I'm stunned in R/D fashion. "A Place Like Tomorrow," part one

[thrihyrne]

There were lots of great fics written for rd_challenge. And to my exceeding shock (especially since it was long), well, I seem to have won the angst category.



Unbelievable.
Guess I'll post it now, here. It's longish, so it'll probably be a few posts.

Title: A Place Like Tomorrow
Rating: NC-17
Assigned Genre: Angst
Prompt: "I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile.
How you try to fit in but you can't.
How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
- Girl Interrupted
Word Count: 20,740
Pairings (other than R/D): N/A
Summary: Sanity is a very thin tightrope; Ron only discovers this once he's taken several steps.
Author Notes: My immense gratitude to callumjames and wolfiekins for their betas and insights. Bill's condition in this is AU in that he does change into a wolf at the full moon.


"Nnnnngh. Ow," Ron groaned as he drifted into consciousness against his will. It took concentration to force his crusty eyelids open. The exertion of focussing made the throbbing of his forehead even worse.

"Fucking Seamus," he mumbled, easing an arm up over his eyes. "Shouldna kept pouring me those damn shots."

He moved his arm, looking around blearily, thereby establishing that he'd not made it to the bedroom; he'd spent the night on the couch. His usual night time companion wouldn't have missed him as he was out of town at a business meeting. That was the only reason Ron had decided to go out and get totally shit-faced in the first place, because Draco wouldn't be there to complain, harangue, or generally give him grief the next day. He wasn't gone all that often, so the percentage of mornings Ron woke up hung over had decreased dramatically from when he had been living alone. It also meant Ron couldn't ask Draco to find the hangover potion, so he'd have to get up and go searching for it. That, or find his wand and hope that even performing something as basic as an Accio spell didn't burst a blood vessel or cause the dwarves banging away in his head to pick up their pace. He decided it was worth the risk.

Half an hour later he felt vastly improved. The hangover potion, brewed by Draco and sublimely effective, had worked its magic. He'd taken a hot shower, and was thinking about cooking a nice greasy breakfast.

"Ron? Ron!" he heard coming from the next room. It was Harry's voice, so Ron knew he was firecalling him. He loped into the living room where, sure enough, Harry's voice came faintly from the burned out embers of the last fire he'd had going.

"Just a mo!" Ron called, pulling out his wand and casting an Incendio. Once the flames leaped brightly, Harry's face clearly hovered in the fireplace.

"Hey, Ron," Harry said cheerfully. "How're you feeling?"

"Mostly recovered. On the hungry side."

"Well, you were completely trolleyed last night."

"I know, I know," Ron groused. Something loomed suddenly out of the corner of his eye and he jerked his head to the side. All he saw was a clock on the shelf that had been there since Ron had moved in. Swearing under his breath about seeing things, he looked back at Harry, who gave him a queer look.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Just thought I saw something. It was just the clock. So what's on for today?"

"Not much. Thought I might take James to London Zoo. You want to see if Percy will let you have Xavier for part of the day and join us? Looks like the weather'll be brilliant."

Ron pondered the opportunity. "Sure! I'll owl him and firecall you back."

"Thanks! When does Draco get back?"

"Late this afternoon."

Happiness flared in his chest; he and Draco had only been living together for ten months or so, but their often-tempestuous relationship had been going on for over two years. For all his good-humoured bitching about his imperious lover, Ron's affection for him pulsed with the same heated constancy as his own heartbeat.

"Where'd he go this time?"

"Nowhere that he'd bring back a gift for James, at least not one that's appropriate for a three year old. The goblins sent him to Amsterdam."

Harry's mouth, lit an odd orange colour thanks to the fire, quirked to the side. "You never know. Draco's not how I thought he'd be all grown up. Well, I'll quit yammering and go look for more coffee. Firecall me after you get in touch with Percy, right?"

"Okay."

Ron got up, his knees creaking. He needed some more coffee as well. Once again, he jerked his head toward the counter. A face seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, looking at him.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, his pulse racing. "Stupid bloody clock. Quit looking at me!"

Irritated with himself, and deciding he was jumpy because he was alone in the house, he turned on the wireless to a station that occasionally played decent songs. He walked into the small study and found a quill of Draco's with an uncracked nib and scrawled a quick note to Percy about taking his son to the zoo. After rolling up the parchment with a bit of twine, he went back to the kitchen and opened a window near the sink.

"Oy! Pig! C'mere!" he shouted toward the small roost where Draco's and his owls took up residence. The animated bird came swooping to him, chittering and nipping playfully at his shaggy hair. "Hey, stop that," he grumbled with a smile, putting out his elbow for the owl to hop down and perch on him. "Take this to Percy. He should reply right away, so come right back."

