thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
This. The Sinclair Method.
Graphs showing the extinction of learned brain behaviors

Opiod blockers. Available as a generic. Taken only when drinking, an hour before drinking. A drug approved by the FDA in 1994. Non-addictive.
pharmacological extinction

An actual proven chemical to change the way your brain reacts to alcohol. The Sinclair Method is used extensively as an outpatient treatment at the Contral Clinic in Finland. By 2000, they had treated tens of thousands of patients with a claimed success rate around 78%, with 25% reducing their drinking to complete abstinence with little or no craving.

And why isn't it used here in the US? Because of our inherited culture of saying that habits and addictions are moral failures, instead of learned behaviors of chemicals on our brains. Is abstinence truly the only 'success'? How about a life, truly lived? It's 2015, not 1939.

I haven't had this much hope for myself in years.
thrihyrne: (plaidtastic)
This has only happened one other time to me, while watching "Ugly Betty" and a suit I'd bought at The Limited in the spring of '92 appeared on an episode. It happened again, today! I was giving "Big Love" a try, mostly to look at Chloe Sevigny, and the second time she's on screen, she was wearing a shirt that I own!!.

A) Chloe

B) Me

Freaky. I had to show Evan too, of course. :D And it's not like it's some well-known brand, which makes it even more bizarre; I think I found mine at a T.J. Maxx in Nashville years ago. Carlie's Court is the brand on the tag. How about that, eh?
thrihyrne: (clock by licia)
I flew on Alaskan Airways from Portland to Oakland, and they had free regional wine and beer. FREE. And by choice; not coercion or guilt or threats, I had Diet Coke instead. Which, after 18 months of drinking Diet Shasta, tasted funny. But still. I didn't feel I'd deprived myself, nor that it was an earth-shattering event. It was simply my choice. In fact, in two weeks I'll hit the 6 month mark of my one year liver cleanse, my decision to really give a year of living in my own skin 24/7 for 365 days an honest go. And I must say, thus far, I've only had a couple of really 'itchy/squirrely' moments. But it's all different now: a loving life partner, employment, a determination to be in myself and to normalize alcohol. Not to demonize or even fetishize it, but for it simply to be what it is: a potent beverage. The end.

And now, to enjoy this clear blue skyed morning in SF, and to read 'Aldarion and Erendis' before going off to HQ at 8:30.
thrihyrne: (kells illumination)
    To my housemate in the room next to me:

    I'm awake early this morning as well, but I am not listening to a movie at regular volume, a movie with gunshots, loud music, and some yelling for good measure. There are things called headphones, and BEING CONSIDERATE of the fact that you live in a house with several other adults. Who are usually sleeping at this hour.

    I may often be up at 5:30 or so, but I always listen to my music and movies with headphones on. Why? Because it's CONSIDERATE.

    I will write you a note to this effect, and then let it go, knowing that there's nothing really I can do about this, but I plan in the next few months to be living in a place where I have more control over the environment.

    No gratitude,

thrihyrne: (plaidtastic)
I am in the midst of an interviewing frenzy. Beginning today, I have (had) three (and maybe four) confirmed interviews in four workdays. The maybe is for Monday. Today was a group and then one-on-one with Airbnb which could be really, really cool— especially looking longer-term in relation to things with [ profile] evannichols, living together, and maybe even looking to spend some time working overseas. Tomorrow morning is an interview with a downtown church for a half-time development assistant position. Monday- still not sure; it's for a 3-month contract position up in Vancouver, WA, so not the best, but could be interesting. But of all of the leads, probably the least likely to pan out. And today I got a call from a local classical radio station about a membership assistant position I applied for. Interview with them Tuesday morning!! Good thing that I enjoy interviewing. Yes, you read that right. I've done so much of it in recent years that I'm no longer intimidated by it and actually really enjoy going and interviewing the potential company. Lots of amazing possibilities, and I couldn't be happier about feeling so desired by different facets of the working world.

