thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
So the time has now come- today is my final day of leave. Thankfully my re-entry will be somewhat gentle in that probably I'll do nothing but read emails and watch recorded meetings tomorrow, I'm off Wednesday, then work Thurs and Fri and off again on Saturday. I am so grateful for this time off, for the luxury of time itself not spent working for someone else, but instead to work on me. I've had some breakthroughs, joy in creative company of others, time at my altar, time struggling as I start the Sinclair Method and how that figures into my life, time knitting and writing and writing letters and on the phone and in person with friends I see only too rarely. I need not worry that I'd be bored should I retire or Evan wins the lottery. ;)

I still have a ritual I've not yet manifested, one of forgiveness for myself. I'd like to write phrases down and burn them, but an apartment complex isn't the best place for that. Perhaps a nearby campground? Not sure yet. One element of note I'm taking away from this is a keen awareness of my nervous system and how important it is going forward to soothe it with quiet, peaceful time every day. Thanks to this amazing website,, I can listen to waterfall sounds, ferryboat noises, Tibetan singing bowls, you name it. In the past I've been inclined to use my 15 minute breaks to do physical activity, which I suppose I could still do, but at least a couple times through the day I challenge myself to put on a timer for 5 full minutes to listen to soothing noise and either meditate or just lie still. I've perfected the art of distracting myself from stress and the like, but not to gift myself with soothing, gentle space not spent in front of a monitor of some kind or with any kind of goal in mind. I believe that doing this regularly will have as profound an impact as physical exercise does, and as someone with an anxiety disorder, is very nearly as important.
thrihyrne: (Boromir life is good)
As part of my planned rest days/PTO after working the holidays, I've worked out at Mod Physique every day this week. This morning when the alarm went off, I realized I was dreaming I was in class! Funny. I also had a sauna/massage combo at Loyly, red velvet cupcakes have been purchased and eaten, and yesterday during a Portland group working day hosted by Airbnb, my colleague Bubut and I were completely unexpectedly sung to by our colleagues, and we each were presented with some kind of yummy looking pies with candles. All in all, pretty cool. :) There will be further celebrations tomorrow by going on a personal tour of the Hat Museum with [personal profile] grrlpup and [personal profile] sanguinity, and later on we'll celebrate another January birthday celebrant, [personal profile] snottygrrl. Very busy week and weekend, actually— much more frenetic than somehow I had initially imagined. [ profile] evannichols has Dude Night tonight, and I in turn am going to attend my first ever free clothing swap. So many activities!

I also took my pair of cowboy boots to Shoes on the Run downtown in order to fix a hole in the sole I hadn't realized was there until last month when my mom and stepdad were visiting and I wore them to Multnomah Falls. I normally don't go downtown (certainly not in a car and when I will have to park), but Tuesday became more complicated since Evan was trying to schedule in an appointment to see his chiropractor, and I had the car. Thanks to our handy neocortexes, I was able to go work out, drop off the boots, take the car to his work, have a quick visit with Evan, be walked to the nearest bus stop, and rode the bus home.

This weekend will mark the second of my two full sat/sun weekends, truly luxurious. I'll work Monday as it's a holiday (and I'm keenly interested in being paid double, thanks all the same) but then have Tues-Thurs off once more. This week is the anti-frenetic, not-so-focused-on-being-constantly-productive rest time. There will be movies and knitting, reading, and hopefully a lot of writing. Also moving my altar so that it's not on a shelf but can be open to space. It seems claustrophobic to me right now, so with the help of a couple of paper boxes and the acquisition of Kristi-selected fabric to cover them, my sacred space can be moved from under its overhang. It's all part of a very organic process that feels true to my path right now. I find I'm at last able to get out of my own way; I know I'm not struggling against the current of where to expend my energies. I'm cultivating gratitude and it's second nature. These are welcome felicitations. :)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
I'd posted about this in other social media, but one of the completely unexpected perks about moving into my new position in Resolutions & Rebookings is that our training was scheduled for the shockingly traditional 8-5, Monday-Friday. That means that for the first time since my original training at the end of July and early August, I have 2 days together off, and they are days I can share with [ profile] evannichols!! Weekends! OMGYAY! At least a few of them, and then shortly thereafter I'll have a new schedule. I have no idea if it will resemble my prior one or not, and since my new team lead (the 3rd thus far in my 7-month tenure) was in a week-long Team Leads meeting at HQ, I haven't even begun to get to know him yet. No constant but change, as they say.

