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"Break Open the Massive Dark" part three
Continued from here
"Hey Yazdyar? Do you have ingredients for making bread?" Azriel called out.
"You want to make bread?" Aleeme asked, giving his chesnari a strange look.
"Sure! It's something to do, and it seemed like a good idea. You have something else in mind?"
He poked Aleeme in the ribs, an easy enough gesture since they were sunbathing without the benefit of clothes, another Ferelithian tradition the healer had introduced them to since they'd come to recuperate with Yazdyar.
"Well, no, but… do you even have a recipe?"
"No! I'll bet Yazdyar does, though. Let's go find out," Azriel said, grinning as he pulled Aleeme to a standing position and then kneading gently into the small of Aleeme's back. "No wonder I fell for you. What a gift to re-discover that I had such superb taste in hara before," he murmured as Aleeme allowed himself to be held.
Unbidden, an image of Azriel, chained and his face wrenched toward Aleeme, Azriel's jaw held in Diablo's grip, careened into Aleeme's mind.
"No, don't watch!" he gasped, feeling Ponclast's cold hands, seeing his flinty, hate-filled eyes, sensing the wide pike of his ouana-lim, soon to split him open while his beloved chesnari was forced to watch.
"Azriel!" he cried out, trying to collapse into a tiny ball. He was down on his knees, shaking and crying as Azriel tried to console him.
"I don't remember that, Lee, I love you, love you. Please come back from that dark place," he begged, covering him with his arms while Aleeme struggled, caught up in the visceral tug of war between his waking nightmare and real life.
"Aleeme! You're safe, I promise you!" Yazdyar said, having bolted from the house and throwing his arms around Aleeme as well. "It's okay, you're not there. Azriel and I are here for you. Let me share breath, show you what's true," he went on, cradling Aleeme's jaw as he cupped his face, his eyes full of compassion.
Aleeme didn't resist; he lay back in Azriel's arms as Yazdyar shared breath with him, filling him with images of adoration and contentment until Aleeme's heart quit hammering in his chest.
"Better, sweetheart?" Yazdyar asked, and Aleeme nodded, continuing to clasp tightly to Azriel's hands. Yazdyar still seemed worried, so Aleeme gave him a reassuring smile.
"Yes. Thank you both. I'm just glad that those memories haven't been coming back as often." He raised Azriel's hands to his lips and kissed the backs of them. Yazdyar smiled, but there was a shade of melancholy to it. Aleeme decided that they all needed a distraction, and Azriel's idea seemed as good as any. "And Azriel wants to bake bread. Do you have the makings for that?"
Yazdyar's forehead wrinkled as he contemplated the request. "Um, doubtful. Let's go to the kitchen and find out, shall we?" he enthused, springing up from the grass and leaning down to lend Aleeme and then Azriel a hand up. "I've not been much of a bread baker, myself, though there's nothing like the scent of fresh bread. We can go to the markets if I don't have yeast and flour. Sounds like fun, regardless," he continued on. "Azriel, you're in charge of ingredients. Let's get dressed and see what wares Ferelithia has to offer us today!"
Aleeme had temporarily forgotten he was naked. He and Azriel and Yazdyar spent much of their time unclothed or nearly so at the healer's house, and he'd quickly gotten used to that.
"Excellent suggestion," Aleeme said agreeably, walking at Azriel's side. "Oh, your pendant," he said, draping his arm across the back of Azriel's hip. "I've noticed you're always wearing it. What is it?"
"It's a phoenix. Vaysh gave it to me when I was young. I'd admired it on him and he decided I should have it. It was initially a gift to him from a har he'd been involved with in some northern country."
"It's lovely."
"Thank you." Yazdyar tapped it, looking thoughtful. "I should try and see him the next time I'm in Immanion."
A chime sounded and Aleeme looked curiously at Yazdyar.
"Who on earth could that be?" the healer mused aloud. "I'm not expecting anyone today."
"I definitely need to put on my robes!" Azriel said, jogging back to the room he and Aleeme were sharing.
"We all do!" Yazdyar said, laughing.
Aleeme was still fumbling with the ties on his tunic when he heard the front door open and Yazdyar's noises of surprise. Taking Azriel's hand, Aleeme walked back to the front room where Yazdyar was chatting avidly with two hara dressed in tight-fitting pants and short tunics of shimmering teal. They were both quite tan and carried an air of officiousness.
"Aleeme, Azriel," Yazdyar said, gesturing to each in turn, "this is my brother, Teak, and his friend Parallax."
"Pleasure to meet you," Aleeme said as Azriel made an affirming noise.
"I'm the brother," Teak said, "not that anyhar would know that. We don't resemble each other very much."
"Maybe not, but with all of those curls, I can tell you're related to Jaffa!" Aleeme exclaimed.
Parallax snorted. "You're getting the full effect because he just cut his hair. It used to be much longer and the curl was weighed down."
"Aleeme and Azriel are staying with me for a little while as they recuperate. They'd been held prisoner in Fulminir prior to the war."
Parallax's eyes grew wide. "We heard about you! Teak and I are in the Gelaming army under General Aldebaran. We fought there; it was pretty nightmarish. We lost some good hara."
Teak reached out and held Parallax's hand and squeezed it. Aleeme got the feeling that the two were more than simply friends or frequent rooning partners, and he started to feel badly for Yazdyar as a single har. Then again, maybe he wasn't the pairing-off type. Certainly not all hara developed chesna bonds. Yazdyar did seem like the type who would bond deeply with somehar else, but maybe he'd had a bad relationship recently.
"Teak and Parallax are in town for a party, so they decided to stop by," Yazdyar explained. "We were going to go to the markets— Azriel's decided to bake bread and, well, you know me and the state of my kitchen!"
"It's a good thing you're patients," Teak said, winking at Aleeme and Azriel. "Otherwise you'd be lucky to find much of anything in his pantry."
Yazdyar blushed and shrugged. "It's true. I've never been much of a cook and I tend to eat at the training center or the hospital."
"I wouldn't have known," Azriel said, looking genuinely surprised. "The meals you've made have been delicious. I'm happy to cook, too. Sorry I hadn't offered to do so before now."
"Please don't worry about it," Yazdyar said, an embarrassed flush still in his cheeks. "But if you want to cook, feel free. What are your plans before the party?" he asked his brother. "Care to join us?"
"I think that we're going to go down to the waterfront," Teak said. "Thanks for the invitation, though."
"Teak here says that the waterfront is the place to see and be seen," Parallax said, smoothing out invisible wrinkles from Teak's tunic. "And he does like to be seen," he said with a rakish grin.
"Yes, Teak has never been shy about parading himself for anyhar who'll look," Yazdyar commented. From his tone, Aleeme wasn't sure how much of it was said in jest. Given the fleeting sour look on Teak's face, this topic was one of contention between them.
"So I was blessed with atypical good looks—"
"And an atypically sized ego to match," Yazdyar muttered.
"I think that we should go and let your brother and his guests get on to the markets," Parallax said, appearing unruffled by the spat heating up between Teak and Yazdyar.
I think he suspected this was coming, Azriel said to Aleeme in mind-touch.
Yeah, chances are they've had this discussion before. "It was nice to meet you both," Aleeme said aloud.
"You, too," Teak replied, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "You should come to Immanion, even if only for a few days. It's worth the visit, once you're well enough to do so. Yaz has his flaws, but he is a very good healer," he added a bit grudgingly.
"We're both very grateful for him," Aleeme declared.
"Yes, very," Azriel spoke up. "Thanks for your part in fighting Ponclast and his forces, too."
Parallax nodded, his expression somber. "Fortunately we aren't needed all that often. I've been a companion of Ashmael's since, well, since I first became har. I believe in the Gelaming and am proud to be a part of the General's forces."
There was a period of silence, each har caught up in his own thoughts. At last Teak shook his head, causing his ringlets to dance around his high cheekbones.
