So much gratitude!
Oct. 18th, 2018 11:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thrihyrneI was at sauna yesterday afternoon, ruminating on how I feel that I'm blissfully bobbing along on a sea of gratitude. Two weeks ago I was going through what I hope to be my final bad detox, and here I am now, anticipating starting a new job, taking a free into week at Pure Barre, maxing out my Spa Club time at Everett house... not only that, but thanks to not working in recent months, that I'm legally single, and Evan's year of paying alimony is up, I qualified immediately for Oregoncare. That means that I have state-support health insurance until the new year (I'll sign up for a subsidized insurance plan through the ACA in November, but it won't kick in until 2019), which most immediately meant that after the detox center up in Washington called in 2 refills of Antabuse for me, instead of me having to pay $131 out of pocket, I paid $0. I'm so incredibly grateful that there is still a social net here, and I look forward to paying back into it as of next week.
But because my mind still wants to find something to obsess about that could go wrong, I've been fighting off worries that my former housemate will decide not to return my deposit after Evan and I move out the rest of my stuff on Saturday. That's ridiculous even to contemplate considering that I may have spent maybe 14 nights there total during my time there, and all I did in my room was sleep or watch videos on my computer. My mind still wants to have very unnecessary conversations, so this morning I created a crystal grid and lit my two intention candles. I sent up prayers of thanks to the Universe and my Guardians, and said my mantra of peace:
I am safe.
I am loved.
I am on a sacred journey.
It's going to be okay.
But because my mind still wants to find something to obsess about that could go wrong, I've been fighting off worries that my former housemate will decide not to return my deposit after Evan and I move out the rest of my stuff on Saturday. That's ridiculous even to contemplate considering that I may have spent maybe 14 nights there total during my time there, and all I did in my room was sleep or watch videos on my computer. My mind still wants to have very unnecessary conversations, so this morning I created a crystal grid and lit my two intention candles. I sent up prayers of thanks to the Universe and my Guardians, and said my mantra of peace:
I am safe.
I am loved.
I am on a sacred journey.
It's going to be okay.