It was a productive but leisurely, very social yet cocoon-y weekend. A fulfilling amalgam of activity and lounging. I was uncommonly social in that my friend Jen from Eugene came over for lunch on Friday, then we went on a lovely walk with [personal profile] grrlpup and [personal profile] sanguinity, and then over to Evan's sister's place yesterday to hang out with them. Evan and I had a very rare lunch out, trying out an Indian restaurant buffet close by (yummy!) and doing the obligatory Portland thing of going outside on a getting-warm, sunny spring day. I even wore spring clothes! Exhibit A below the cut )

I tried calling a few folks and had really hoped to Skype with my stepdad and at least one of my stepsisters while he was up in NYC, but despite several texts back and forth, it didn't happen. Last week during my usual Wednesday off I Skyped with my mom and sister (my mom was visiting her out in Salt Lake City) which was especially poignant after my recent wonderful trip to Harrisonburg. I find myself in tears not infrequently after being on the phone with my dad or mom; my relationships with both of them are so open and easy now, and that has not been the case for much of my adult life. I am incredibly grateful for that.

And I'm up and showered and solo earlier than usual today as Evan went into work an hour earlier than the norm. I must have slept very well as I woke up with the alarm and wasn't foggy or tired at all. Woo hoo!! That's a welcome way to start my week!

I'll write more about my new promotion in the coming days. ♥
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
There are so many ways in which I feel more and more grounded these days— in recent days, it's because I came back from Harrisonburg with pretty much all of my belongings. The rug and bin that we shipped arrived yesterday, so it's all here now. In going through it, I came across two lovely and talisman-filled care packages from [ profile] rainwish that hadn't initially made their way here. Now my altar is truly gorgeous, with fabric, more stones, a Lego Gimli (not from Rainwish, but he is my symbol of strength), a polished circle of stone I'd held on to from my college roommate (perhaps even given as a birthday gift while still in school), and a paper crane from a newer friend, [ profile] ohthatjocelyn. There's also a colorful cornucopia Thevina/Kristi-centric collage created by [ profile] emansil_12 on the shelf nearby. I'll take another picture soon. It fills me with such joy to glance over at it, much less spend quiet time there in meditation, or just sitting quietly with my morning coffee, breathing in openness and breathing out anxiety, holding my loved ones in light.

And in other news: The cabled hoodie I'd knitted that never fit properly on me turns out to fit [personal profile] grrlpup like a glove! I'm thrilled that it's with her. There's still enough yarn left (or so I hope, lol) that I'm going to make this vest for myself: The back is equally gorgeous.

Today is my first official day of training as a promoted specialist in Resolutions. This really wasn't the area I'd planned to go to in my time at Airbnb, but the need was there and I believe that once I learn more of the ins and outs of basic protocol, I'll find a very happy home as a 'Resolutionary.' They deal very much in the grey area of disputes and people who are generally unhappy for a variety of reasons. While I do very much enjoy having policies and standards to use as the girders of responding to our users, I think I'll find it quite empowering now to be able to have the tools to grant refunds, take losses, educate and warn (when necessary) with a more authoritative voice so improve our ever-expanding community of users. So… let the training begin!
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
I've finally created a small altar in my living space! This makes me incredibly happy. I was out at a gemstone and minerals place this morning for a very specific reason, and instead I came home with a small piece of peacock ore, and two tumbled stones, one of Australian something, and the other I can't really remember either. But it was pretty and spoke to me.