The note tied securely, he raised his arm and with a cheery hoot, the owl flew off. Ron had just finished his second cup of coffee, grumbling over the Cannons' most recent disaster on the pitch, when Pigwidgeon returned.

I'll bring Xavier over in a half hour, Percy's tidy reply read. Nice day for it— I assume you're going with Harry and James. Thanks for offering. See you shortly. —P

"Thanks, Pig," Ron said, scratching the owl's downy head. "Let me get you a treat then you can do whatever it is you do all day with Gabriel."

He rooted around the owl treats tin, Pigwidgeon hooting excitedly. "You're in luck! There're two left." He offered the treats on his open palm. "Guess I need to put that on a shopping list."

After a hasty affirmative firecall back to Harry, Ron shooed his owl back out through the door to their back deck. The air was crisp, bright and tart with autumn. Overhead the interwoven clouds were unravelling to reveal a hard blue sky behind them. He took a deep breath, pressing his hands down into his jeans pockets as his lungs filled with air warmed by the sun. It really did look to be a beautiful day, weather wise. A dark movement out of the corner of his eye instinctively caused him to pivot on his foot, his arm lashing out rather uselessly since his wand was inside on the dining room table. Once again, there was nothing there; his peripheral vision seemed to have been taken over by phantom images, and it was beginning to piss him off.

"I'm never having that fucking vodka again!" he swore, wishing his heart would slow down from its rushed thumping. It was definitely for the best that Draco wasn't around. Merlin knew he'd have no shortage of things to say about Ron's hangover-induced phantasms lurking off in the edges of unsight. Still grumbling under his breath, he went back into the house and turned up the wireless. He walked to their bathroom to pull his hair back into a ponytail.

A commanding, young voice yelling, "Uncle Ron! Where are you?" drew Ron away from the unrewarding task of picking at a blemish he'd noticed on his jaw.

"Coming, Xave!"

Percy and Xavier were in the living room, dusting ash off of their clothes. Percy's expression was an amusing mix of grateful and pained. Ron was certain he didn't mind the unexpected free time from parenting, but a long time ago he'd made his thoughts about Ron's sexuality very clear. His discomfort was palpable, though he obviously continued to feel the need to pretend he had no issue with Ron living with another Wizard.

"Arrrrrrrrrrr, c'mere you wiggle worm!" Ron said gleefully, tickling his nephew as he laughed and squirmed on the floor. "I'll just side-along him back to your place in a few hours, if that suits?"

Percy nodded, rubbing at the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "Fine, fine." His gaze flitted about, a furrow marring his forehead. "Where's Malfoy?"

"Business trip. Amsterdam." Ron swung Xavier around one more time before planting his feet firmly on the plush carpet. "Back early evening. We should get him something from the zoo, shouldn't we?" he asked Xavier who nodded his head with such enthusiasm his auburn hair fell even more into his eyes.

"A dragon!" Xavier squealed triumphantly, before his face fell. "I want to see Uncle Charlie's dragons, but daddy says it's too far, and too dangerous," he pouted.

"It is too far and too dangerous," Ron affirmed, standing straight and taking his nephew's hand. Percy gave him a relieved wisp of a smile. "At least for now. Maybe when you're older."

"Xavier, give daddy a hug. Please behave, and don't forget this is a Muggle zoo. The signs won't move, and the animals are in cages. Big cages, and you'll be safe, but—"

"Don't worry," Ron interrupted, earning a scowl. "Just be yourself. It'll be you and me and Harry and James. We'll have a grand time. See you after, Percy."

"All right."

Percy half-knelt to give his son a hug, then stood up, eyeing the mantle for Floo powder. He took a handful, threw it into the fireplace and said clearly, "Larchdown," vanishing in a puff of green flame.

"Well!" Ron enthused. "Let's go! The animals are waiting."

Xavier's face brimmed with excitement, and he gripped Ron's hand. "Will Harry talk to the snakes again?"

Ron took a hasty evaluative look around the room, making sure he'd not left anything on or alight, and aimed his wand at the doors to lock them.

"Only if we're lucky," he said with a wink.

* * * * *

There was only one thing missing to make Ron's tableau as close to perfect as he knew. His third bottle of Lagerhead Ale was in his hand, the newest copy of Broom Enthusiast was in his lap, the fire crackled cheerily, and even their crotchety cat Pandemonium was curled up in a warm ball at Ron's side. All he needed was for his lover to get his skinny arse back from his trip.

