5 mintues of R/S porn- "Better Than the Pub"

[thrihyrne]

So, musesfool, who I know must be at least 5 people sharing one account, posted this on August 17th:

So last night Pru and I were discussing writing and characterization and porn, as we so often do, and we bemoaned the fact that there just isn't enough good, raunchy, balls-out Remus/Sirius porn, porn without much plot attached, or any kind of loving burnish or lyricism.

And if anyone in the Potterverse is going to be good at raunchy porn, it's got to be Sirius Black - he had to be the king of dirty talking, come to daddy, let's get naked and screw, deliciously filthy, bone-melting sex.*

If you're fortunate enough to be on edeainfj's flist, you read her contribution. I've decided to add my two cents' pages worth, even though I'm not a BNF and there are probably still too many adjectives.

But it is certainly unadulterated PWP. And Sirius is in charge. This time.


Remus pulled at his tie and undid the top three buttons of his shirt as he climbed the last few steps to the flat. He shoved the door open, looking forward to having at least an hour or so to himself, since Sirius was…

“Pads! What’re you doing here?”

Remus rounded the corner into the kitchen, having unexpectedly seen the back of Sirius’s head. Sirius was sitting in a chair, on a towel, naked, fisting himself. There was a beer to his left on the table.

“Isn’t that obvious?” Sirius replied, provocatively rubbing the top of his cock with his thumb.

“But, but- you’re supposed to be out at a pub with James,” Remus spluttered, wrenching off his tie.

“He felt ill.” Sirius continued to stroke his shaft, completely unself-conscious. “So I took a bath. Was thinking about you. Decided to have a wank.” He smiled wickedly at Remus. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, fuck, Sirius,” Remus growled, fingers tearing at his oxford buttons, tossing the shirt and tie to the lino floor as he strode over to Sirius, still sitting in the chair, hand moving up and down as an indecent expression gleamed in his eyes. “You’re shameless,” Remus went on, forcing open the hook and eye on his trousers, unzipping them and shoving them down. His threadbare boxers followed hurriedly after and Remus almost fell into the table as he stepped on the heels of his shoes.

“No, I’m serious,” Sirius said, his voice husky. “And once you get rid of the rest of those clothes, I’m going to seriously fuck you through the wall.”

“Promises, promises,” Remus groaned, leaning over to retrieve his wand which had clattered to the floor during his frantic attempts to strip as quickly as possible. A wet thumb rubbed the cleft between his cheeks. “Oh, fuck!” He dropped the wand again and Sirius laughed. “Indecent, impossible…” Remus’s rant sped up to match the pace of Sirius’s vigorous ministrations on himself. “Lube, Pads. Lube. Now!”

Sirius continued to lean back in his chair, studying Remus’s expression of near-panic, then returned his gaze to his cock. “I’m pretty slick already,” he rumbled, pulling taut skin down to show off the rosy head, milking glistening, white drops.

“Sirius,” Remus whined, taking his own stiffening cock in his hand. “Not fair.”

Sirius grinned, an animalistic smile, then he picked up Remus’s wand and waved it at Remus’s arse. The needed spell was uttered, then he sauntered up from his chair. “Bend over, Moony.”

Remus turned and grasped the edge of the table, legs spread apart. He felt Sirius behind him, felt that thick head thrust into him and he threw his head back as he was breached. “Bloody fucking Merlin!”

Sirius was pumping him, fingernails terribly in need of a trim clutched at Remus’s hips, balls slapping against his arse. Remus shoved back against him, the cock filling and pushing and - “Oh fuck oh fuck that’s it”- as Sirius rammed against that spot that made him crazy and his knees want to give out.

“God, love fucking you,” Sirius groaned, reaching a hand down to grab at Remus’s swinging hard cock that had been rubbing the underside of the table. “Taking you, shoving, oh fuck, what a tight arse.”

Remus bucked back against him, Sirius fisting him with such fast clenched motions that his eyes watered.

“Sirius, fuckfuckfuck, ‘bout to-”

Sirius kept slamming into him, then bit Remus’s shoulder.

“Gah!” he shouted. Remus’s orgasm was wrenched out of him as he exploded violently into Sirius’s hand.

Sirius chewed on Remus’s upper back, shoving, shoving, shoving until Remus felt the hairy thighs tighten and Remus braced himself against the table. Sirius came with profanity and no small amount of teeth in Remus’s shoulder.

The small kitchen was filled with the sound of panting men and the stifling scent of sex.

Sirius pulled out of Remus and staggered backward, dropping heavily back into his chair. After wiping his hands on his towel, he pushed his dripping fringe off his forehead, then appraised Remus, now counterbalanced against the table with one hand.

“Better than the pub,” Sirius observed.

“Cheaper, anyway.”

“Moony, get me another beer?”

Remus rolled his eyes, his whole body still boneless. “Put that underused wand back to work. I’m going to the loo.”

Sirius lounged back in his chair, watching Remus walk down the hall. “Underused wand my arse,” he said, looking down at his flaccid cock. “Just you wait, Remus J. Lupin.”



As I said. Nothing redeemable. But hopefully wank-worthy. ;)