so here 'tis! )
thrihyrne: (Oregon lover)
I'm back at Airbnb effective immediately (though I don't have my laptop; I'll retrieve it tomorrow when I'm back at our Portland office) and very grateful. I have learned a tremendous amount about my own strength during this, as well as the amazing support and love that is granted so fully to me. Thank you all for your kind words during what was a pretty challenging several days!
thrihyrne: (Boromir life is good)
I've been regularly engaging in positive visualizations and affirmations, something I've been referencing in recent posts. My affirmations tend to focus on three specific areas: my health and happiness; fulfilling work with meaningful compensation; my life with [ profile] evannichols. The visualizations range around in those areas as well, though in the past two weeks I'd found that something in particular kept cropping up: I wanted to treat myself to a maple iced doughnut. But every time I was in a grocery store, either their bakery didn't have them, or it was around 6 o'clock in the evening and I didn't think they'd be fresh. I'd even admitted to [ profile] evannichols about this desire and had decided that after I received my first paycheck for my current assignment, I'd treat myself to a bus ride down 82nd to an actual Krispy Kreme location and get a couple with coffee and write a letter or work on a story or something.

Yesterday, the universe manifested itself such that I was at the company where I have a multi-week assignment in the morning (which is unusual in and of itself due to me sharing a computer with a part-time graphics employee) when a maple doughnut (actually, a maple log!) came to me at my cubicle. I kid you not. There's a new Controller there, and he'd brought 2 boxes of doughnuts and some o.j. to a couple of meetings but hadn't had a lot of takers. So he came by the marketing suite and there it was: one lone maple iced selection of doughy goodness. Which I ate and thoroughly enjoyed.

I've now decided that with as effective a message to the Universe like that, I will take it upon myself to think much more about [ profile] evannichols winning the lottery. ♥
thrihyrne: (Boromir life is good)
    Being able to hang up my laundry in the back yard on hangers and the chain link fence. I love letting Nature dry my clothes rather than using electricity.

    An unexpectedly quiet morning as some of the household left and the other two are still asleep. I would sit and relish the lack of TV noise and visualize about amazing things and my hopes and dreams all morning, but I have things I want to get accomplished!

    Technology. I don't currently have the ability to send or receive actual texts on my phone (my choice!), but I can email texts to [ profile] evannichols. Sending him the occasional note that way makes me very happy, thinking about him reading them at BHFT and providing him with a short and welcome diversion.

    Making such headway (at last!) on my knitting secret endeavor. Sweater #1 is complete and #2 is coming along incredibly quickly. Yay!!

    Instant oatmeal. Maple and brown sugar flavor. Think I'll go make some shortly.
thrihyrne: (Oregon lover)
the downer )

the upper(s) )

Some other positives from yesterday and anticipated for today:

    I decided to buy my own dyes so that I can proceed with my yarn dyeing without being reliant on my friend. In doing a search to see if Fabric Depot had the brand he'd recommended, I came across a web page that had a set of 6 color starter set of specific acid dyes for yarns for $24.99. The yarn company pinged for me, and I remembered that my mother had given me a $25 gift certificate for a yarn company and I'd not used it yet (because $25 doesn't actually go all that far in terms of purchasing yarn for anything other than a hat/socks/scarf)... same company!! So I bought them. There was much elation.
    Later in the afternoon, I was invited to come along on a walk with [ profile] evannichols and [personal profile] sanguinity. The weather and company were delightful. There was much talk of zombies and zombie-killing devices, and martial arts. And [ profile] evannichols was only punched once!
    I scored a personal best, point-wise, playing online boggle: 49.
    I meant to get up at my usual time this morning, but was so tired I reset my alarm to get up at 7:21 so I could be at the plasma center by 8:00. I did reset it, but then closed the phone without saving it. I'll go in at 9 o'clock instead. Those who've been following me for a while will remember my grousing when trying to donate in Harrisonburg, but this place is literally 2½ blocks from the house. Before, I was stuck with a bus system that only went to the plasma center once an hour, so that was where the timesuck happened if I failed on the iron count. Here there's no problem with that, but… they don't take appointments. So the timesuck is reliant on how many other people are there in front of you. But I have not just one but two new books to read, and knitting projects out the wazoo. I'll be fine in terms of self-entertainment.
    I may just be ready to start up jogging again. I did well for several weeks, then things went south and north and south and north and I went back to the easier option: isometric exercise in the form of remembered Pilates stuff at home in my room. But some cardio would do me good.