"Well, this conversation has gotten way too serious. We're here to have fun, and it's time to get to it. Yaz, see you later. Aleeme, and— what was your name again, handsome?"
"Azriel har Parasiel," he said, sounding almost uncertain.
"Hmmmm. Delightful. Well, we're off."
Teak gave his brother a perfunctory kiss on both cheeks and then he and Parallax let themselves out, closing the door firmly behind them. Yazdyar quirked his mouth to one side and pressed the fingers of his left hand against his temple with a pained sound.
"Teak's visit has given me a headache. Azriel, would you be heartbroken if we sat around for a bit over some sheh?"
"No, that's fine. I can get it and some glasses."
"Thanks. You're a gem."
Aleeme followed Yazdyar to a low-slung couch in his cozy sitting room. He'd painted the walls an unusual cerise, and the couch was an eye-popping orange. For all of the vivid russet shades in the room, it was surprisingly relaxing.
"Teak's right, though. We should go to Immanion and Phaonica," Yazdyar said once he had a tumbler of sheh and had taken a couple of sips. "You've both gotten tremendously better and I don't think the Otherlanes travel would give you any trouble. I should send an overnight letter to Vaysh and see if he's too overworked for us to visit."
"I'd like to see Cal again, and thank him for rescuing us," Azriel said quietly, gazing into his glass. "I was able to talk with him in those first few days, but then it was like something snapped, and I retreated into myself. Maybe they took me to see you, and I couldn't handle it," he murmured, looking at Aleeme. "I do know that Cal was the har who broke my chains and could travel through those dangerous dimensions to get me out of Fulminir."
Yazdyar swirled his glass, stretching back against the soft weave of the couch and crossing his feet at the ankles. "Calanthe learned some truly amazing things while with Thiede," the healer said reverently. "Only he, or the Tigron, or maybe one of the Nahir-Nuri could have had the ability to pour enough life back into you, Aleeme. He gave me a hasty briefing, just said that the candle of life in you had been all but snuffed out."
Aleeme found he was wading through a churning whorl of gratitude, dulled horror of remembrance, and an itchy prickliness of realizing just how close he'd come to dying; he'd wanted nothing more before he'd come to at the healing pavilion.
"Maybe an afternoon of sheh and lazy aruna would be more beneficial than bread baking," Azriel said into the hush.
"Do you remember that one particular night we spent with Moon when he visited Forever?" Aleeme asked, giving Azriel a sultry look.
Azriel closed his eyes for a few moments, biting on his lower lip. That hadn't been a gesture he'd tended to do before when concentrating, and Aleeme found it was unaccountably erotic. Then he opened his eyes and shook his head, obviously disappointed.
"Well. You're both in for a treat then, unless, Yazdyar, you've been involved in many threesomes?"
"No, but I'm already looking forward to us creating new memories," he said, the beginnings of his excitement roughening his voice.
Much later, when the sun was setting and they'd frolicked in each other's arunic seas like tireless seals, Aleeme let out a soft sigh. His head was in Yazdyar's lap, and his feet in Azriel's. The healer played with his hair while his chesnari languorously rubbed at the balls of his feet.
"What're you thinking?" Azriel asked.
"Well, I've been enjoying Ferelithia, and I just feel so much more alive, and invigorated," he said, reaching a hand up to stroke Yazdyar's cheek. "I think my legs are fully back to normal, and after this afternoon, I'm pretty sure that in the aruna organs department, miracle of miracles, I'm healed as well."
Yazdyar's face softened at his words, and his eyes grew bright with tears as he smiled tenderly at Aleeme.
"The thing is that I miss our home," Aleeme went on, curling down his toes and focusing on Azriel. "I miss Forever, and our herb garden, even your batty highhostling."
Azriel cawed a laugh. "If you're missing Cobweb, you're not as well off as you think!" he said, smiling impishly until amazement bloomed on his features. "Cobweb. I remember," he said slowly, a troubled look settling in his eyes. "He told me that Ithiel was killed. Oh, poor Cobweb." He shook his head. "Still, I'm ready to go to Immanion and see Cal— I just have this feeling that he'll be able to help me retrieve much more of my past."
Aleeme felt something wet fall on his face and turned his head. Yazdyar continued to play with his hair, and was crying silently, the occasional tear rolling down his cheek and dripping from his chin.
"Yazdyar, are you okay?" Aleeme asked, suddenly worried that the healer's tears were of sadness and not joy.
He sniffed, nodding, and then leaned over to get the edge of his shirt to wipe his nose. "I'm just going to miss you so much when you go," he said, his voice a soft lament. "Both of you. It's a hazard of being a healer, caring so much for the hara you take care of, but I'd never dealt with somehar as damaged as you were, Aleeme…" He wiped at his eyes with his thumbs, looking apologetic. "I put so much into you. I wanted your recovery so much, and being able to have you both in my home, spend time with me as friends as well as patients, and our aruna— it's, well…"
"Bone-melting?" Azriel suggested, squeezing Aleeme's feet.
Yazdyar laughed, sniffling at the same time. "Yes, it is that, but I also feel that it's done so much for me. I hope that it's been a contributing element to your healing. To be candid, I don't know that aruna for me will be the same again."
"Oh Yazdyar, you're skilled, you're quite dashing, and have a heart the size of Megalithica. Surely you'll be snatched up in no time flat once we're out of your hair," Azriel said, his words obviously heartfelt.
"Well, I certainly can't predict the future, but I know my past. You two are so fortunate. And that's all I'll say about that topic," he stated firmly, giving them a shaky smile. "Let me go write quick notes to Vaysh and Cal that I can send via overnight courier, and then I think we should go to one of my favorite restaurants. I'm starved."
"Sounds wonderful," Aleeme said, though of course he was now dreadfully curious about the healer's past. Once Yazdyar had carefully raised Aleeme out of his lap and walked back to his room, Aleeme and Azriel quietly discussed what might have happened to the Ferelithian.
"We are fortunate," Aleeme said, leaning over to kiss Azriel deeply, keeping it a physical kiss of tongues and lips until Azriel's breath transformed it. When they pulled apart, Aleeme sensed Azriel's hesitation.
"What is it?" he asked as they got up from the floor and began to dress.
"Well, you love me, but you're remembering years of experiences with a former me that may never come back," Azriel said, halting every few words as though afraid to speak them aloud. "How can you stand it? Would you choose me— again? Even if Cal can't help me into myself to unlock the memories, if they're there? I feel like I'm full of gaping holes," he said miserably.
"Az, come here," Aleeme pleaded, enfolding him in a firm hug. "You're still you, still trusting and kind, you seem to adore me, and seeing you makes my heart speed up. Being with you feels like I've come home. We're scarred, and imperfect, and we went through separate hells."
He stroked Azriel's back as Azriel gently nuzzled against his neck. Aleeme closed his eyes, smelling the familiar, unique scent of his chesnari's warm skin. "We'll make new memories, together," he promised, nosing next to the sensitive curve of Azriel's ear. He'd had several piercings, before, but now the holes were empty; Aleeme decided he'd get him a few thin rings in Azriel's metal of choice before they left Ferelithia. Surely he would still take pleasure in being adorned.
"You were chosen for me for my feybraiha, but we selected each other of our own will after that. If those memories won't return, our first night back I'll tell them to you. Better yet, we can almost re-experience them," Aleeme said.
"Almost?" Azriel's voice was more playful now than despondent.
"Well, I could pretend to be inexperienced, I guess," Aleeme murmured.
"No, that's okay." Azriel leaned back, his face hauntingly beautiful, a complex architecture structured by the lineage of hara from whom he was descended. "Just choose me."
Yazdyar's tear-streaked face, bravely attempting a smile, haunted Aleeme, but he chanted the mantra that drummed in his heart: "You, Azriel. Again, and again, and again."
* * * * *
Immanion rose in front of the three hara. It was resplendent and shining, a luminous homage to harish sensibilities. Soaring towers thrust opalescent cries of triumph into the air. Banners waved; the city gleamed, every surface sending the message that the creatures inhabiting such an environment were superior, aesthetically obsessed, and a force to be reckoned with.
