At long last, a twinfic update!
Oct. 20th, 2004 12:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I tried to post this around five times last night and kept getting an error message of "this document contains no data." So I'm trying again. But first, the "Countdown" soundtrack listing! If you're interested, let me know and I'll burn you a copy.
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1- Harry Potter theme
2- Our House- Madness
3- Salty Dog- Flogging Molly
4- Twelve- Seven Nations
5- Legal Tender- B52s
6- On the Loose- Saga
7- I See Red- Split Enz
8- On the Subway- ‘lost in translation’
9- Baggy Trousers- Madness
10- Time- Jen’s ‘whatever’
11- Mirror in the Bathroom- English Beat
12- Horseshoes- Moxy Fruvous
13- In the Lowlands- Crowded House
14- I’m Going Straight to Hell- Drivin n Cryin
15- Tubthumping- Chumbawamba
16- Celebrity- Barenaked Ladies
17- I’m Too Sexy- Right Said Fred
Here's the update, beginning about 2/3 the way through 'February' since I gave it a major overhaul (and it's been so long any of you keeping up with this will have long forgotten. I swear I'm never going to take this long with a WIP again!) and then the beginning of 'March.' According to the hp-lexicon, the actual date of Fred and George's stupendous swamp incident is a bit up in the air, so I may have some time for them to get up to a few more shenanigans.
An hour later they were at Gringott’s, signing what seemed like at least several dozen copies of the same form. Anastasia Towler had taken the floo network from her office as soon as they had contacted her, which was immediately after they had all but run from the store to the bank. It was perfect. They wanted to rent it immediately, though she insisted that the current occupant still had another month in his lease and they couldn’t begin occupancy until April First. At the earliest.
They were so excited they had reverted to a habit that annoyed most people, sometimes even themselves. They were talking over each other.
“On our bloody birthday!” Fred said, clenching the feathered tip of the quill in his teeth.
“Couldn’t be better-” George interjected.
“Did you see the shops to the sides? We’ll have heaps of pedestrian traffic-” “Monstrous windows. Did’you see all that shelving? We can-”
“Bill’n Charlie’ll be beside themselves. Can’t you just see their faces?” “Bloody hell. ‘S’all ruddy brilliant.”
The nearby goblins and banking patrons gave the twins and, by default, Lee and Anastasia, rather pointed, disapproving looks, which Fred and George promptly ignored.
“Fred! That area in back. That’s mine. I’ve got to get back to work on that idea about the fortune-telling frogs. I know they’re complicated, but-” “Should we go ahead and sneak into the Burrow to get our stuff together, or will that be too bloody obvious? Bollocks. Mum’s bound to go to Headquarters-”
“I know how to make that permutation work. I just have to prod Hermione a bit about the Arithmancy bits, and then-” “Have to let Ginny know. Don’t trust Ron further than the Common Room grate. Unless I’ve tossed him into the fireplace myself.”
“Fred. Fred! I’ve just figured out what’s missing from the swamp, I’ve got it!” “So. D’you think Gin will go along and help us? Or should we just keep this to ourselves and wait for a Thursday?”
“What?!” they exclaimed at each other in unison, both faces flushed with excitement.
A few seconds passed.
“Sign here. Both of you.”
The normal, low-grade hubbub of people going about their business began to roar in George’s ear as Fred took the quill from Anastasia. “It would be my absolute pleasure,” he said in his most officious voice, then handed the quill to his brother.
George willed his hand to stop shaking as he signed his full name in binding ink to the parchment, a bit surprised that no blood was involved. He and Fred were going to be shop owners. Bloody hell, praise Merlin and All Magical Folk. This was no idle passing dream. Thanks to Harry, No, not just Harry, you’ll say a word for Cedric, you ungrateful sod, they were really going to make Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes a reality. Despite not being Prefects. Despite every block in the road their Mum had imposed. Despite Percy, despite all unexpected impediments in the way. Even if Umbridge became Imperial Ruler of Hogwarts with fucking Decree Number ‘Who Gives a Whizz,’ they would still have their shop, and there was nothing that any of them could do about it.
Just as he was blowing on the ink, he heard a disturbingly familiar voice behind him.
“Boys?”
Lee Jordan moaned. “Oh lads, you’re in for it now.”
“Hi, Dad,” Fred and George said together.
***
Ginny practically pounced on them when George, Fred and Lee entered the mostly empty common room.
“Where’ve you been?” she asked, eyes wide. “You’ve got Howlers. From Mum.”
“Oh, bloody hell,” Fred muttered.
Hermione, sitting in a nearby chair, opened her mouth to chastise him but he and George beat her to it. “There are first years. We know,” they said together.
“Were you getting a present for Ron?” Ginny asked, pulling the twins away from Hermione’s hearing. Lee trailed along, giving an apprehensive look at the smouldering Howlers.
