Thrihyrne

So much has fallen into place since the darkness of mid-November, as well as me aggressively taking steps to ensure my long-term emotional and psychological health. One of the best things that happened recently is discovering that contrary to how I understood it, I'm not limited to 6 visits with my current psychiatrist— I can continue seeing her until my medications are all sorted out. It does mean that at some point I will need to find someone else, but it doesn't have to be at the front of the list right now. And she does what I want this person to do: work with me in support of the Sinclair Method as well as finding an effective anti-anxiety medication. She's starting me out on Effexor which has a lot going for it: it's an SNRI (which I haven't tried before- the SSRIs I've tried in the past did nothing) and it supposedly has a side benefit of counter-acting some menopausal symptoms. SCORE!! I'm in this for the long haul, so I'm going to start a kind of mood journal as I've done in the past to be able to see patterns and any new effects over weeks and months. It's all very positive.

This past Friday Evan and I went to the Airbnb holiday party and I had a successful, fun time. That's also a huge win for me. Appropriate amounts of alcohol were had, we stayed only as long as we wanted (and took our leave as the general volume in each room was becoming more than I could tolerate), and I was fully present for getting to see many friends and colleagues who'd come in from their 'remote' locations to join the festivities. This trend going to events and having a good time without being sloppy is one I'm very happy about.

I have a lot of reading and then beta'ing upcoming, plus finishing DotW. My totally manageable goal is to have the first rough draft done by the end of my week off around New Year's. At that point I'll reach out to a couple of people to read it and give just general feedback. Then I can decide whether or not to do more of an overhaul or to send it to a particular literary agent. Once that happens, I can think about writing the third and final novella with Reggie and Kelp, I suppose!

I'm keeping this one close to my chest, but I wanted to share in a vague way. evannichols' sister and I chatted about various knitting things this past weekend after I tried the baby cardigan I'm knitting on her daughter— with the needle size I used, it actually fits a nearly-four-year-old. !lack of gauge fail. Anyway, a seed was planted about a pursuit in which I could engage and thanks to a visit to one of my favorite places yesterday (with Evan in tow, brave man that he is), I'm getting pretty excited about this particular endeavor. I won't be so coy as all that: it involves knitting and in all likelihood (certainly on the front end) for the infant to age 5 or 6 market. It will involve me designing for only about the second or third time in my 20 year knitting career, as well as reviving my dormant Etsy shop. But it could be really, really cool. With the particulars of this project and creative marketing that's already come to mind, inner SE Portland in specific could be just the place to start out as a potentially rewarding testing ground.

Heeeeeeee! :D May as well be pursuing something as a potential income, whether supplemental or primary, while sending out loads of applications, interviewing and waiting to get closure one way or another for non-self-employment.

I've never been one for resolutions, but as I've been busily productive around the house and online this morning, I realized that I do have a few goals, which I'll share.

‡ Get bodywork done on Bianca, my white Subaru, so that I'm not constantly reminded of the really poor choices I made last year around this time.

‡ Apply for a writer position at Rosetta Stone.

‡ Work on my original fic ideas in earnest this spring and see if I can discipline myself as much in that realm as I've tended to in the fanfic world.

‡ Travel to the UK and Ireland, California, and Australia to see friends. In the case of Ireland, visit a country I've wanted to since I was a child. If anyone has recommendations of where to go and what to see, I'd be more than welcome to hear your suggestions. I'll probably be heading over in September or October.

The biggie?
‡ To relax more, and be more of a human being, rather than a human doing. I think in some ways with my new living situation that's already happening, but I could stand not to judge myself on a constant and high quality stream of production, whether fiction or knitting projects or letters or whatever else. In less than 100 years, everything that I've put out into the world will have met its end and crumbled/become moth-eaten/vanished, as will I. Not a bad idea to savor the moments and indulge in reading and maybe even just being at rest instead of constantly feeling I must be pursuing something. Easier said than done, of course, especially since I'll be definitively without any recreational beverages for these next few months, which means my mind is never, ever off.

I hope that you all continue to stay around in 2008, a year in which I hope for far more calm, and self-actualization, less anxiety and a marrow-deep sense of peace. Thank you for hanging out in my virtual home here, for reading my stories, for letting me know when something I've posted about has affected you, and for your supportive affection and companionship.