"At least it's not ostentatious or anything," Azriel deadpanned, and Yazdyar laughed, a full-bellied sound that made Aleeme smile.
"I guess Phaonica is the highest tower?" Aleeme asked.
"Oh yes. I thought I'd take you by the healing training centre, then go eat somewhere, then we can make our way walking up to the realm of the Tigrons and Tigrina and their staff of thousands."
"What about the sedim?" Azriel asked, letting the creature lead them into the city.
"There are different stables, including one near the training center. I want you to meet some of my colleagues, but you'll also both get a thorough evaluation by one of the senior healers."
"Physically I don't doubt I'll get a healthy assessment," Azriel said. "But the other aspects—"
"Will be what they will," Aleeme interrupted. He was sitting behind Azriel on Tassia, Vaysh's sedu. "I can see how your brother would fit in here well," he said to Yazdyar as they made their way to the outskirts of the city. The hara wandered through markets without haste; there were hara of many exotic colorings, clothes and other elements to their appearance that set them apart even from the diversity of Ferelithians. The Gelaming were easy to pick out, tall and regal-seeming, poised courtiers and stewards of this orderly realm.
"Teak does prefer living here to Ferelithia," Yazdyar agreed, letting his gaze sweep along the wide street lined with glossy foliage before turning to look at Aleeme. "I like it here too, really I do. But it can seem almost too efficient, too well mannered. And it's definitely political. I couldn't care less about prestige or being a sycophant to get closer to hara in places of power."
His last words held a hint of venom; more than ever Aleeme was curious as to what made him and Teak chafe, and if that was related to Yazdyar's cryptic statements about his past. Soon they were at the pristine, bustling entrance to the healing center. Aides came out to greet them, and after dismounting, Yazdyar gave one of the young residents instructions about the sedim.
"Well!" he enthused, waving at the door. "This is where I was transformed from a naïve young har who wanted to help his harbrethren to the jaded healer you see before you." His wide grin and sparkling eyes told the true tale.
"You're such a liar," Azriel said, smirking.
The rest of the day was a blur for Aleeme, though it also seemed to go at a snail's pace. He was anxious to meet Cal if possible, but primarily for Azriel to spend the evening with him since the Tigron had graciously carved out several hours to chat and work with Azriel, one on one. For his part, Aleeme had strange butterflies in his stomach about meeting this mysterious Vaysh person, the original Tigron's personal aide, and also at having several hours alone with Yazdyar. Aleeme continued to feel the occasional twinge of disloyalty when he thought of the healer, though the source of the ghostly jabs remained a mystery. Their aruna was first and foremost for healing; Yazdyar hadn't spoken or acted inappropriately.
You need to stop obsessing about his personal life, he chided himself as they walked up the vast wave of stairs that led to Phaonica.
"I've never seen anything like this," Azriel murmured in Aleeme's ear.
There were guards in bright pavonian garb much like Teak and Parallax's uniforms standing every dozen steps or so, though they were unarmed as best as Aleeme could tell. He didn't doubt that they listened in somewhat to hara's words, whether spoken or in thought, in order to protect the royal household.
"This environment seems like the near opposite to that of your hostling and father," Aleeme said to Yazdyar, who nodded.
"I think some hara rebel against their upbringing, but Teak is truly drawn to the intrigue here. He's very popular in Ferelithia, too," he said dryly, producing a scarlet envelope which he gave to the har who stood at the entry arch.
The har had a long face with olive skin, sensuous lips and elegant gestures like those of a dancer. After scanning the note, he gazed at the three with languid interest.
"Greetings, Yazdyar har Ferelith, Azriel har Parasiel and Aleeme har Sarestes. You are expected. Azriel, you are to come with me. I will take you to see the Tigron Calanthe. Healer Yazdyar, do please escort your charge to the fourth level courtyard and Vaysh will meet you there. I am told you know your way…" The har's eyebrow arched delicately, the action changing the statement to a question.
"I do. Thank you." Yazdyar placed his palm in the middle of Aleeme's back to steer him around the courtly sentinel, but Aleeme stepped over to Azriel.
"Don't rush or force anything," he said quietly, running his fingers through Azriel's thick hair. "Just trust him, and please tell him how grateful I am for what he did for me."
"He may be able to visit tomorrow," Azriel insisted as Aleeme clung to him for a moment. He felt unsettled and out of place, especially when unfamiliar, warm fingers light as moth's wings came to rest on his shoulder. Startled, Aleeme pulled away from Azriel. The sentry-har seemed to glow with benevolence and goodwill.
"All hara without hate in their hearts are welcome here," he said, his voice as smooth as rich cream. "Don't be of troubled spirit. The sun is warm, the air fragrant. Be at peace. No harm will come to this one you cherish."
His words seemed terribly formal to Aleeme, but he sensed the comfort behind them and some of the tension eased out of him.
"See you tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest," Azriel said, giving Aleeme a quick, firm kiss before looking expectantly at his escort.
"Please give my best to Calanthe as well," Yazdyar said, standing at Aleeme's side as the sentinel and Azriel walked down a marble corridor. Another har in similar plum robes took the first har's place and Yazdyar inclined his head in the direction of a curving staircase. Onyx statues of swans sat poised at its base, their heads turned toward each other. Aleeme kept his mouth shut until they'd arrived at a set of glass doors in the shape of wings. The doors were wide open, their crimson curtains pulled over to one side and held back with gold cording. Green shrubs that seemed to have been trimmed into shapes of animals came into view in the courtyard.
"This is unbelievable," Aleeme said hoarsely, looking at Yazdyar for grounding. "I mean, the Parasiels aren't exactly poor. They have staff, and gardens, an estate… Azriel's highfather was the autarch! I've gotten used to living pretty luxuriously. But this," Aleeme gestured feebly in an arc from the manicured gardens to the inlaid marble behind him. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, realizing he had nothing further he could say. Made mute by the scale of beauty and grandeur surrounding him, Aleeme walked slowly into the courtyard.
"It takes a little while to get used to," Yazdyar confided, draping his arm over Aleeme's shoulder.
Aleeme stood straight at first, then sagged against the healer, letting his head rest at the juncture of shoulder to neck.
"I assume I'm not interrupting anything," a reedy voice drawled behind them.
Aleeme spun around, his hands itching to straighten out his robes when he saw the har who must be Vaysh approach. He was captivatingly beautiful, but his body language was a loud chorus of 'keep your distance.' Frost practically radiated from him, so Aleeme was quite shocked when Yazdyar strode to Vaysh and took him in his arms for a tender embrace— which was returned. The healer then kissed him firmly on the mouth before turning to Aleeme.
"Vaysh, this is Aleeme har Sarestes."
"So it is. I've known of you, of course, through Pell's friendship with your hostling. Given what you went through in Fulminir, I must say that I'm pleased to be speaking with you now."
Vaysh was so matter-of-fact about Aleeme's lineage, as well as the torture he'd suffered that he was momentarily stunned into silence. He cleared his throat, and then said, "I'm pleased to be speaking at all."
Aleeme found Vaysh disquieted him; he couldn't help being captivated by his appearance, the porcelain skin, lurid hair the color of persimmon fruit, his soume side brought haughtily to the fore. A look into his grey eyes, though, and Aleeme saw the flashing knife blade. If Vaysh had loyalties, doubtless they were solid as granite, but Aleeme couldn't fathom how anyhar would be allowed close enough to be a confidante or friend. He was aloof, a beautiful flower that blooms in the dead of winter, yet he was almost cozy in his treatment of Yazdyar. Aleeme had never been around an individual so enigmatic, and it made him uncomfortable. He was consumed by a childish wish that Vaysh would be called away and Aleeme could lay in Yazdyar's lap, the healer playing with his hair.