“Why would we do something stupid like that?” George asked, scowling at the red envelopes which were following them to the corner.
“It’s his birthday tomorrow! Had you forgotten?”
“Forgotten? I can barely remember George’s birthday,” Fred joked. “And his is infinitely more important.”
“Um, blokes, you may want to- ” Lee began, but then the Howlers opened of their own accord and Molly Weasley’s voice filled the room.
“Fred Xavier Weasley!” “George Xanadu Weasley!” the voices shouted together. “How could you? You should be studying, not breaking Hogwarts rules to go to Diagon Alley and CERTAINLY NOT signing a lease! I don’t care that you’re both of age, you will FINISH SCHOOL, do you hear me?!”
The angry noise stopped and Ginny stared at them. George stamped over to the shredded remains of one of bits of paper, then jumped on it, pounding it into the ground with both feet. “Nothing! You! Can! Do! About! It!” he yelled, then kicked the small pile for good measure.
“Let’s go upstairs,” Lee suggested, tugging on his arm. “Got heaps to discuss.”
“You really did it?” Ginny said incredulously. “You’ve really-”
“Sorry, Gin, can’t tell you any more,” Fred interrupted.
“Or it would be obliviate central, and we know how you hate it when our wands are pointed at you,” George continued.
She glared at them. “I’ll find out,” she promised. “And you’d best at least conjure a card or something for Ron. He’s been wretched and mopey since that match.”
“Not my problem,” George said. “I can’t bloody play, can I?”
“And tying him to one of the goal posts is a bit obvious, though it’s been suggested,” Fred went on.
Lee snickered.
“You two are impossible,” Ginny said. “Mum’s right- you’re self-centered, you really only care about yourselves, and sometimes you’re just really mean.”
Fred feigned hurt. “Oh, George, I’ve been cut to the quick.”
“How can you know us so well?” George said, leaning on Fred. “Oh. You must be a relative.”
Ginny made a menacing growling sound and stormed away.
“Such a Weasley,” Fred said affectionately. “Let’s go.”
The three went up the stone stairs to fill Towler in on all that had happened. Over some celebratory firewhiskey, of course.
It was nearly midnight when, on the verge of collapse, the four roommates fell into their beds.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have missed that!” Towler was still incredulous. “If I ever told my Dad to ‘read it and weep’ in answer to any question, especially, ‘What exactly do you think you’re doing?’ I’d’ve been hexed to the Dark Ages. During the plague, for certain.”
“I’ve never seen him look so confused in all my life,” George gasped, laughing at the memory of their father, stunned into silence, staring open-mouthed at the twins, and then the deed parchment, back at the twins, and even a sideways glance at Jordan. “There wasn’t a thing he could say, he was so utterly gobsmacked.”
“He’s always let Mum do the yelling for him, anyway,” Fred said, tottering toward their toilets.
“He’s a brave one, your Dad,” Lee said, waving his wand to light his bedside candle. “Good thing there’s only one girl in your family. If he survives all of you he should have his own statue.”
“Give it a few months, and he’ll be begging to live with us rather than be stuck with Mum, Ron and Ginny.”
“Too right,” Lee said, reaching under his bed for a rather battered copy of a rather risque magazine.
“Oy! You didn’t bring me anything back from that Piadora’s Palace.”
“Didn’t get there.” Lee sounded very disappointed.
“Yeah, but we’ll be going more often, right mates?”
Lee and Towler looked at George.
“Gotta pass my N.E.W.T.s, George.” Lee shrugged.
“Unlike you and your infernal, luckiest bastard twin, bags of galleons have not fallen into my lap, and I’m in the same boat as Jordan.”
“We’ll do right by you,” Fred vowed, having re-entered the room and toppling onto his bed. “One for pornography, and pornography for all!”
“Hear, hear!” Lee cheered.
“Oh Merlin.” Towler pulled the curtains around his bed.
***
VII. March
“All of you shall stay behind- except you, Mr. Towler.” McGonagall’s lip quirked in sympathy. “I know that Professor Snape expects you for a double potions class this afternoon.” She swept her hand to tidy her already-perfect coiffure. “It is a shame that you are the only seventh-year Gryffindor to be pursuing a N.E.W.T. in potions, but so be it. Different years bring different skills, and yours will be missed if you don’t get to the dungeons post-haste.”
Towler had already leapt up from his desk, slinging his bag over his shoulders, blonde hair falling in his eyes and panic glazing his expression.
“You’ll be fine, Kenneth,” she went on, giving him a warm smile. “You and I will meet later this evening. Now off to your potions class.”
He bolted as the remaining Gryffindor seventh years lounged as comfortably as possible in their desks.
