Here, and cycling up out of a spiral

[thrihyrne]

My role at work is very stressful, and several of my colleagues and I have major morale demoralization and feel utterly trapped. We apply for other positions and are told, "You're too important to Resolutions." Ergo, it's becoming a dead end position. I had a whirlwind of interviews for a new position last week but in the end needed to gracefully withdraw as it was blatantly obvious that this position needed to be done from HQ. And, um, no- though I was asked multiple times, Evan and I are not and never will be relocating to San Francisco. But the past two months have had my share of making poor decisions, which has led to sick time at work, additional stress as I detox, and the pain of seeing Evan suffer. I tend not to remember much during those times, but he does. Still, these occurrences have been far less frequent than ever in the past seven years. The support Evan gives while always acknowledging that I'm an autonomous human being and free to make all of my own decisions— just also acknowledging that at some point if those decisions continue to wreak havoc, that there would be consequences as he has very healthy boundaries— is tremendous and has helped keep me from the worst of situations. But I've needed to make a new commitment to putting the decision to stay in my right mind and make wise decisions for months on end (with help, of course) as primary. I'll ruin the rest if I don't do that and get back to the even-keeled body chemistry I had going earlier this year.

In other more light-hearted news, well, I'm back on the right track. I've also been truly gifted by the universe via friends, several of whom have sent links to other job possibilities all in a cluster. I do have another interview for a different team tomorrow at my current employer (which I'm not naming because I know we have a social media team and I'd rather them not find my LJ), and I'll hope that I can move over to that group. I'll also try to post a little more often than twice a month. :P