For the holiday yesterday, Evan and I went to [personal profile] sanguinity and [personal profile] grrlpup's house for a scrumptious dinner and entertaining conversation. Prior to that, I had a marvelous, low-key day with [ profile] evannichols and he assisted me in the initial mechanics of doing my own dyeing. Below the cut are pictures of the two two-color colorways I did. They are quite vivid and I'm going to wash them tomorrow to get any remaining dye out of them (they were steam-set and shouldn't bleed, but I just want to be sure) and air dry again before winding them into center-pull balls. I really will post pictures of the finished products once I have them. I got all kinds of affirmations and exclamations of how talented I am about the turquoise vest I'm knitting, so that also made me feel pretty frakking awesome. :)
yarn pics here )

So, um, things continue to be really phenomenal. But it's been a really long day, and I'm going to chill out with some online Boggle and then a documentary and then I'm off to bed. :P
thrihyrne: (Boromir life is good)
I've been regularly engaging in positive visualizations and affirmations, something I've been referencing in recent posts. My affirmations tend to focus on three specific areas: my health and happiness; fulfilling work with meaningful compensation; my life with [ profile] evannichols. The visualizations range around in those areas as well, though in the past two weeks I'd found that something in particular kept cropping up: I wanted to treat myself to a maple iced doughnut. But every time I was in a grocery store, either their bakery didn't have them, or it was around 6 o'clock in the evening and I didn't think they'd be fresh. I'd even admitted to [ profile] evannichols about this desire and had decided that after I received my first paycheck for my current assignment, I'd treat myself to a bus ride down 82nd to an actual Krispy Kreme location and get a couple with coffee and write a letter or work on a story or something.

Yesterday, the universe manifested itself such that I was at the company where I have a multi-week assignment in the morning (which is unusual in and of itself due to me sharing a computer with a part-time graphics employee) when a maple doughnut (actually, a maple log!) came to me at my cubicle. I kid you not. There's a new Controller there, and he'd brought 2 boxes of doughnuts and some o.j. to a couple of meetings but hadn't had a lot of takers. So he came by the marketing suite and there it was: one lone maple iced selection of doughy goodness. Which I ate and thoroughly enjoyed.

I've now decided that with as effective a message to the Universe like that, I will take it upon myself to think much more about [ profile] evannichols winning the lottery. ♥
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
Here be an update )

Oh, and in an unrelated element, I'd received an email from former roommate Julia's phone carrier as though I was going to pay it. I called customer service and was reassured that I'd not hear from them again. Well, I got another email from them referencing her phone account! I just deleted it. Not my problem and certainly not my phone. :P
thrihyrne: (plaidtastic)
I don't often write about my own cooking. I've tended to joke about my eating habits, but the truth is that I eat quite healthfully, and even with some variety. Tonight I made something absolutely scrumptious after a Trader Joe's trip. I'd had a stir fry in mind, and I put in some frozen breaded chicken pieces (that had an orange ginger sauce in the bag, but I'll save the sauce), tofu, zucchini, and once I thought the chicken was mostly cooked, I put in about half of a small jar of a Trader Joe's Thai green curry simmering sauce. OMG! So, so yummy!! And easy to make.

I bought a crappy backpack for $5 at a drug store when I first was with Jen in Eugene. Well, it's falling apart. After much research, I turned to eBay and have ended up with a lovely, supposedly previously used plaid Jansport backpack for $5.99 and some shipping. The people selling it live in West Linn, OR, about 15 miles to the south of me, and when I asked, they agreed to knock a couple of bucks off the shipping. So now I have a backpack that's cloth with a sturdy bottom and I don't think the zipper pulls will be coming off anytime soon. Yay!

