesterday as Monday, though at 3:15 or so I was finally called to go to a courtroom! We were interviewed for a while to decide which of us would be unbiased and the appropriate jurors for the case, which was going to go on for the next day, perhaps two. Now, if this had happened on Monday I would have been stoked, but Wednesday is my day off and if I had been selected, it would have meant (I think) that I'd just be in jury duty and not paid or if I was paid, that would all be fine and good, but that day off would not necessarily be rescheduled. To my immense relief I was not chosen, and was able to go and leave the courtroom. The judge thanked us and I spontaneously replied, "Thank you for inviting us to be a part of the process," which she really seemed to appreciate. Fun fact I learned from this process and the juror movie we watched yesterday morning: there are more women judges than men in the state of Oregon. ♥

My left pinkie toe still hurts a lot. I've been icing and elevating it each day when I come home. I realize this may resemble a rib injury in that it just hurts for a long while as it heals. Ah, well. I did buy an exercise ball yesterday, something I'd been intending to do for months, so I can add in that element to my toning, but I think jogging again is still a little ways off. My sister sent me some birthday money so I can try out hot yoga, which I'm very excited about. :)

Today after doing laundry I'll head out to the jeweler who has resized my rings and pay for them and wear them, then go to visit sanguinity until lunchtime or so and then have quiet time at home. Yay!!

Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't note the splendid evening we had with oh_that_jocelyn on Monday. There was yummy food and delightful conversation and gifts! I am grateful that Evan and his wife emerita are still close and that I, too, enjoy her company, very much. As Evan noted, she and I do have a lot in common: we both love cats, we love decorative stationery arts… ;)

These posts probably wouldn't be so long if I posted a bit more often. Hmmmm.
( To do and body issues )
( self care! )

I'm feeling much better this morning than I did yesterday evening. My enthusiasm and joy and gratitude hasn't diminished or anything, but I was running myself ragged unnecessarily. Sleep is important. If I'm going to get up at 5:30 each morning, I really have to go to bed before 11:30. I was going through my affirmations when I feel sound asleep! I did have another really interesting and long dream this morning to do with a prior boyfriend and now long-time friend from college. My alma mater has been showing up a lot in my dream life. I wonder what it signifies! Maybe it's my subconscious being a bit miffed that I've opted not to go to my 20th reunion, especially now that I've found out it's a choir reunion as well. Not sure.

While I'm basking in all kinds of amazing positivity (which yes, has been a long time coming!!), there are a couple of friends on my flist going through very challenging times. You are held in light and in my thoughts.

One of the major issues I've struggled with in recent years is not trusting the universe when things are going well for myself. That's when my self-sabotage has kicked in, with increasingly detrimental and disastrous results. I'm seeking out a therapist to deal with this element of my psyche in particular, but I'm also free to do my own cognitive therapy on my own. And I am doing so now, because things are beginning to go well for me. Not just in the relationship realm, though that is so far off the charts that it does (to my mind) explain in part why I've continued to do some self-sabotage, though I am keeping to the forefront of my consciousness just exactly how important it is that it not happen again.

All that to say: I had a great afternoon at my temp marketing assistant site, and am really looking forward to the quite real possibility that I'll be with them for at least two months. I do spend almost equal amounts of time getting out there and back as I'm spending working (4 hours and 4 hours, respectively) but that's fine- I have loads to keep me busy on public transport. My colleagues are intelligent and well-tempered! I'm getting to use my skill set! It's not at a call center! I'm getting paid much closer to what I'm worth! It just feels so good to be out in a work environment again and to be compensated for that. Perhaps ironically I got a call about another 1/2 time position I applied for over the weekend and I'll speak with that group this morning. I suspect the hours won't jive, but maybe it could work out. I'd love to add in another 10 hours with someone or some institution, so I'll continue to keep a finger on the pulse of jobs at Craigslist.

emansil_12 recently recommended to me a book titled Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. I'm only a few pages in as I want to really take my time and absorb what he's writing (as well as to do his guided visualizations and my own on a daily basis as part of continuing to put out messages of positivity into the world). I think this could be one of those books that I actually buy and keep as an integral part of being on my path.

I'm keeping up with the jogging, though I was a bit deflated to discover that I'm probably only burning about 100 calories a mile. Still, this is more about getting conditioning, not a weight loss endeavor. Yesterday and today it's been sunny and warm, so getting out around 7:10 p.m. (I leave work at 5:00 and get home around 6:50) is the perfect time of day for me to be exercising. I've never been a morning workout person.

Oh, and my yarn dyes arrived yesterday!! So exciting. This weekend's weather won't facilitate any projects, but perhaps next weekend.