    This got long. My dream life is also out of control, but that's par for the course. My mother had showed up so many times in my dreams that I emailed her to touch base. For now, however, I really need to get a move on!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
I don't really want to put in bullet points for this post (though I enjoyed putting in flowers earlier), so I'll just write a few things to do with the wonderfulness of recent days. On Friday I had a follow-up/second-and-final interview at the downtown company where I'd love to work. It went very well, and I was asked to stay (if I could) to shadow someone for about fifteen minutes. Good sign. I'll hear from them by the end of this coming week, so I'll have closure one way or another and I'm so glad of that. I may also have an interview at another company for a temp-to-hire position through a placement company; we'll see. When [ profile] evannichols and I arrived at his house Friday afternoon, I spent some time speaking with his sister about all of this because she's recently been offered and accepted a position at this company. When I did finally head inside, I found Evan looking a bit expectantly at me, and then I saw them: a beautiful bouquet of peach/coral roses, and a card. Not to do with my job hunt, but just because he's as smitten with me as I am with him. There might have been a bit of subtle swooning.

This weekend was restful and restorative, and also included some social time meeting [personal profile] snottygrrl to see one of the films that was part of the Studio Ghibli Film Festival held at the Portland Art Museum NW Film Center. The one we saw (My Neighbors the Yamadas) has a director other than Hayao Miyazaki; we're all Miyazaki fans and have seen many of his films on both the big and small screen. Evan and I were particularly interested in seeing at least one of these films that aren't available in a format we can rent, so that was accomplished.

I'm back over at my place now, unpacking and also preparing to repack as I'll be spending a fair amount of time at [ profile] evannichols' this coming week and weekend. He has a birthday coming up on Friday, and it's one of those memorable ones that ends in either '5' or '0'. Follow his blog to know which. ;) There will be a special-ordered (by me, even!) gluten- and dairy-free fabulous cake, and dinner, and lounging, and goodness only knows what else. Maybe online Boggle. It could happen. ;) But for this evening, I'll settle in with a small serving of Fritos and queso, some Being Human, dismantling another beautiful (and free!) sweater, and a few other things before heading to bed and hitting the ground running tomorrow morning. A quick thanks to [ profile] emansil_12 for the wonderful phone call today, and to [ profile] llembas for the letter I received when I came home.
thrihyrne: (kells illumination)
a little bit of vomiting rainbows )

To my delight I've discovered that there's a SMART Recovery meeting here in the suburb where [ profile] evannichols lives, even within walking distance, were it not raining. He kindly drove me to it yesterday morning, for which I was very grateful. Both as part of our commitment to each other, and my desire for him to have more of an understanding of what struggles I've had, I asked the group about resources for him. It turns out that he can attend the meeting if he wants! No problem. So he'll probably accompany me from time to time, which means so much to me. As part of the agenda at the end of their meetings, each person states a concrete goal for the week. I had three: jog at least three times, spend seven consecutive days really without drinking anything, and spend 15 hours job hunting. I won't be talking about this topic much at all in this medium as it really is between Evan and myself, but at this initial jumping-off point, I thought I would.

And now, back to the absolute joy of coffee, an unexpectedly non-rainy morning, and my beloved.
thrihyrne: (Boromir life is good)
I'll try to keep my 'vomiting rainbows' elements to a minimum, but there's something so wonderful about being able to have a sleepover with my beloved on a weekday, get dropped off literally next to a bus for me to catch to get home the next morning, then see him again for lunch a few hours later. And now it's on the cusp of the weekend, which means that I'll get picked up after he has fun at Dudes' Night, and we can look forward to two days together. Yesterday was particularly delightful in that I spent a couple of hours at BHFT between my lunch date with [ profile] evannichols and his leaving for the day, and in that time, two wonderful things happened: I had a completely out of the blue phone call from [ profile] heartofoshun, and then a fellow knitter approached me (I was working on my new project) and we chatted for a while about knitting and I gave her my Ravelry info. After that, Evan and I went and took a walk with [ profile] sanguinity since the weather was cooperating. Must admit that I forgot to tell her about my reaction to Cleopatra 2525. Next walk.