"I trouble you," Vaysh bloviated. "It's written all over your face. Don't apologize, I do that to a lot of hara. It allows me to pick my friends carefully." A layer of ice melted; he pressed his lips together to refresh the gloss on them. "Come, let's go over to the gazebo. I'll have wine and some fruit brought to us."
He gracefully extricated himself from Yazdyar's hold, but stayed at his side while motioning to a path of rose-colored sand. It was just wide enough for the three to walk alongside one another, with Yazdyar in the middle. He reached for Aleeme's hand and held it. The gesture was such a natural, un-selfconscious act that Aleeme was able to relax somewhat.
"You're the personal aide to the Tigron? To Pellaz?" Aleeme clarified, having decided it was rude to not to appear interested in the high-ranking har.
"I am. We've been together in that capacity for many years, with only a few scars to tell the tale."
Aleeme heard the droll undercurrent in his voice, but the overwhelming energy he felt was that of rigid guardedness. The Tigron had visited Aleeme's parents in Roselane a lot when he was growing up. To be honest, Aleeme had had rather a crush on the dark-skinned har who sizzled with power and confidence. It was difficult for him to reconcile an image of Vaysh and him being emotionally close, much less Vaysh and the Ferelithian healer. As they entered the gazebo and sat in ornately carved chairs near a circular table, he blurted out, "How did you two get to be friends?"
Yazdyar glanced at Vaysh, who gazed fondly back at him. Degree by degree, Vaysh was thawing before his eyes. Aleeme could almost see the bond between them, a coruscated haze of familiarity.
"Vaysh was in the same tribe as my parents, and even knew my father before his feybraiha," Yazdyar recounted as a serving-har approached. He placed a tray with two bottles of wine, glasses, and a heaping plate of fruits and figs in front of them. After he'd poured each of them some wine, each har murmuring his thanks in turn, the serving-har left. Yazdyar lifted his glass, proposing a toast.
"To treasured companions, both long-standing and new."
Their glasses clinked brightly and they all drank. It was a crisp, tart wine; Aleeme took another sip, letting the flavor dance on his tongue before swallowing.
"Anyway," Vaysh continued, "I told you, Aleeme, about the pendant that I wear and that it came from Vaysh. He also kept an eye on me during my time at the institute, especially during an intense half-year of training in Phaonica."
"You make it sound as though I was spying on you," Vaysh said archly, leaning forward in his chair to select a strawberry which he nibbled on with even, white teeth. His sensuality was much more apparent now. While Aleeme wasn't drawn to him, it dawned on him that it was highly likely that he and Yazdyar had been rooning partners on occasion.
"I know you were busy with all sorts of other important activities to do with the Tigron and the rest of the royal household," Yazdyar said, merriment emblazoned on his face. "But I also don't doubt that the occasional letters I sent home weren't the only correspondence they got from Immanion."
"I'll never tell," Vaysh drawled, nudging the plate of fruit toward Aleeme. "Here, please help yourself. One of the advantages of being so close to the Tigron is getting the best of everything."
"Thank you."
Aleeme felt less awkward around Vaysh now, no doubt a combination of the wine and the fact that Vaysh had deemed Aleeme worthy of seeing behind the mask so apparent when he'd first arrived. Aleeme took a peach from the platter and a cloth napkin embroidered with a symbol of Immanion, two serpents twining around a sword. He bit into it and juice ran down his chin. The fruit was delicious, and he sucked at the furry skin where more juice threatened to spill before dabbing at the stickiness on his chin. He glanced up and saw Yazdyar watching him in rapt attention, his fingers gliding up and down the stem of his wineglass. If Azriel didn't return until late this evening or in the morning, Aleeme was certain there would be some aruna with his healer in his future. Just the thought of his made his soume-lam tremble slightly, as though taking a breath. Biting into the peach for another mouthful suddenly seemed like foreplay.
"So, Aleeme. You're part Colurastes, yes? It doesn't show that much, but then again, I've not met many from that tribe."
"I'm half Colurastes, half Sarock. Ulaume didn't teach me much about our clan, but my hair does sometimes have a mind of its own."
Vaysh nodded and leaned down to pull a footstool near him. He lounged back in his chaise so that the front vee in his robe opened a bit, showcasing prominent collarbones and a thin silk cord with a curvy piece of jade hanging from it. "What do you think of Immanion?" he asked, taking a deep swallow of wine. "It can be a bit much the first few times you visit."
Aleeme nodded vigorously. "The scale of things is just enormous," he said, turning the half-eaten peach in his fingers. "And it's so diverse. I thought that Ferelithia was colorful and exotic, but there's even more variety of tribes and cultures here."
"Well, it is essentially the capital for all of Wraeththu," Vaysh noted, "though there are still some tribes who prefer not to have anything to do with us. Pell would like to have harmony, and all tribes be at peace under our banner, but he has other things on his mind now that Cal has returned… again." He let out a labored sigh. "And— well, it's common knowledge, but you've been over in Megalithica until recently, Yazdyar. Has Teak told you the joyful news?"
Aleeme took the last bite of his peach and sucked on the pit, savoring every last bit of the sweet flesh. He was dying of curiosity since Vaysh's expression was anything but joyous.
"No. He's too busy talking about his own successes, or about the intrigues in the ranks of the army," Yazdyar said, rolling his eyes and pouring himself another glass of wine. "Thank Ag he seems to have settled down a bit with this har named Parallax, so now I don't have to hear about all of his rooning conquests."
"Parallax? I've not kept up with him. How interesting," Vaysh said under his breath, momentarily sidetracked.
"What about the Tigron?" Yazdyar probed.
Vaysh drummed the table lightly with his fingers. "He's with pearl."
"Really?" Yazdyar spluttered, but then his mouth split open with a grin. "That's wonderful! But wait— he was injured pretty seriously during that last attack. Physically he wasn't too badly off, but psychically and emotionally… is he really up for this? The timing could be better," he mused aloud.
"Yes, it could," Vaysh said, echoing his sentiments. "But there's nothing for it. Caeru's still dealing with his own loss, and the priest hara in the nayati around Immanion have reported an increase in hara praying for the safety of the Tigron and the unborn harling."
Aleeme's guard was down; he hadn't expected that the conversation would involve harlings and being with pearl. As clear as day, he heard the pitiful mewling cries of the harling he'd borne. With jarring recollection, he felt how he'd been so repulsed by its need for affection and warmth, even though the barest sliver of him wanted to care for the creature that had been housed in his body. Mostly, however, he'd shunned it, especially when Ponclast had forced him to be with pearl again mere days after he'd expelled the first one, when Aleeme was in a constant push and pull of wanting to live and wishing desperately to die.
"Oh Aleeme, come here," Yazdyar said urgently.
Aleeme shook his head, bringing himself back to the present, to the sun and succulent peaches and potent wine.
"Could you please pour me some more wine?" he said, his voice scratchy.
"I will, but I want you in my lap." Yazdyar was firm.
"I'm fine," Aleeme insisted, even as he realized his hands had balled into fists, bunching up his tunic. He prised his fingers open and placed his palms on the table.
"I don't know what I said to have so affected you, but it was unintentional," Vaysh said, leaning across the table to place his hand atop Aleeme's.
"It's okay." Aleeme looked up at him, surprised at the concern he saw in his eyes.
"No, it's not. And you're not," Yazdyar said, his tone verging on strident. "Vaysh, I hate to do this, but I think we should go. I need to do some healing work with Aleeme. We hadn't addressed this topic, and this is a safe place to bring it out in the open. It's time."
"Yazdyar," Aleeme growled. "I'm not a harling. You can't just yank me around."
"Through pelki you were forced to carry two pearls, and the first harling survived," Yazdyar said in a low, pained voice. "We don't have to deal with all of it at once, but it is my professional opinion that you let me engage in some healing rituals with you about this. Your reaction to Vaysh's comments was so immediate and so profound that I'm not going to let you pretend it didn't happen. Please, Aleeme."