There are a few close friends of mine who are dealing with some serious issues and difficult anniversaries; my heart goes out to you, and know that I'm holding you in light.

I went jogging yesterday! Three and a half miles, even! Planning to do the same today and through the weekend— until it next rains, even. It felt so good to get some cardio and slow down when I needed to in order to keep it at a jog. Heh. Oh, and the plasma center yesterday was a bust. After three hours I'd still not seen anyone, so I gave up and decided my time could be much better spent than hanging out in their office. Seems ridiculous that the center in Harrisonburg was so much more sophisticated. Maybe another day.

This morning I've been super-productive for whatever reason; maybe a solid night's sleep, though I was deep in the midst of a dream when my alarm went off. I was so on top of things by 7:30 a.m. after doing my laundry and hanging it outside on our impromptu clothesline (ie: the chain link fence in the backyard) that I finally took a couple of pictures of Cooper, the boxer who is so adorable, all cozied up in his favorite chair. The first is with the flash, but the second captures the ambiance better as the curtains are drawn and the room is rather dark.

( Cooper, the sweet boxer, in his habitat )

This morning I'm determined to apply to 5-7 positions (four down thus far), do laundry (done), type in the last of the Gimlific I'd been writing on prior to the holidays last year, and some other things before going to catch the bus and meet evannichols for lunch. It will continue on to be a productive afternoon as well. I'll try and post my knitting WIP, item one from my Secret Endeavor that has had its starts and stops. I'm especially excited about more dyeing once I have my own mini-set and can do it here, or at Evan's.

Happy Friday!

Probably not fair to combine all of those into one post, but so be it. I met up with my cousin Matthew for coffee and tea (tea=him, coffee=me) in the Alberta district, and it was absolutely marvelous. We're both writers, both struggling with some stuff going on in our brains that we own but can't necessarily control, and from similar (well, very similar) stock genetically. We talked about a lot of stuff and I'm hoping that we'll go for a walk around Mt. Tabor next week and that we'll keep up as the weeks go on. He's newer to this part of the country than I am, but it was just delightful to hang out with someone from my extended family who can really understand what I've been through in the past half-decade or so.

So I caught the bus back to my part of town and got off a stop too soon than I'd intended, but it allowed me to wander into Good Neighbor, the Russian market close to me that I'd been wanting to visit after realizing how close it was. I was mildly disappointed in that the staff spoke to me in English (as opposed to the other two guys in the shop). Did I look that Anglo? When I'd spent three weeks in Vladimir, USSR, I could pass for a local. But not here. I did say (in Russian) that I'd studied Russian, and the woman at the counter asked if I understood, and I said a little, and that I'd forgotten most of it. But I did say the Russian equivalent of 'see ya!' as I departed, with eggs, apple cider vinegar, and red potatoes in my bags. I really need to post on Craigslist about tutoring in English if I can get some Russian tutoring in exchange.

So I got home, put away my groceries, changed clothes, and went out running. I have a new route, and it was great, taken more at a run than a jog, as evidenced that I was home within 30 minutes. But lovely, though when I attempted to take a cool-down walk, I was being rained on, so it was a very short walk.

This evening's priorities: dinner (potatoes with some sour cream before it goes bad), knitting, talking with evannichols, some ibuprofin and using my heated rice bag on both shoulder and calves, and an early night. I applied for 5 positions this morning, and there will be more tomorrow, so I know I'm keeping up my end of the deal to the universe of seeking out what is appropriate. But I must admit that I'm so excited both to see if I can model at Hipbones studio, and then to head out to BHFT and spend the night with my beloved. Even 48 hours seems like a long time. Yes, I'm becoming a romantic and am oftentimes at a loss. ♥

Yes, I'm making up words. I'll warn again for excessive happiness, but hey: I think I've paid for this. ( the past few days )

I'm getting very close to finishing my vest! I'm only about a half inch from the specified length, then I'll do all of the bind-off and decorative edging and then all I'll need to do is block it and be done. I've decided to make an adorable baby owl cardigan for both of my stepsisters out of this yarn since I believe they're both pregnant with second children. I'll get more details and confirm that when I talk with my stepdad today, if I get him on the phone.

Also on the positive job front, I applied to a database contractor position and while I highly doubt I'll be brought in, it was great to hear from the recruiter and after we talked, she said she felt comfortable at least submitting my resume into the mix. Then I got a call from one of the Portland community centers where I'd submitted a resume and cover letter, and I have an interview with them next week! Things do seem to happen when I get really serious about looking for a job.

In essence: it's all splendiferous. :)