On the bus ride home, I happened to sit next to a young woman typing away on her little computer pad thingie (looked like it should have been a reading thing like a Kindle, but she was typing on it). I couldn't resist looking at what she was writing and was stunned to see the title: "How to Date A Millionaire." She was writing different numbered things to do, presumably. I had to really shake my head at that. Wonder who she thinks her future market might be…

And I seem to somehow have injured or pulled a muscle going up the right front of my foot to my shin, definitely hurting worse when I lift my fourth and pinkie toes than my big toe. I cannot for the life of me figure out how on earth I hurt that muscle. Hopefully it'll be less sore tomorrow.

To all those who have sent holiday cards, thank you so much! I'll be sending out something more in the depths of above-the-equator winter, I suspect. Oh, and The Hobbit trailer! I finally get a film CHOCK FULL OF DWARVES. HEAVEN. I'M SO HAPPY!!!! :D :D :D :D :D
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (bsg weed by splodge)
I was washing dishes just now, reflecting on what's happened the past two days, especially yesterday. The cord on my headphone cord on my arm did undulate a bit, though faintly. The spoon did actually move a few centimeters out of the cookie package. This makes me realize that *I* was doing that, albeit I didn't intend to. So I must have some tiny smidgen of telekenesis. And if I do, that means all human beings do. This doesn't really surprise me- I suspect that we could be more telekenetic if we knew how to tap into our brains in the right way to do it. But… pretty neat! However, from now on, I'm simply going to learn to get enough sleep. :P


I'm about to do a bunch of cleaning to help get the house ready for Julia's birthday party tomorrow. Should be fun. For now, I'm putting on sweats, putting 4 CDs in the changer on shuffle, and cleaning.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (enigmatic)
So last night I was standing and glanced at what turned out to be a blanket, but at that initial glance it appeared to have a head and I nearly shit myself. Then later I was watching a movie and kept glancing over to the right and could have sworn a woman was implied in the far corner. This happened several times. It got more malevolent (I've felt a malevolency in the room and Julia and I saged it to clear it out) when I was typing later and something tan seemed to jump right next to me— again, totally startled, but then kept typing. It happened again. Then later I continued typing and a faint finger poked my ass which was on the edge of the chair. At that point, I went upstairs and slept with Julia in her bed.

This morning I sat closer in on my chair when I felt two fingers tap (2nd finger, 3rd finger, 2nd, 3rd) on the cushion behind me. I freaked. And more so when I ignored the tap and out of the corner of my eye saw something orange-ish wrapping lightning-fast toward my stomach. I told Julia about it, but she really didn't believe me. Hallucinations can indeed be a symptom of alcohol detox, after all, and I've had 4 1/2 hours of sleep. She said to ignore it.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and while walking to the bus, I thought, "How do you deal with fear? You embrace it." So I made my plans on the bus and actually realized I was pissed off, and would go into the middle of my room and tell it to "fucking go somewhere else." While at my appointment both my physician and the mental health person who was called to see me after I told them about it clearly felt it was a hallucination.

Well… by the time I got home later today I, too, was convinced it was a hallucination and told my brain to do something better. By then I'd been sober 84 hours and there's no way I'm still detoxing. Well, I got my fabulous high-speed internet and later sat down with some celebratory cookie dough to eat with a spoon. It moved the spoon a little bit, as well as part of the wrapper. The thing is still here. It made little creeping motions on my cardigan and jeans, and a kind of light buzzing on my skin, though that's not a superb description. The cord to my headphones seems to be a particularly fun thing for it to play with, though it doesn't make big motions, just small ones. But it also is making the lamp cord move a little bit, and the psychological part caught me a couple times when I turned to look at the blanket and when my blinds caught my eye. And it can change the temperature— unfortunately, to cold. I breathed hotly at it and have spent a goodly amount of time telling it to go the fuck away because it's annoying. But I'm not frightened anymore; I'm kind of fascinated, in a way. I washed dishes in the kitchen and it made faint cat noises when there were none. I checked several times, trust me. And now I've discovered it can make Sam the cat's purring sound, which I find offensive. It's imitating him! I mean, the sound was loud enough that I looked immediately at my bed and expected to find him there, but the bed was empty.