Aleeme bit the inside of his cheek, but the tears came anyway, bitter and angry. "Fine. An exorcism it is, then. Vaysh, I'm sorry you're seeing me like this. I'm… I'm not the har I was," he choked out.
Vaysh eased up from his chair, walked around the table and pulled Aleeme out of his chair and into his surprisingly strong arms. "One day I'll tell you my story," he murmured into Aleeme's ear as Aleeme wept, unable to wrestle down the anguish that fought in him like a caged lion. "I was utterly broken and scoured out," he went on, carding his fingers through Aleeme's hair. "I'm not the har I used to be, either. We're more alike than you know. Now go with your healer. I would be worried and a terrible host if you didn't."
Aleeme managed to calm himself down enough to croak, "Okay," and allowed himself to be handed over to Yazdyar.
"Why don't you go to my rooms," Vaysh suggested. "I have a deep tub, you can both go soak in that as a part of any ritual you may decide on. I'll notify my staff so they're not surprised. You remember where my rooms are," he stated, and Yazdyar made an affirmative noise.
"Thank you, Vaysh. We'll go to one of the guest rooms in a couple of hours."
"Take your time," Vaysh said, sitting back down in his chaise. "I have a rare period of quiet and then I'm accompanying Pell to a dinner meeting with a newly-elected member of the Hegemony."
"Better you than me," Yazdyar said, shaking his head. "It was good to see you. I'll visit again soon."
"I hope so." Vaysh poured himself a small serving of wine. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Aleeme. You're perhaps stronger than you know."
"Thank you." Aleeme's emotions were no longer galloping out of control and he managed a serviceable bow, placing his hand over his heart. "It's been a privilege."
[scene continues on but was too large for an lj-cut]
Continue to part four
"Hey Yazdyar? Do you have ingredients for making bread?" Azriel called out.
"You want to make bread?" Aleeme asked, giving his chesnari a strange look.
"Sure! It's something to do, and it seemed like a good idea. You have something else in mind?"
He poked Aleeme in the ribs, an easy enough gesture since they were sunbathing without the benefit of clothes, another Ferelithian tradition the healer had introduced them to since they'd come to recuperate with Yazdyar.
"Well, no, but… do you even have a recipe?"
"No! I'll bet Yazdyar does, though. Let's go find out," Azriel said, grinning as he pulled Aleeme to a standing position and then kneading gently into the small of Aleeme's back. "No wonder I fell for you. What a gift to re-discover that I had such superb taste in hara before," he murmured as Aleeme allowed himself to be held.
Unbidden, an image of Azriel, chained and his face wrenched toward Aleeme, Azriel's jaw held in Diablo's grip, careened into Aleeme's mind.
"No, don't watch!" he gasped, feeling Ponclast's cold hands, seeing his flinty, hate-filled eyes, sensing the wide pike of his ouana-lim, soon to split him open while his beloved chesnari was forced to watch.
"Azriel!" he cried out, trying to collapse into a tiny ball. He was down on his knees, shaking and crying as Azriel tried to console him.
"I don't remember that, Lee, I love you, love you. Please come back from that dark place," he begged, covering him with his arms while Aleeme struggled, caught up in the visceral tug of war between his waking nightmare and real life.
"Aleeme! You're safe, I promise you!" Yazdyar said, having bolted from the house and throwing his arms around Aleeme as well. "It's okay, you're not there. Azriel and I are here for you. Let me share breath, show you what's true," he went on, cradling Aleeme's jaw as he cupped his face, his eyes full of compassion.
Aleeme didn't resist; he lay back in Azriel's arms as Yazdyar shared breath with him, filling him with images of adoration and contentment until Aleeme's heart quit hammering in his chest.
"Better, sweetheart?" Yazdyar asked, and Aleeme nodded, continuing to clasp tightly to Azriel's hands. Yazdyar still seemed worried, so Aleeme gave him a reassuring smile.
"Yes. Thank you both. I'm just glad that those memories haven't been coming back as often." He raised Azriel's hands to his lips and kissed the backs of them. Yazdyar smiled, but there was a shade of melancholy to it. Aleeme decided that they all needed a distraction, and Azriel's idea seemed as good as any. "And Azriel wants to bake bread. Do you have the makings for that?"
Yazdyar's forehead wrinkled as he contemplated the request. "Um, doubtful. Let's go to the kitchen and find out, shall we?" he enthused, springing up from the grass and leaning down to lend Aleeme and then Azriel a hand up. "I've not been much of a bread baker, myself, though there's nothing like the scent of fresh bread. We can go to the markets if I don't have yeast and flour. Sounds like fun, regardless," he continued on. "Azriel, you're in charge of ingredients. Let's get dressed and see what wares Ferelithia has to offer us today!"
Aleeme had temporarily forgotten he was naked. He and Azriel and Yazdyar spent much of their time unclothed or nearly so at the healer's house, and he'd quickly gotten used to that.
"Excellent suggestion," Aleeme said agreeably, walking at Azriel's side. "Oh, your pendant," he said, draping his arm across the back of Azriel's hip. "I've noticed you're always wearing it. What is it?"
"It's a phoenix. Vaysh gave it to me when I was young. I'd admired it on him and he decided I should have it. It was initially a gift to him from a har he'd been involved with in some northern country."
"It's lovely."
"Thank you." Yazdyar tapped it, looking thoughtful. "I should try and see him the next time I'm in Immanion."
A chime sounded and Aleeme looked curiously at Yazdyar.
"Who on earth could that be?" the healer mused aloud. "I'm not expecting anyone today."
"I definitely need to put on my robes!" Azriel said, jogging back to the room he and Aleeme were sharing.
"We all do!" Yazdyar said, laughing.
Aleeme was still fumbling with the ties on his tunic when he heard the front door open and Yazdyar's noises of surprise. Taking Azriel's hand, Aleeme walked back to the front room where Yazdyar was chatting avidly with two hara dressed in tight-fitting pants and short tunics of shimmering teal. They were both quite tan and carried an air of officiousness.
"Aleeme, Azriel," Yazdyar said, gesturing to each in turn, "this is my brother, Teak, and his friend Parallax."
"Pleasure to meet you," Aleeme said as Azriel made an affirming noise.
"I'm the brother," Teak said, "not that anyhar would know that. We don't resemble each other very much."
"Maybe not, but with all of those curls, I can tell you're related to Jaffa!" Aleeme exclaimed.
Parallax snorted. "You're getting the full effect because he just cut his hair. It used to be much longer and the curl was weighed down."
"Aleeme and Azriel are staying with me for a little while as they recuperate. They'd been held prisoner in Fulminir prior to the war."
Parallax's eyes grew wide. "We heard about you! Teak and I are in the Gelaming army under General Aldebaran. We fought there; it was pretty nightmarish. We lost some good hara."
Teak reached out and held Parallax's hand and squeezed it. Aleeme got the feeling that the two were more than simply friends or frequent rooning partners, and he started to feel badly for Yazdyar as a single har. Then again, maybe he wasn't the pairing-off type. Certainly not all hara developed chesna bonds. Yazdyar did seem like the type who would bond deeply with somehar else, but maybe he'd had a bad relationship recently.
"Teak and Parallax are in town for a party, so they decided to stop by," Yazdyar explained. "We were going to go to the markets— Azriel's decided to bake bread and, well, you know me and the state of my kitchen!"
"It's a good thing you're patients," Teak said, winking at Aleeme and Azriel. "Otherwise you'd be lucky to find much of anything in his pantry."
Yazdyar blushed and shrugged. "It's true. I've never been much of a cook and I tend to eat at the training center or the hospital."
"I wouldn't have known," Azriel said, looking genuinely surprised. "The meals you've made have been delicious. I'm happy to cook, too. Sorry I hadn't offered to do so before now."
"Please don't worry about it," Yazdyar said, an embarrassed flush still in his cheeks. "But if you want to cook, feel free. What are your plans before the party?" he asked his brother. "Care to join us?"
