Thrihyrne

So I woke up this morning around 4:00 and was thinking about my Wraeththu story for Storm's next compilation. One of those times in which I saw the dialogue in my head, saw the characters doing their thing— which lets me know it's probably worth writing down. I've been typing in the final scenes of Defender of the Way, my first and only truly original work, and I love it. I love the Abbey where Ilthanon lives, I love his khorite brothers, I love the animals and the pain and their sexuality. I want their world to be as believable and rich as Maculategiraffe's "Slave Breakers." Because I lived that world that she created. I felt so privileged to write in it and have her permission to do so.

Just feeling particularly happy and grateful this morning. November is a good month for me. I get extra time off, and have a lot of writing and knitting projects in my personal queue.

I don't want to denigrate my Kelp/Reggie world, of course; that one is just as real, and frankly, more well-formed than some of DotW. I'm really looking forward to the third story in the series, set over in England, in which Kelp is truly out of his element. I suppose this is just showing that my creativity isn't dead, and that's a very happy thing.

So the 80s music: Joe Jackson's "Stepping Out," which led me to Rod Stewart's "Young Turks." I could be at Sewanee this weekend for the anniversary of us performing Godspell, in which I as a very young freshman played the role of Jesus, but I'm not there. I've already warned Evan that I will be singing through the entire musical today— but I can shut my door. ;)

Also, I'm obsessed with perimenopause, and that I can't easily find out whether or not I'm going through it. I've reached out to my primary caregiver, and am hoping she can shed light, but who knows. :P

While it took until the next to last day at the beach as part of Evan's-family-vacation to realize that much of my continued feelings of awkward/trapped/frustration had to do with prior events not associated with this trip (but there were plenty of similar enough things that triggered the memories), much of the time there was pleasant enough. One key issue was that I'd built up the idea of a quiet, productive escape for months when there was no way that was ever going to happen with 4 households people including small children and a baby. I think I must have been willfully ignoring that aspect when getting it in my head that it would be a focused writing time.

So that's now going to be my focus for August. I'm sort of between knitting projects, and it will be a positive challenge for me to really set specific writing goals for myself for this month. Especially since I do have a story due to be posted at the end of it!

That's about all I have to report. My shoulder and hip still hurt like hell though I do my exercises and continue to do some of my short work-out DVDs at home; the 2 lateral positions I'd applied for at work, one I didn't get (but they let me know they hope to keep adding to their team and if so, for me please to apply again) and the other one is still hanging out there. I'll be fine no matter what; I'm comfortable for the most part in my Resolutions role, and as noted, these other two specializations are lateral positions, so I really have no idea if/when I'll get a raise. Which is a bummer, especially when I do keep appearing at the top of productivity and high satisfaction scores. I did talk with my team lead quite candidly about that prior to my PTO, but who knows.

August (my least favorite month here as it's usually relentlessly sunny, and that after a month of July being relentlessly sunny) is my time to cocoon, to write, to experiment with a more protein-rich diet, and that's probably enough. I'm likely to be whiny this month, but at least I'm self-aware enough of that. And given how rude people are in talking at full voice late at night and early in the morning, it's probably for the best that I'm not armed. Even with a super soaker. :P