Today started out quite chilly and foggy, but then cleared to an absolutely gorgeous day. You all know that I do love my grey skies, but the occasional clear day is also welcome. I came home to discover that Robin, one of the matriarchs, was making oatmeal cookies with other goodies in them, and she offered one to me as I ate a grapefruit in the unconventional manner that I enjoy them. Oatmeal Scotchies go surprisingly well with grapefruit. ;)

This afternoon I've looked through my interlibrary loan book about Japanese sex clubs (a photography book, primarily) and am about to settle in to watch an episode or two of Wallander while knitting on my vest before thinking about dinner.

My heart is quite buoyant these days. :)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Boromir life is good by fifmeister)
Today is one of those rare days in which it feels as though the universe is showering me with gifts of harmony and everything falling into place. I've been almost on the verge of tears a couple of times today feeling so happy and how amazing my life is in this moment. I'm on the cusp of a sea change and I'm positively buoyant.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (squee!)
This will be a super-short post about my trip thus far (very, very heavy on the baby action, and conversations about babies, and childcare, and pregnancy, and cars, and babies, and me getting a lot of knitting done, and some writing, and more conversations about and with babies going on around me), but I had an absolutely marvelous time visiting with [ profile] heartofoshun. We met at Sweet Melissa Patisserie and hugged and squeed and talked and ate and drank coffee and talked and ate and drank coffee and talked and talked and talked. She was just as warm and expressive and articulate and enthusiastic and approachable and open as I imagined she would be. We hung out for a good three hours and I've decided that I definitely need to plan another trip up this way before I return to the west coast. It was a true gift to get to spend that much quality time one on one with her. Meeting fandom friends can be so life-affirming, especially when, to be candid, I've not felt that I have a whole lot to say to my siblings/stepsiblings/their spouses because I'm the lone divorcee with no children who isn't into babies. Or young children. So I've been knitting and hanging out in the same room, but feeling rather superfluous. But spending time with Oshun was a tremendous highlight. Right now I'm over at my brother's, and he's cooking something that smells quite delicious, and I've discovered he speaks Hindi to his son (10 month old, baby #2 for the trip), as well as English. Very interesting.

Tomorrow's speldiferous event? I'll get to visit with [ profile] brumeux77 for the… third time, I believe it is! How fortunate of a person am I?!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (aurora borealis)
It's been a while, but one jumped out at me today, and I just assumed two more would follow, and they did. The one that really caught my eye was:
Those darn accordions! [picture of an accordion]
Pro-Accordion & I vote!

This one I suspect many people on my flist own, in green print on a yellow background:
reading is sexy

And then, to round out my morning drive to the Opera:

Happy Friday to you all! Much to my great pleasure, I had a rather decent sale this morning, and unexpected at that. Which means I have another full week to ensure I make commission, and hopefully then some. On the personal front, it's been rather a week of self-awareness and change, and I feel like I'm on the cusp of some pretty profound understandings. Like the fact that I want to learn how to safely live alone, since that's what I'm drawn to. And that life's short: maybe I really should apply for this program for Audience and Fan Studies at the Cardiff School of Journalism, Media & Cultural Studies. I mean, why not?? No, I don't know what I'd do with such a degree, but I suspect I could do some teaching, some editing, keep involved in various fan communities and write some more papers. At any rate, rather a turbulent week, but I'm looking forward to some down time this weekend and maybe spending some time with [ profile] snottygrrl and/or one of my work colleagues. Two in particular are now confidantes and think I'm wonderful and said some things to me I needed to be reminded of. Such as: If I just listen to some of the truest parts of myself, and act accordingly, I'm going to be fine.

So, enough navel gazing from here. I'll do some editing and writing, too. Happy weekend! ♥

May 2016



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