"I think that we're going to go down to the waterfront," Teak said. "Thanks for the invitation, though."
"Teak here says that the waterfront is the place to see and be seen," Parallax said, smoothing out invisible wrinkles from Teak's tunic. "And he does like to be seen," he said with a rakish grin.
"Yes, Teak has never been shy about parading himself for anyhar who'll look," Yazdyar commented. From his tone, Aleeme wasn't sure how much of it was said in jest. Given the fleeting sour look on Teak's face, this topic was one of contention between them.
"So I was blessed with atypical good looks—"
"And an atypically sized ego to match," Yazdyar muttered.
"I think that we should go and let your brother and his guests get on to the markets," Parallax said, appearing unruffled by the spat heating up between Teak and Yazdyar.
I think he suspected this was coming, Azriel said to Aleeme in mind-touch.
Yeah, chances are they've had this discussion before. "It was nice to meet you both," Aleeme said aloud.
"You, too," Teak replied, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "You should come to Immanion, even if only for a few days. It's worth the visit, once you're well enough to do so. Yaz has his flaws, but he is a very good healer," he added a bit grudgingly.
"We're both very grateful for him," Aleeme declared.
"Yes, very," Azriel spoke up. "Thanks for your part in fighting Ponclast and his forces, too."
Parallax nodded, his expression somber. "Fortunately we aren't needed all that often. I've been a companion of Ashmael's since, well, since I first became har. I believe in the Gelaming and am proud to be a part of the General's forces."
There was a period of silence, each har caught up in his own thoughts. At last Teak shook his head, causing his ringlets to dance around his high cheekbones.
"Well, this conversation has gotten way too serious. We're here to have fun, and it's time to get to it. Yaz, see you later. Aleeme, and— what was your name again, handsome?"
"Azriel har Parasiel," he said, sounding almost uncertain.
"Hmmmm. Delightful. Well, we're off."
Teak gave his brother a perfunctory kiss on both cheeks and then he and Parallax let themselves out, closing the door firmly behind them. Yazdyar quirked his mouth to one side and pressed the fingers of his left hand against his temple with a pained sound.
"Teak's visit has given me a headache. Azriel, would you be heartbroken if we sat around for a bit over some sheh?"
"No, that's fine. I can get it and some glasses."
"Thanks. You're a gem."
Aleeme followed Yazdyar to a low-slung couch in his cozy sitting room. He'd painted the walls an unusual cerise, and the couch was an eye-popping orange. For all of the vivid russet shades in the room, it was surprisingly relaxing.
"Teak's right, though. We should go to Immanion and Phaonica," Yazdyar said once he had a tumbler of sheh and had taken a couple of sips. "You've both gotten tremendously better and I don't think the Otherlanes travel would give you any trouble. I should send an overnight letter to Vaysh and see if he's too overworked for us to visit."
"I'd like to see Cal again, and thank him for rescuing us," Azriel said quietly, gazing into his glass. "I was able to talk with him in those first few days, but then it was like something snapped, and I retreated into myself. Maybe they took me to see you, and I couldn't handle it," he murmured, looking at Aleeme. "I do know that Cal was the har who broke my chains and could travel through those dangerous dimensions to get me out of Fulminir."
Yazdyar swirled his glass, stretching back against the soft weave of the couch and crossing his feet at the ankles. "Calanthe learned some truly amazing things while with Thiede," the healer said reverently. "Only he, or the Tigron, or maybe one of the Nahir-Nuri could have had the ability to pour enough life back into you, Aleeme. He gave me a hasty briefing, just said that the candle of life in you had been all but snuffed out."
Aleeme found he was wading through a churning whorl of gratitude, dulled horror of remembrance, and an itchy prickliness of realizing just how close he'd come to dying; he'd wanted nothing more before he'd come to at the healing pavilion.
"Maybe an afternoon of sheh and lazy aruna would be more beneficial than bread baking," Azriel said into the hush.
"Do you remember that one particular night we spent with Moon when he visited Forever?" Aleeme asked, giving Azriel a sultry look.
Azriel closed his eyes for a few moments, biting on his lower lip. That hadn't been a gesture he'd tended to do before when concentrating, and Aleeme found it was unaccountably erotic. Then he opened his eyes and shook his head, obviously disappointed.
"Well. You're both in for a treat then, unless, Yazdyar, you've been involved in many threesomes?"
"No, but I'm already looking forward to us creating new memories," he said, the beginnings of his excitement roughening his voice.
Much later, when the sun was setting and they'd frolicked in each other's arunic seas like tireless seals, Aleeme let out a soft sigh. His head was in Yazdyar's lap, and his feet in Azriel's. The healer played with his hair while his chesnari languorously rubbed at the balls of his feet.
"What're you thinking?" Azriel asked.
"Well, I've been enjoying Ferelithia, and I just feel so much more alive, and invigorated," he said, reaching a hand up to stroke Yazdyar's cheek. "I think my legs are fully back to normal, and after this afternoon, I'm pretty sure that in the aruna organs department, miracle of miracles, I'm healed as well."
Yazdyar's face softened at his words, and his eyes grew bright with tears as he smiled tenderly at Aleeme.
"The thing is that I miss our home," Aleeme went on, curling down his toes and focusing on Azriel. "I miss Forever, and our herb garden, even your batty highhostling."
Azriel cawed a laugh. "If you're missing Cobweb, you're not as well off as you think!" he said, smiling impishly until amazement bloomed on his features. "Cobweb. I remember," he said slowly, a troubled look settling in his eyes. "He told me that Ithiel was killed. Oh, poor Cobweb." He shook his head. "Still, I'm ready to go to Immanion and see Cal— I just have this feeling that he'll be able to help me retrieve much more of my past."
Aleeme felt something wet fall on his face and turned his head. Yazdyar continued to play with his hair, and was crying silently, the occasional tear rolling down his cheek and dripping from his chin.
"Yazdyar, are you okay?" Aleeme asked, suddenly worried that the healer's tears were of sadness and not joy.
He sniffed, nodding, and then leaned over to get the edge of his shirt to wipe his nose. "I'm just going to miss you so much when you go," he said, his voice a soft lament. "Both of you. It's a hazard of being a healer, caring so much for the hara you take care of, but I'd never dealt with somehar as damaged as you were, Aleeme…" He wiped at his eyes with his thumbs, looking apologetic. "I put so much into you. I wanted your recovery so much, and being able to have you both in my home, spend time with me as friends as well as patients, and our aruna— it's, well…"
"Bone-melting?" Azriel suggested, squeezing Aleeme's feet.
Yazdyar laughed, sniffling at the same time. "Yes, it is that, but I also feel that it's done so much for me. I hope that it's been a contributing element to your healing. To be candid, I don't know that aruna for me will be the same again."
"Oh Yazdyar, you're skilled, you're quite dashing, and have a heart the size of Megalithica. Surely you'll be snatched up in no time flat once we're out of your hair," Azriel said, his words obviously heartfelt.
"Well, I certainly can't predict the future, but I know my past. You two are so fortunate. And that's all I'll say about that topic," he stated firmly, giving them a shaky smile. "Let me go write quick notes to Vaysh and Cal that I can send via overnight courier, and then I think we should go to one of my favorite restaurants. I'm starved."
"Sounds wonderful," Aleeme said, though of course he was now dreadfully curious about the healer's past. Once Yazdyar had carefully raised Aleeme out of his lap and walked back to his room, Aleeme and Azriel quietly discussed what might have happened to the Ferelithian.
"We are fortunate," Aleeme said, leaning over to kiss Azriel deeply, keeping it a physical kiss of tongues and lips until Azriel's breath transformed it. When they pulled apart, Aleeme sensed Azriel's hesitation.
"What is it?" he asked as they got up from the floor and began to dress.
"Well, you love me, but you're remembering years of experiences with a former me that may never come back," Azriel said, halting every few words as though afraid to speak them aloud. "How can you stand it? Would you choose me— again? Even if Cal can't help me into myself to unlock the memories, if they're there? I feel like I'm full of gaping holes," he said miserably.