As if on cue, Ron heard the front door open and watched as Pandemonium, suddenly alert, unfurled from her spot on the couch and went running to Draco.

"Welcome back!" Ron called out as he shut his magazine and stood up. Draco's distinctive figure walked into the living room, still attired in dress robes, his black leather briefcase in hand. Pandemonium meowed at him, batting at his trousers leg.

"Glad to be home."

Ron let Draco place the briefcase near the couch before enfolding him in a hug. He pulled back just far enough to kiss Draco firmly on the mouth, nipping at his bottom lip. "Are you hungry?"

"No. I had a filling supper before I portkeyed back to Gringott's. I'd love a drink, though." He placed a soft, answering kiss on Ron's lips and then stepped back, unbuttoning the top two buttons on his dress robes.

"I got you something new— seemed like something you'd fancy," Ron said hopefully, heading to the kitchen and returning with a glass and a bottle of viscous clear liquid with flakes of gold in it.

"What on Merlin's green earth is that?" Draco asked, looking sceptical.

"It's some Muggle liqueur, cinnamon flavoured. The chap at the bottle shop said it was good stuff. Smooth. I got it because of the bits of gold. They're digestible," he quickly added, unscrewing the top.

"I'd hope so!" Draco exclaimed, glancing over at the nearby counter. "Are those new photographs?"

"Yeah, Harry took them today. Percy brought Xave over and we went to the London Zoo with Harry and James."

He handed Draco the tumbler, letting his fingers linger on Draco's as he did. A knowing smile flitted across Draco's mouth before he took a cautious sip.

"Mmmmmm," he said, evaluating the taste. "Very interesting. Very cinnamony. Good choice! Thanks for getting it."

"I thought you might want something to help you relax," Ron said, getting his ale bottle and gently clinking it to his lover's glass.

"I have something else in mind," Draco murmured, raising an eyebrow.

Ron's mouth quirked in a grin. "Good. Bed's been rather lonely the last several days."

"Looks like you had fun today," Draco said as he inclined his head to the moving pictures.

"It was brilliant," Ron gushed. "I nearly forgot! Xavier wanted to get you something from the zoo, a dragon stuffed animal, but they didn't have any. No dragons at Muggle zoos." He produced a small golden plush lion out of a gift shop bag. "He chose this instead."

After Draco put the stack of photos back on the counter, he reached for the proffered lion, shaking his head with tolerant incredulity.

"He's too young to understand the concept of irony, isn't he?"

Ron snorted and took a pull on his ale. "His comment was that you have gold hair and the lion had gold hair, so you should have it."

"My hair is certainly not gold," Draco said, indignant. "It's platinum blond, unless I haven't washed it in several days."

"When did you ever— oh, I'm sorry," Ron said, a flush creeping up his neck as he realised the awful gaffe he'd made.

"You had nothing to do with it," Draco said. He took a mouthful of the liquor as though to wash away some of the bitterness of his parents' sudden deaths sixteen months after the Battle at Hogwarts. Ron didn't have details, but Draco had alluded and given enough hints that Ron knew he'd become reclusive for a time and hadn't taken care of himself.

"I wish I could've helped you then." Ron stumbled helplessly over the words.

"I'd have hexed you to the Founder's Age if you'd come anywhere near me back then. The present time is what matters; I can't bring them back."

Ron stood awkwardly at Draco's side, picking at the label on his bottle with his thumb.

"Here, let's go upstairs and we can do something to get my mind off the past." He shook his head bemusedly at the stuffed animal. "That Xavier's a Weasley through and through."

"We're irresistible," Ron said, playfully squeezing one of Draco's arsecheeks through his robes and trousers.

"Irresistible once you get past irritating, confrontational, and wilfully ignorant about the obvious," Draco drawled. "You are, anyway. None of your siblings are at all appealing." He turned toward Ron so his pelvis rocked slowly against Ron's thigh.

"Well, I'm glad for the last part of what you said, but if you keep talking like that, the only relief you'll get tonight is from your own hand!" Ron said, mostly joking.

"I can be pretty persuasive." Draco leaned in, perching the lion on Ron's shoulder and breathing hotly into Ron's ear.

Ron could smell the cinnamon; kissing Draco would be an especially tasty experience tonight. "Did you learn something new for us to try out on your trip?" he asked.

It had become a long-standing joke whenever they were apart, that the other had gone on a wild sex spree. Draco especially had taken to the game, seriously researching a new position or a toy to try out, but he insisted he'd never actually done research with any blokes. Ron had no reason to think he was lying. He now looked forward with prurient impatience to the first night that Draco returned from being away and wondered what trick his lover would have up his sleeve.