“So.” McGonagall stood imperiously, looking at George, at Fred, and the remainder of their classmates over the top of her glasses. She walked to the front of her desk and crossed her arms. “It’s been two years since we’ve had a talk such as this. You’re all of age now.” She waved her wand, shutting the door to her Transfigurations classroom. “What are you planning to do after you leave Hogwarts, and what can I do to facilitate your getting there? You’re a frightfully talented group, and I’m not saying that merely because I am your Head of House.”
Chaos ensued. Lee and Aneglina blathered on about Quidditch, Lee giving McGonagall the names of the teams he had contacted in regards to being an announcer, while Angelina tried to keep her blushing to a minimum as she announced that she had been owling Oliver Wood and was going to have a try at professional Quidditch. Katie Bell shook her head morosely. “Not good for anything. Don’t know what I’m going to do post school,” she said, biting on her lower lip. “Any ideas would be really helpful,” she muttered.
McGonagall turned and waved her wand at a piece of chalk which then made a few notes on the board at the front of the classroom. “Not to fret,” she said, and Katie brightened.
“Well,” Alicia said timidly, “I haven’t told anyone but Bell, but I want to be an animal healer. I’ve spoken to Hagrid about it, but he didn’t have proper schooling, so I went to Madame Pince to look into schools.” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve done some additional research with some of the more conventional creatures and have written it up, which I hope will make a difference.”
“What a splendid idea and an admirable calling,” McGonagall enthused. “And I believe your marks are such that you should have no problem in that area. I’d be happy to write you a letter of recommendation.”
Spinnet beamed, and grinned at Katie.
“Fred? George?” Their Head of House walked until she was standing in front of their seats, her insightful gaze plumbing them both for information. “I’ve heard all kinds of unlikely rumblings of what you two are planning. Not that I blame you, of course,” she went on, placing one hand on each desk, looking from George to Fred and back again. “And not that I would admit any of the rumours to be true. What I do know is that both Professor Flitwick and I will be exceedingly disappointed if you don’t take your exams, because I fully expect to see you at your graduation.” She paused and glared intently at them. “Despite the fact that we are currently under the supposed rule of a nightmarish biddy sent by the ineffectual, pushover Ministry.”
There was a gasp.
“And nothing that I say to you is to leave this room,” McGonagall went on sharply. “You’re all from good families and have astoundingly sound minds. Just use them. But for Merlin’s sake, don’t be stupid.” She paused. “So. Messers Weasley.”
“An Auror. Of course,” Fred said solemnly, fingers steepled and his thumbs beating a slow rhythm together. “No higher calling.”
“Auror,” George echoed.
McGonagall rounded on them. “This is serious!” she said menacingly, her hat quivering on her brow as she suppressed her anger. “You two don’t truly mean to try and be Aurors, do you?”
Fred looked at George, who lifted an eyebrow, then almost imperceptibly wrinkled his nose. George didn’t really care to lead on his Head of House, who had defended and aided them more times than was really necessary.
“Right. No, not really,” Fred replied, stroking his chin in a mock thoughtful voice.
“Pretty sure we’ll be shop owners, though,” George said, looking McGonagall in the eye. “And we owe a lot fo the future patented items to your continued and never-flagging instruction.”
“Just wait’ll you see our kaleidoscoping kilts,” Fred enthused, then blanched under McGonagall’s gaze.
“I know that you boys won’t believe me, but this is not a joke. Clever people are needed in every capacity when there’s a war on-”
“Are we at war?” Katie asked queriously. “I didn’t think that anyone in the Ministry really believed that you-know-who was back.”
“You read Potter’s article in the Quibbler,” Alicia said incredulously. “I thought you’d believed him.”
“I did,” Katie retorted, grasping on to the desk. “But there’s still no proof beyond what he said. Aren’t I allowed to think for myself for once?”
Angelina turned around. “Yes, but not if you’re going to be a bleeding idiot-”
“I believe him!” Jordan chimed in, cutting Angelina off.
“Well, you’d believe anything Johnson said, since you still follow her around like a lovesick puppy,” Katie sneered.
“Oy! That’s our mate you’re insulting!” Fred threw into the fray of voices, silencing Katie who stared stormily at him.
“You’re just furious because you were thrown off the team,” she said, scowling.
“Bloody hell we were, by that fu-” George began.
“ENOUGH!” McGonagall yelled. The noise was so loud and so authoritative that a partially transfigured cactus morphed back into its usual form of a wasteparchment basket.
The room fell eerily quiet.
“Messers Weasley, you will remain here momentarily. Johnson, Bell, Spinnet and Jordan, I will meet with you each independently. And no,” she waved her hands in a calming mothing as agitated sounds began to rise from her students, “none of you are in eminent strife from me. As I stated originally, what we say here as members of Gryffindor House, in this room, are all kept in strictest confidence.”