"Az, come here," Aleeme pleaded, enfolding him in a firm hug. "You're still you, still trusting and kind, you seem to adore me, and seeing you makes my heart speed up. Being with you feels like I've come home. We're scarred, and imperfect, and we went through separate hells."
He stroked Azriel's back as Azriel gently nuzzled against his neck. Aleeme closed his eyes, smelling the familiar, unique scent of his chesnari's warm skin. "We'll make new memories, together," he promised, nosing next to the sensitive curve of Azriel's ear. He'd had several piercings, before, but now the holes were empty; Aleeme decided he'd get him a few thin rings in Azriel's metal of choice before they left Ferelithia. Surely he would still take pleasure in being adorned.
"You were chosen for me for my feybraiha, but we selected each other of our own will after that. If those memories won't return, our first night back I'll tell them to you. Better yet, we can almost re-experience them," Aleeme said.
"Almost?" Azriel's voice was more playful now than despondent.
"Well, I could pretend to be inexperienced, I guess," Aleeme murmured.
"No, that's okay." Azriel leaned back, his face hauntingly beautiful, a complex architecture structured by the lineage of hara from whom he was descended. "Just choose me."
Yazdyar's tear-streaked face, bravely attempting a smile, haunted Aleeme, but he chanted the mantra that drummed in his heart: "You, Azriel. Again, and again, and again."
* * * * *
Immanion rose in front of the three hara. It was resplendent and shining, a luminous homage to harish sensibilities. Soaring towers thrust opalescent cries of triumph into the air. Banners waved; the city gleamed, every surface sending the message that the creatures inhabiting such an environment were superior, aesthetically obsessed, and a force to be reckoned with.
"At least it's not ostentatious or anything," Azriel deadpanned, and Yazdyar laughed, a full-bellied sound that made Aleeme smile.
"I guess Phaonica is the highest tower?" Aleeme asked.
"Oh yes. I thought I'd take you by the healing training centre, then go eat somewhere, then we can make our way walking up to the realm of the Tigrons and Tigrina and their staff of thousands."
"What about the sedim?" Azriel asked, letting the creature lead them into the city.
"There are different stables, including one near the training center. I want you to meet some of my colleagues, but you'll also both get a thorough evaluation by one of the senior healers."
"Physically I don't doubt I'll get a healthy assessment," Azriel said. "But the other aspects—"
"Will be what they will," Aleeme interrupted. He was sitting behind Azriel on Tassia, Vaysh's sedu. "I can see how your brother would fit in here well," he said to Yazdyar as they made their way to the outskirts of the city. The hara wandered through markets without haste; there were hara of many exotic colorings, clothes and other elements to their appearance that set them apart even from the diversity of Ferelithians. The Gelaming were easy to pick out, tall and regal-seeming, poised courtiers and stewards of this orderly realm.
"Teak does prefer living here to Ferelithia," Yazdyar agreed, letting his gaze sweep along the wide street lined with glossy foliage before turning to look at Aleeme. "I like it here too, really I do. But it can seem almost too efficient, too well mannered. And it's definitely political. I couldn't care less about prestige or being a sycophant to get closer to hara in places of power."
His last words held a hint of venom; more than ever Aleeme was curious as to what made him and Teak chafe, and if that was related to Yazdyar's cryptic statements about his past. Soon they were at the pristine, bustling entrance to the healing center. Aides came out to greet them, and after dismounting, Yazdyar gave one of the young residents instructions about the sedim.
"Well!" he enthused, waving at the door. "This is where I was transformed from a naïve young har who wanted to help his harbrethren to the jaded healer you see before you." His wide grin and sparkling eyes told the true tale.
"You're such a liar," Azriel said, smirking.
The rest of the day was a blur for Aleeme, though it also seemed to go at a snail's pace. He was anxious to meet Cal if possible, but primarily for Azriel to spend the evening with him since the Tigron had graciously carved out several hours to chat and work with Azriel, one on one. For his part, Aleeme had strange butterflies in his stomach about meeting this mysterious Vaysh person, the original Tigron's personal aide, and also at having several hours alone with Yazdyar. Aleeme continued to feel the occasional twinge of disloyalty when he thought of the healer, though the source of the ghostly jabs remained a mystery. Their aruna was first and foremost for healing; Yazdyar hadn't spoken or acted inappropriately.
You need to stop obsessing about his personal life, he chided himself as they walked up the vast wave of stairs that led to Phaonica.
"I've never seen anything like this," Azriel murmured in Aleeme's ear.
There were guards in bright pavonian garb much like Teak and Parallax's uniforms standing every dozen steps or so, though they were unarmed as best as Aleeme could tell. He didn't doubt that they listened in somewhat to hara's words, whether spoken or in thought, in order to protect the royal household.
"This environment seems like the near opposite to that of your hostling and father," Aleeme said to Yazdyar, who nodded.
"I think some hara rebel against their upbringing, but Teak is truly drawn to the intrigue here. He's very popular in Ferelithia, too," he said dryly, producing a scarlet envelope which he gave to the har who stood at the entry arch.
The har had a long face with olive skin, sensuous lips and elegant gestures like those of a dancer. After scanning the note, he gazed at the three with languid interest.
"Greetings, Yazdyar har Ferelith, Azriel har Parasiel and Aleeme har Sarestes. You are expected. Azriel, you are to come with me. I will take you to see the Tigron Calanthe. Healer Yazdyar, do please escort your charge to the fourth level courtyard and Vaysh will meet you there. I am told you know your way…" The har's eyebrow arched delicately, the action changing the statement to a question.
"I do. Thank you." Yazdyar placed his palm in the middle of Aleeme's back to steer him around the courtly sentinel, but Aleeme stepped over to Azriel.
"Don't rush or force anything," he said quietly, running his fingers through Azriel's thick hair. "Just trust him, and please tell him how grateful I am for what he did for me."
"He may be able to visit tomorrow," Azriel insisted as Aleeme clung to him for a moment. He felt unsettled and out of place, especially when unfamiliar, warm fingers light as moth's wings came to rest on his shoulder. Startled, Aleeme pulled away from Azriel. The sentry-har seemed to glow with benevolence and goodwill.
"All hara without hate in their hearts are welcome here," he said, his voice as smooth as rich cream. "Don't be of troubled spirit. The sun is warm, the air fragrant. Be at peace. No harm will come to this one you cherish."
His words seemed terribly formal to Aleeme, but he sensed the comfort behind them and some of the tension eased out of him.
"See you tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest," Azriel said, giving Aleeme a quick, firm kiss before looking expectantly at his escort.
"Please give my best to Calanthe as well," Yazdyar said, standing at Aleeme's side as the sentinel and Azriel walked down a marble corridor. Another har in similar plum robes took the first har's place and Yazdyar inclined his head in the direction of a curving staircase. Onyx statues of swans sat poised at its base, their heads turned toward each other. Aleeme kept his mouth shut until they'd arrived at a set of glass doors in the shape of wings. The doors were wide open, their crimson curtains pulled over to one side and held back with gold cording. Green shrubs that seemed to have been trimmed into shapes of animals came into view in the courtyard.
"This is unbelievable," Aleeme said hoarsely, looking at Yazdyar for grounding. "I mean, the Parasiels aren't exactly poor. They have staff, and gardens, an estate… Azriel's highfather was the autarch! I've gotten used to living pretty luxuriously. But this," Aleeme gestured feebly in an arc from the manicured gardens to the inlaid marble behind him. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, realizing he had nothing further he could say. Made mute by the scale of beauty and grandeur surrounding him, Aleeme walked slowly into the courtyard.
"It takes a little while to get used to," Yazdyar confided, draping his arm over Aleeme's shoulder.
Aleeme stood straight at first, then sagged against the healer, letting his head rest at the juncture of shoulder to neck.
"I assume I'm not interrupting anything," a reedy voice drawled behind them.
