Bummed out

[thrihyrne]

I'm trying very hard not to do a large 'fuck you' to the Universe right now, as I'd gone so far in the interviewing/vetting process with a company I really thought wanted to bring me on, Squarespace. They declined my candidacy today after 5 process steps, and I admit to being more than a little heartbroken. I loved their office culture, their office location, and the thought of being able to learn so much about their beautiful website templates. *sigh* That it's so soon in my time being alcohol-free feels like a giant metaphorical carrot had been dangled in front of me, only to be yanked away and a big, "PSYCH!" yelled at me to challenge me in my earliest days of recovery fueled by Antabuse. On the plus side, Evan and I had a conversation last night and since I am committed to being alcohol free and staying on Antabuse, even if I have to order the fucking pills from India, instead of finding yet another place to hang out for a few months until I returned to the apartment, I'll be returning home next weekend. Having that stress resolved has made this disappointment much easier to put into perspective. Which is, "Squarespace's loss, someone else's gain." I'm not in desperate financial straits, and I have a skill set that someone else will need a drool cup to handle. It's just disappointing.

Comments

[eccequambonum]

Alcohol-free is the only way to truly recover and regain who you *really* are under there. It's ugly and hard, but I'm glad you have found the way that works for you.

And the Universe at the moment is in this huge snit of granting some things, then giving you a smack around the next corner. You are not the only one going through this, trust me.

::hugs::

[thrihyrne]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Regaining myself at this age is more than a little daunting, but also necessary. I've also plugged back into the online Women for Sobriety community and discovered that now there's a weekly meeting super close to me that's face to face! Very excited about that addition.

The Universe gifted me with a different job right down the street, plus I currently qualify for Medicaid. That means that the called in prescription for Antabuse from the detox facility I went to up in Washington last month (versus having to spend many dollars to see the psychiatrist resident at OHSU as they don't accept Medicaid and he said I'd need to see him before he could prescribe it to me) went from being $131 out of pocket to $0. I am so grateful for the resources that I have.

((((hugs back))))