"Of course," Draco purred. He tossed the lion into a chair, followed quickly by a blur of black fur as their cat pounced.

"Shite! Get off that, Pan!" Ron shouted, waving the cat away from what she'd thought was a toy for her. "Guess we'll need to keep this out of her reach."

"You can be in charge of that. I'm going to the loo, then we're getting naked," Draco stated, unbuttoning more of his formal robes as he walked purposefully up the stairs.

"Be right there!"

After his own trip to the bathroom, Ron poured himself some of the Goldschlager and took their drinks upstairs. He dimmed the lights in the living room and had just started ascending the stairs when movement flickered out of the corner of his eye. He nearly lost his balance as he twisted his head to see what was there: it was his reflection in the crescent-shaped mirror hanging on the opposite wall.

"Drinks must've caught the light," he said to himself, shaking his head in irritation. "I need a good night's sleep and then I'll quit seeing things."

Draco had thoughtfully cast a heating charm on the room. He walked to the doorway of their bathroom, wiping at his face with a damp cloth as Ron entered, putting their glasses on the bedside table at Draco's side of the bed.

"Strip down, gorgeous," Draco commanded as he sat down in an unattractive but sublimely comfortable chair. It was one of the few contributions Ron had made to their house. Draco untied and slid off his shoes and made short work of getting down to a pair of zebra print briefs as he continued, "I had plenty of buff men to ogle in Amsterdam, and only wanked once."

"Awwwww," Ron said, trying to sound sympathetic as he pushed down his pants, jostling his half-hard cock to bump his thighs. "Sounds like somebody could use a nice long fuck."

"I do love it when you grasp the obvious." Draco's voice was roughened with arousal. He got up and then perched on the end of the bed, legs spread wide, a growing erection nestled in—

"You shaved!" Ron said before sinking reverently to his knees. With careful fingers, he reached toward the vee of his lover's groin, rolling the soft sacs against his palm. "Do you like how it feels? You weren't exactly super hairy before," he went on, pressing his nose to the smooth, musky skin at the base of his shaft.

"I do," Draco said, the timbre of his voice low and mellow, a rich toffee sound. "I'd love to shave you. I watched these two guys on a stage in a club and it was so hot. Merlin, oh that's so good," he moaned as Ron began sucking the salty crown of his cock, using his hand to stroke the root to get him fully hard.

At first Ron found it odd for there not to be any springy curls and soft fuzz at his fingertips as he worked his mouth up and down, licking and sucking Draco's shaft. He paused to flick the tip of his tongue at the slit, a thrill of lust sparking through him as Draco groaned, trying to thrust deeper into Ron's mouth. Ron pulled off and sat back on his heels, wiping at his lips, admiring the elegant architecture of Draco's features. Their angularity was softer somehow, offset by his heavy-lidded eyes.

"Accio lube," Ron said, keeping his gaze fixed on his lover's face.

Draco gave him a heated stare, then backed up onto the bed. Ron stood up, pouring some of the oil on his palm and took a few leisurely strokes of his neglected erection before walking up the bed on his knees to join Draco. He shifted to lie on his back and Draco raised his eyebrows in question.

"I did a cleansing spell, downstairs," Ron said. "My arse is all yours."

"Words I love to hear."

Draco straddled his waist, leaning down to place a searing, urgent kiss on Ron's mouth. Ron opened his lips, feasting on Draco's spicy tongue, anchoring his hands at the top of Draco's thighs. Then Draco scooted back, taking the unguent and liberally smearing it on his inspiring cock until it glistened. Ron planted his feet on the bed, taking himself in hand, avidly watching the look of concentration on Draco's face as he lined up to Ron's hole and pushed in. Neither of them were particularly chatty during sex, though a wordless epistolary of loving, filthy messages flowed between them. Possessive looks, branding kisses and Draco's relentless pounding into Ron's tight channel eventually brought Ron to his telltale plateau just before everything exploded and he soared from the precipice.

"Fuck, Draco! Nnnnnngh," he groaned incoherently, milking his shaft as the warm fluid splattered on his stomach.

Draco changed his angle, speeding up his pace, lost in his own sea of sensations.

"Come for me," Ron said raggedly, rocking even harder against the snap of Draco's hips. "Feels so fucking good."

About a dozen thrusts later, Draco's face transformed from a mask of concentration to one of open mouthed near-surprise. His hands gripped Ron's knees as he arched his back, his chest heaving, his cock buried in Ron's body.

"Mrwar?" Pandemonium meowed, startling Ron out of his reverie of studying his lover's face, slack and glowing. The cat hopped up on the bed, daintily stepping past Draco's splayed legs to wander to the Molly-knitted throw that lay in an untidy pile.