Any advice as how to eradicate this tee-tiny… entity? singularity? I'm going to do some online research. I'm ANNOYED. Especially since Julia just came home and she can't hear it nor see the cord movements. She says she only has good energy around her- I suppose implying that I have other. :P Or maybe I'm just sensitive.

Where's a Ghostbusters icon when you need it?! I do think it's kind of funny that it's gently kneading the floor by my feet and purring like a cat. Maybe I have an otherworldly crushee that wants to be a cat. :)

edit: it (Imp, perhaps?) has now come up to the chair- first to my left side, and I literally shooed it. Stan's not around, so I'm doing to see if it tries to knead my lap. This is so bizarre.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (the 'burg)
Normally I never post this often in a day, but an LJ friend asked about this earthquake whose origin was about an hour or so away from me to the SE. I was here at the house on the computer when the house shook for 30 seconds or so and I did have a bit of a freak out at the time, but when I went downstairs to ask my stepdad if he'd noticed that major rumbling (at first I thought maybe our large attic fan had dislodged out of the window or something) and he said he hadn't noticed anything. But it must have been this earthquake. I've been in a couple of tornadoes, but this was new! The 'burg seems to be just fine, though; I was just at the downtown library and we seem not to have suffered much damage. Doubtless it will be the news topic for tomorrow's paper, though.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (brain chaparral)
Yesterday: a woman jogging (at a slow pace, granted) and chatting on her phone.

I guess I'd thought there were still a few things that a person would do which wouldn't involve talking or texting on the phone, and jogging was one of them. Apparently not.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Tilda by fileg)
Last night I dreamed that I was on stage doing a short scene with… Tilda Swinton. :::massive swoon::: And what happened? I completely forgot every one of my lines and our scene was entirely improved. She was very gracious about it. I was mortified.

I have an updated picture of my skirt in progress, below the cut )

There's a new yarn store opening in the downtown, and it just so happens that they're having an open house today from 5:00-8:00. You'd better believe I'm going, not just to see what they're selling, but also to offer myself up as a potential employee! Why not? I've been knitting for eighteen years, taught some people, and I could teach classes if they want, on a commission basis or whatever. Even if I helped out 8 hours or so a week, that would be so very cool. I'll keep you posted.

Lastly, as a preparation for applying to grad school to get an MLIS, but one program is a dual MLIS/MA in computer science, I thought about auditing a beginning level computer science class at JMU. I'd thought I could audit for free since I'm a part-time employee, but it turns out that you have to be full time. As part-time, I can choose to pay for the class and then audit it. Um, no. But the professor, who just happens to be a friend of my mom and stepdad's, has let my mom know he'd be happy for me to sit in and he'll pretend that I'm not there. :D So I'm going to take a beginning algorithm course, the first time I've been back in a conventional classroom since spring of 1992. Also eighteen years ago. Egads. Actually, no, that's not true. I had the privilege of sitting in on three of [ profile] eldritchhobbit's courses in 2004 and 2005. I'll keep you posted on this new endeavor as well!

Happy weekend to you all!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (knitting cable lover by me)
I've finished the cardigan for [ profile] persephone100, modeled below. I just need to buy buttons for it, as well as for the striped cardigan that I finished for myself several weeks ago. I also have started on the knitted skirt, also below the cut )

The other thing that met my eyes this morning is this:

My mom spilled an entire mug of coffee in her laptop a couple of days ago. It was a rough day, to be sure. But once it all dried out, turns out it worked— but the keyboard was a stuck mess, even though she drinks her coffee black. She demanded strongly requested that my stepdad take it apart and clean it while she's on her last summer trip up in Maine. Gamely he's at it, and this was how it looked minus the board part that he was cleaning. Now he's reassembling and there are a few of the little pads that go under the keys that have gone missing, so instead of it being a "fun" project, now it's about to get really damn frustrating. I don't envy him in his task. I'm also especially grateful for my desktop this morning!

Happy Friday, all!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (love knits)
No, the topics aren't really related (though I do knit when I watch PR on my computer).
Read more... )

Yay for knitting!

