More on the Maelstrom & Mage conversion challenge

[thrihyrne]

Especially when I have to get up at 7:00 because I'm working a morning shift this morning. Urg.

It occurred to me much of why I'd been dealing with so many personal and writing challenges in both the first grand overhaul and edit of M+M and now this second, of reshuffling and adding more plot and maybe even taking out some of the aruna scenes, is that it will truly make this a Wraeththu novella. Which is what Storm wants to publish. It's not, however, what I wrote. I write relationship-based stories. I think I have from the very beginning. I'm not a plot-driven writer, though of course even in a relationship-based stories, even my longer story arc'ed stories (Magic Immunity, Cartography of Fire, even my first Tolkien novella, Daughters of Oromë) are episodic and there's plot which tells you about the relationships. In thinking about Storm's original trilogy especially, there's a lot of plot going on. I was struck by this in comparing my stuff to hers. I really thrive on writing about the two (or occasionally three) primary characters, and how their relationship changes and evolves due to their personal journeys and what goes on around them. Plot-propelled stories, especially without a lot of more intimate scenes... well, not my strong point to my knowledge. Because until now, I've never written that. Is this project really when I should be trying? At least I do have a very astute editor and if nothing else, if I am able to pull this off to her satisfaction, I'll have a product which I've never had before. But it made me realize more than ever that it would have been easier for me to convert even something like my Tolkien mini-novella A House Divided to an actual novella, despite it, too, being episodic and having the points of view of Morwen, Thengel, Ecthelion, Aragorn and, in the epilogue, Eowyn. Why? Because the plot is there, and for some reason, probably because it's not a period of time and place I created myself, easier to fill in. I can do this for M+M, though the tensions are now far changed from it being focused on the relationship between Ashmael and Vaysh and how that changes in their new enclave, to it being on the tensions of some of the key OC hara there, the community in relationship to the Varrs (who figured only with the appearance of 2 OCs in my original), some hara of Saltrock, and Thiede's overarching plans. So... a 180 in concept and motivating forces. Would I ever have chosen to write that? Um, no. Me, take out sex scenes at this point in my writing life??! It seems anathema to me, but for it to become more in line with published Wraeththu stories, the answer is yes.

Again, I will do this, I will. And having these new elements of self-awareness and just why it's so hard and not seeming like a grand adventure in my writing life does help. It doesn't change the fact that I'm forcing myself into very unfamiliar writing territory, and I may suck at it. I suppose that's what worries me. I know I've become good at writing aruna and/or sex scenes and about relationships. Then again, I didn't start out being the writer I am now, six years later. It was all new at first. I just need to trust that I've been learning the skills and can learn this as well.

Now to finish my coffee. Boy do I wish I'd had more sleep. On the plus side, after my morning shift, our patron services team is being taken to lunch (or breakfast! It's served for most of the day!) at a Portland mainstay named Besaws. Thankfully we were given the menu a couple of days ago as I would be overwhelmed by having to choose a menu item on the spot. I'm still a little undecided.

And at each point, even when tossing and turning at crazy-thirty this morning, when I've been feeling cranky or whiney, I think about simons_flower and the fact that I should consider it my privilege to be alive to do these things. I hope that this lack of complacency about each day that I do wake up stays with me for a long time.