"That cat thinks she's supreme ruler of this house," Ron said sourly, wincing slightly as Draco pulled out of him.

"That's because she is," Draco said, rolling his eyes as she lifted a back leg by her ear and began cleaning herself with a bright pink tongue. He slid down to Ron's side, reaching over him to the bedside table to retrieve his wand. After he cast a cleansing charm on them, Draco spooned against Ron's ribs, letting his fingers smooth across the dragon tattoo near Ron's left hip.

"Have I told you recently how bloody stunning you are?" Draco asked, nuzzling against the stubble on Ron's jaw. "And how flattered I am that you got this?" His fingers tapped gently on the body art.

"No, and yes," Ron said. Magnanimity pulsed in him as he rested, boneless and sated, his lover embraced in his arms. "I was determined to get fit, especially once I had someone to impress."

"You're more than just fit. You're sculpted muscle, long and lean."

"I could get a big head if you keep on saying things like that," Ron said, though the pleasure of being admired warmed him to the depths of his spirit. He had worked hard to get in shape, to get some real muscle on his frame, and he thought he looked pretty good. Having Draco tell him he was attractive was no longer a novelty. That said, each time he was complimented it was like a swallow of firewhiskey, a potent and fast jolt to his system.

"Mind if I have my drink?" he asked, and Draco shook his head. "You'll have to move a bit for me to reach it."

Draco let out a dramatic sigh. "If you insist."

They spent another quarter of an hour talking, primarily Draco filling Ron in about his trip and what he saw when not in banking meetings until Draco yawned, stretching elegantly as he did.

"I've got to go to sleep," he said.

"Same here," Ron agreed. He slid out of the warm bed to go and brush his teeth and take care of his nightly ablutions.

Soon they were side by side under the covers, bidding each other good night. Ron shifted his feet and heard an annoyed, soft sound from the cat, who he'd obviously disturbed. With Draco back home, he went straight to sleep, though all night he had long, vague dreams about a catastrophic event. He found himself suddenly awake, his heart racing, panic fluttering around him like a cluster of moths.

"Are you okay? What are you dreaming about?" Draco said in a voice thick with sleep. "You yelled something… woke me up."

Ron thought about it, but the images were fading away. The feeling of heartbreaking loss and terror took longer to subside. "I don't know. It was awful, though."

Draco's fingers drifted across Ron's forehead. "Just a dream. Go back to sleep."

Ron tried to relax, breathing the faded but comfortable scent of the saffron and cedar cologne that Draco wore, but his mind was restless. Sleep, when it came again at last, was uneasy.

Continue on to part two

Comments

[nathaniel-hp.livejournal.com]

Not at all unbelievable, my dear. Not at all. It was definitely one of the best in the angst category, possibly in the whole challenge. Yes, quite possibly.

[thrihyrne.livejournal.com]

You are too kind. I can still see many of the flaws in it, but I'm thrilled to bits that it did so well. Especially since it's so bloody long!!

Glad that you participated as well; it's always a privilege to beta for you. I think my catharsis for the angst is now writing Slave Breakers, though I'm about to write angsty SB. *g* Then back to the Elves. And Wraeththu. So many fandoms...

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

congrats, hon. (((hugs)))

[thrihyrne.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! I really didn't expect that at all. Usually writing long stories is rather the death knell, but we're a small 'ship. But still. There were very other strong contenders in the angst category, to be sure. No rest for the weary, though: other stories are beckoning in different fandoms! Thanks for commenting; I appreciate it.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

I don't know why you're so surprised. I remember how stunning this was in the snippets you'd sent to Hannah and I while it was still a work in progress.

I giggled with glee (really!) when I saw that you'd won.

Congratulations!

[thrihyrne.livejournal.com]

Well, because Callum's fic, especially, stands out in his unique use of imagery and vocabulary, and was quite stunning in its plot. But I've found often that longer fics don't do as well, so I really didn't expect to win.

Thank you! I'm tickled! I've been doing really well since April: a Wraeththu winning, and a couple of older HP fics commemorated over at TQP thanks to Wolfie. ;)

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

congrats sweet heart
As soon as I saw the reveal yesterday, I put this on my to read list, which is rather long and growing since I haven't had energy/mood/time to read - but I hope to get to it real soon. :)

[thrihyrne.livejournal.com]

Many thanks! I'm honestly quite surprised and very flattered. It's just so great to have a couple of stories I worked on months ago finally come out into the light of day! Hazard of exchanges and this challenge, lol.

Take your time; you have a lot on your plate. (((warm hugs)))