Bummed out

Oct. 10th, 2018 12:00 pm
thrihyrne: (asian text)
I'm trying very hard not to do a large 'fuck you' to the Universe right now, as I'd gone so far in the interviewing/vetting process with a company I really thought wanted to bring me on, Squarespace. They declined my candidacy today after 5 process steps, and I admit to being more than a little heartbroken. I loved their office culture, their office location, and the thought of being able to learn so much about their beautiful website templates. *sigh* That it's so soon in my time being alcohol-free feels like a giant metaphorical carrot had been dangled in front of me, only to be yanked away and a big, "PSYCH!" yelled at me to challenge me in my earliest days of recovery fueled by Antabuse. On the plus side, Evan and I had a conversation last night and since I am committed to being alcohol free and staying on Antabuse, even if I have to order the fucking pills from India, instead of finding yet another place to hang out for a few months until I returned to the apartment, I'll be returning home next weekend. Having that stress resolved has made this disappointment much easier to put into perspective. Which is, "Squarespace's loss, someone else's gain." I'm not in desperate financial straits, and I have a skill set that someone else will need a drool cup to handle. It's just disappointing.
thrihyrne: (K is for Kristi)
While it took until the next to last day at the beach as part of Evan's-family-vacation to realize that much of my continued feelings of awkward/trapped/frustration had to do with prior events not associated with this trip (but there were plenty of similar enough things that triggered the memories), much of the time there was pleasant enough. One key issue was that I'd built up the idea of a quiet, productive escape for months when there was no way that was ever going to happen with 4 households people including small children and a baby. I think I must have been willfully ignoring that aspect when getting it in my head that it would be a focused writing time.

So that's now going to be my focus for August. I'm sort of between knitting projects, and it will be a positive challenge for me to really set specific writing goals for myself for this month. Especially since I do have a story due to be posted at the end of it!

That's about all I have to report. My shoulder and hip still hurt like hell though I do my exercises and continue to do some of my short work-out DVDs at home; the 2 lateral positions I'd applied for at work, one I didn't get (but they let me know they hope to keep adding to their team and if so, for me please to apply again) and the other one is still hanging out there. I'll be fine no matter what; I'm comfortable for the most part in my Resolutions role, and as noted, these other two specializations are lateral positions, so I really have no idea if/when I'll get a raise. Which is a bummer, especially when I do keep appearing at the top of productivity and high satisfaction scores. I did talk with my team lead quite candidly about that prior to my PTO, but who knows.

August (my least favorite month here as it's usually relentlessly sunny, and that after a month of July being relentlessly sunny) is my time to cocoon, to write, to experiment with a more protein-rich diet, and that's probably enough. I'm likely to be whiny this month, but at least I'm self-aware enough of that. And given how rude people are in talking at full voice late at night and early in the morning, it's probably for the best that I'm not armed. Even with a super soaker. :P
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
It's been a challenging couple of weeks. Work continues to be a variety of things, including disheartening and perhaps a short-term environment for me after all. More details in a day or so in a non-public environment, just in case.

But! In very exciting news! Under the cut is a new and up-to-date photo of yours truly with my new haircut and haircolor, for however long it lasts. Will be fun for Steamcon. Speaking of that, I'm actually sewing again, for the first time since 1988 on a sewing machine other than my own.
see here! )

I don't know if anyone else on my flist has made anything from a Folkwear pattern. My assembly is further along than in the picture; I can almost try them on. I'll be sporting them at Steamcon, though I'm not sure with what.

If you'd like to see the other pictures in the set that [livejournal.com profile] evannichols took during a mini photo shoot from the 17th, they are here.

I hope you all are well! Sorry so quiet on my end. Sorting through things.
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
short summary of last week )

the talisman )

other stuff )

I'll leave this rambling post with a quote from a book I finished yesterday: "True nobility isn't about being better than anyone else; it's about being better than you used to be."
~Wayne Dyer

January 2023

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