The thought about Project Runway is that I was watching the show that's the third from the last, I believe. They let two people compete for the 3rd spot, and Tim Gunn went to visit all of the finalists, meet their family and/or significant others, see their collections in progress, that stuff. SPOILERS if you've not seen episode 13 So the one who won the 3rd spot to go to Bryant Park (Mila Hermanovski) is someone whose personality I didn't like at first, but seeing her in her environment, introducing Tim to her boyfriend and parents and that she's 40 with a chance to move beyond costume design to her life's dream of being a clothing designer— it was really moving. It took me until last night to be struck by why that was. I'm 40. We're the same age! That seems impossible in many ways, but my passport and birth certificate indicate otherwise. She just seems so much more savvy, more self-aware than I could hope to be. But perhaps with these lifestyle moderations and the new meds will free me to do that. It's a thought! So now to watch episode 14 and knit some more on the cardigan. :)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (slave to the muse)
I just uploaded "A Place Like Tomorrow" over at The Quidditch Pitch. In looking at the stories with the highest hits on them, I was stunned to discover that it's my nonfiction paper on Harry Potter crossovers which, by far, has been looked at the most, with (unless somehow the count is off, but this is what it says!) a read count of 5404. I'm really, really surprised by that.

So then I got curious. Now some stories I've had there for years, others are new, but I was interested in the others in the top five of read counts. They are:
2) Fling Wide the Whirlwind (Ron/Harry)- 2208
3) Crown of Rope (Ron/Draco)- 1345
4) Dabbling in Harry's Desires (Harry/Ron/Justin Finch-Fletchley)(??!)- 683
5) Eternal Summer Gilds Them Yet (Ron/Harry)- 654

I think this does show that the archive's readership has become less slash-oriented over time. It's also an archive that is age monitored, so my adult stories aren't available to just anybody, while the crossover paper is, as well as Eternal Summer Gilds Them Yet. But those statistics were intriguing. So of course I went over to skyehawke just to see what the top five hits are over there- and a hit doesn't mean the person actually read the whole thing, but hey. Curiosity and all that.

1) Fling Wide the Whirlwind (Ron/Harry)- 2364
2) Never Break the Chain (Ron/Harry)- 2199
3) Like Wine Through Water (Ron/Draco)- 1962
4) A Private Oratory (Harry/Draco; yes, you read that right; it's the only H/D I have)- 1845
5) Magic Immunity (Ron/Draco)- 1647

And the fewest hits in my HP selections (not including what I posted today)- well, they're the newer ones. Of things that have been around, it's All Is Hallowed, my very first HP story. LOLOLOL. Songfic. Perhaps if I took that out of the description...

According to sitemeter, which I have at my website, pretty consistently the top three entry pages for people coming to my website are my adult HP page, the general HP page, and the front page. Not a lot of people searching for Wraeththu (sigh), though some use my Tolkien rec page as a jump-off point, and somebody recently was at my Swordspoint drabbles page, which is nice.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (enigmatic)
Since my flist knows all: especially you with children, do you know how to get chewing gum off of clothes? Does peanut butter work, or is that just for hair? Should I freeze them and just scrape off as much as a I can before washing them?
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (The Stranglers-Aural Sculpture)
I'm hooked. I admit it; I became a fan of doing laundry in 7th grade solely because my mom said I could watch MTV if -- and only if -- I was folding laundry. Some of these literal remakes are genius and show just how awful some of the original videos were. This one, of Billy Idol's White Wedding, I have to embed. In fall of '83, I was the last one in my household to go to school. My sister and brother went off, and my mom went off to grad school. Once I had the house to myself, I would illicitly turn on MTV and then call my then-best friend, Kelly Killingsworth, with whom I shared a birthday, when this video came on.

Yes, it's Thev trivia. And the literal remakes are glorious camp. Any others born around 1970 or thereabouts... welcome to parodies of our early adolescence.

May 2016



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