She gave the twins a piercing look. “I’ve found that I now instinctively cast an Imperturbable charm on my classroom door, thanks in no small part to your all-too-ingenious extendable ears which seem to have been purchased by all of the third and forth years. So even if your fellow Gryffindors had tried to listen in - or Hufflepuffs, or Ravenclaws, who doubtless are kicking themselves for not having thought of such a clever device first, they will find they are bereft of information.”
She shook out her robes and realigned her hat. “You four are dismissed. You will find a parchment outside of my office door with spaces to sign up for individual counsel. Please don’t squabble over it.”
As Lee, Angelina, Alicia and Katie tromped out of the classroom, George had his gaze fixed on McGonagall and saw her give them what was surely a slight, but fond smile as the heavy door swung shut.
“Fred and George.” McGonagall turned and looked from one to the other. “A joke shop, is it?”
George nodded as Fred blurted out, “How did you know? Was it Dad?”
She shook her head primly.
“Mum,” George sighed.
“Molly Weasley contacted me and begged that you not be expelled,” McGonagall said through pursed lips, “If only so she could, and I quote, punish you as only a mother can. You’re lucky you two and Jordan weren’t put on instant probation. You know that you’re not permitted off Hogwarts’ grounds unless it’s a Hogsmeade weekend. And you are certainly not permitted to be caught!”
They were trapped under her steely gaze.
“Not caught,” George repeated dutifully.
“And for Merlin’s sake, finish at Hogwarts.” McGonagall stood, an imposing figure, hands settled firmly on her hips, then her expression softened. “You’re both incredibly talented wizards, despite your less than orthodox approach to your schooling. Though you might never admit it, the shadows of your older brothers may be more imposing than you’d care to think about, but you have your own paths to take. I trust you to do that, and I trust you to do it splendidly.”
George was flabbergasted as a genuine feeling of pride overtook him. “Thank you,” he said forcerfully. “We won’t disappoint you.”
“Nor our adoring public!” Fred chimed in with enthusiasm. “There are galleons to be made, and not enough time to make them.” He swooped up from his desk and approached their head of house, who now looked dour. “You should have put us on probation,” he continued, bowing briskly.
“And deny Umbridge your charming presence in her class?” McGonagall sniffed. “Not on your life.” Her eyes sparkled as George got up and followed Fred out of the room. “But I expect nothing but Outstandings out of both of you in Transfigurations. Highest marks. Don’t you dare shame me in your N.E.W.T.s.”
Fred winked at George as the door shut firmly behind them. “You know what I think sounds outstanding?”
“Going outside on this glorious day and selling some Headless Hats.”
“Ah, how well you know me.”
“Mr. Weasley?” George gestured forward with his arm.
“No, no, Mr. Weasley.” Fred chuckled. “After you.”
They strode down the hall side by side. FredandGeorge. Invincible.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-20 08:53 pm (UTC)On another note entirely, back to the travel abroad thing: come to think of it, people reacted the same way to me when I went to D.C. alone to intern as an undergrad. So maybe it's not the abroad thing as much as the alone thing. Who knows why. Weird, huh? Anyway, I'm so glad you were able to do the Scotland thing, even if you didn't bring Billy Boyd back in your spare suitcase.
Now I've gotten long-winded. This new section is fantastic. And you know I think your soundtrack ROCKS. :) Go twinfic!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-23 01:06 am (UTC)*sniff* So true, so true.
Thanks heaps for the comments- you really have outdone yourself. And glad you liked the SW card. Thanks for letting me know your cleaning preferences, too. ;)
Go twinfic! It's so nice to have some to post at long last! Though it is low on the angst-meter. Have to get back over to NBtC for that. Or perhaps I'll start a new Snape story. Hmmm.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-21 09:19 am (UTC)The noise was so loud and so authoritative that a partially transfigured cactus morphed back into its usual form of a wasteparchment basket.
brill ♥ ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-23 01:08 am (UTC)Oh sweety, you never have to apologize for not leaving a review, long or short. Honest!!
So glad you liked that line... it's certainly fun to write twinfic! I may have a few more short scenes like the one recently posted, and then segue into the swamp scene. Hee. Tonight I'm treating myself to reading, though, if I can find something longish to sink into.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-21 11:55 pm (UTC)only had a chance to do quick skim of the story (sorry!) but really liked the tone and characterisation - as always, you have such a keen 'ear' for nuance and narrative. I love your dialogue.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-23 01:09 am (UTC)I'm going to have to plead ignorant on that front... maybe my much-beleagured memory needs prodding.
Glad you enjoyed the skim! I haven't been doing much LJ'ing so I haven't checked yours out in a while. No kids this weekend, though, so perhaps I'll have some quality online time.