Aleeme spun around, his hands itching to straighten out his robes when he saw the har who must be Vaysh approach. He was captivatingly beautiful, but his body language was a loud chorus of 'keep your distance.' Frost practically radiated from him, so Aleeme was quite shocked when Yazdyar strode to Vaysh and took him in his arms for a tender embrace— which was returned. The healer then kissed him firmly on the mouth before turning to Aleeme.
"Vaysh, this is Aleeme har Sarestes."
"So it is. I've known of you, of course, through Pell's friendship with your hostling. Given what you went through in Fulminir, I must say that I'm pleased to be speaking with you now."
Vaysh was so matter-of-fact about Aleeme's lineage, as well as the torture he'd suffered that he was momentarily stunned into silence. He cleared his throat, and then said, "I'm pleased to be speaking at all."
Aleeme found Vaysh disquieted him; he couldn't help being captivated by his appearance, the porcelain skin, lurid hair the color of persimmon fruit, his soume side brought haughtily to the fore. A look into his grey eyes, though, and Aleeme saw the flashing knife blade. If Vaysh had loyalties, doubtless they were solid as granite, but Aleeme couldn't fathom how anyhar would be allowed close enough to be a confidante or friend. He was aloof, a beautiful flower that blooms in the dead of winter, yet he was almost cozy in his treatment of Yazdyar. Aleeme had never been around an individual so enigmatic, and it made him uncomfortable. He was consumed by a childish wish that Vaysh would be called away and Aleeme could lay in Yazdyar's lap, the healer playing with his hair.
"I trouble you," Vaysh bloviated. "It's written all over your face. Don't apologize, I do that to a lot of hara. It allows me to pick my friends carefully." A layer of ice melted; he pressed his lips together to refresh the gloss on them. "Come, let's go over to the gazebo. I'll have wine and some fruit brought to us."
He gracefully extricated himself from Yazdyar's hold, but stayed at his side while motioning to a path of rose-colored sand. It was just wide enough for the three to walk alongside one another, with Yazdyar in the middle. He reached for Aleeme's hand and held it. The gesture was such a natural, un-selfconscious act that Aleeme was able to relax somewhat.
"You're the personal aide to the Tigron? To Pellaz?" Aleeme clarified, having decided it was rude to not to appear interested in the high-ranking har.
"I am. We've been together in that capacity for many years, with only a few scars to tell the tale."
Aleeme heard the droll undercurrent in his voice, but the overwhelming energy he felt was that of rigid guardedness. The Tigron had visited Aleeme's parents in Roselane a lot when he was growing up. To be honest, Aleeme had had rather a crush on the dark-skinned har who sizzled with power and confidence. It was difficult for him to reconcile an image of Vaysh and him being emotionally close, much less Vaysh and the Ferelithian healer. As they entered the gazebo and sat in ornately carved chairs near a circular table, he blurted out, "How did you two get to be friends?"
Yazdyar glanced at Vaysh, who gazed fondly back at him. Degree by degree, Vaysh was thawing before his eyes. Aleeme could almost see the bond between them, a coruscated haze of familiarity.
"Vaysh was in the same tribe as my parents, and even knew my father before his feybraiha," Yazdyar recounted as a serving-har approached. He placed a tray with two bottles of wine, glasses, and a heaping plate of fruits and figs in front of them. After he'd poured each of them some wine, each har murmuring his thanks in turn, the serving-har left. Yazdyar lifted his glass, proposing a toast.
"To treasured companions, both long-standing and new."
Their glasses clinked brightly and they all drank. It was a crisp, tart wine; Aleeme took another sip, letting the flavor dance on his tongue before swallowing.
"Anyway," Vaysh continued, "I told you, Aleeme, about the pendant that I wear and that it came from Vaysh. He also kept an eye on me during my time at the institute, especially during an intense half-year of training in Phaonica."
"You make it sound as though I was spying on you," Vaysh said archly, leaning forward in his chair to select a strawberry which he nibbled on with even, white teeth. His sensuality was much more apparent now. While Aleeme wasn't drawn to him, it dawned on him that it was highly likely that he and Yazdyar had been rooning partners on occasion.
"I know you were busy with all sorts of other important activities to do with the Tigron and the rest of the royal household," Yazdyar said, merriment emblazoned on his face. "But I also don't doubt that the occasional letters I sent home weren't the only correspondence they got from Immanion."
"I'll never tell," Vaysh drawled, nudging the plate of fruit toward Aleeme. "Here, please help yourself. One of the advantages of being so close to the Tigron is getting the best of everything."
"Thank you."
Aleeme felt less awkward around Vaysh now, no doubt a combination of the wine and the fact that Vaysh had deemed Aleeme worthy of seeing behind the mask so apparent when he'd first arrived. Aleeme took a peach from the platter and a cloth napkin embroidered with a symbol of Immanion, two serpents twining around a sword. He bit into it and juice ran down his chin. The fruit was delicious, and he sucked at the furry skin where more juice threatened to spill before dabbing at the stickiness on his chin. He glanced up and saw Yazdyar watching him in rapt attention, his fingers gliding up and down the stem of his wineglass. If Azriel didn't return until late this evening or in the morning, Aleeme was certain there would be some aruna with his healer in his future. Just the thought of his made his soume-lam tremble slightly, as though taking a breath. Biting into the peach for another mouthful suddenly seemed like foreplay.
"So, Aleeme. You're part Colurastes, yes? It doesn't show that much, but then again, I've not met many from that tribe."
"I'm half Colurastes, half Sarock. Ulaume didn't teach me much about our clan, but my hair does sometimes have a mind of its own."
Vaysh nodded and leaned down to pull a footstool near him. He lounged back in his chaise so that the front vee in his robe opened a bit, showcasing prominent collarbones and a thin silk cord with a curvy piece of jade hanging from it. "What do you think of Immanion?" he asked, taking a deep swallow of wine. "It can be a bit much the first few times you visit."
Aleeme nodded vigorously. "The scale of things is just enormous," he said, turning the half-eaten peach in his fingers. "And it's so diverse. I thought that Ferelithia was colorful and exotic, but there's even more variety of tribes and cultures here."
"Well, it is essentially the capital for all of Wraeththu," Vaysh noted, "though there are still some tribes who prefer not to have anything to do with us. Pell would like to have harmony, and all tribes be at peace under our banner, but he has other things on his mind now that Cal has returned… again." He let out a labored sigh. "And— well, it's common knowledge, but you've been over in Megalithica until recently, Yazdyar. Has Teak told you the joyful news?"
Aleeme took the last bite of his peach and sucked on the pit, savoring every last bit of the sweet flesh. He was dying of curiosity since Vaysh's expression was anything but joyous.
"No. He's too busy talking about his own successes, or about the intrigues in the ranks of the army," Yazdyar said, rolling his eyes and pouring himself another glass of wine. "Thank Ag he seems to have settled down a bit with this har named Parallax, so now I don't have to hear about all of his rooning conquests."
"Parallax? I've not kept up with him. How interesting," Vaysh said under his breath, momentarily sidetracked.
"What about the Tigron?" Yazdyar probed.
Vaysh drummed the table lightly with his fingers. "He's with pearl."
"Really?" Yazdyar spluttered, but then his mouth split open with a grin. "That's wonderful! But wait— he was injured pretty seriously during that last attack. Physically he wasn't too badly off, but psychically and emotionally… is he really up for this? The timing could be better," he mused aloud.
"Yes, it could," Vaysh said, echoing his sentiments. "But there's nothing for it. Caeru's still dealing with his own loss, and the priest hara in the nayati around Immanion have reported an increase in hara praying for the safety of the Tigron and the unborn harling."
Aleeme's guard was down; he hadn't expected that the conversation would involve harlings and being with pearl. As clear as day, he heard the pitiful mewling cries of the harling he'd borne. With jarring recollection, he felt how he'd been so repulsed by its need for affection and warmth, even though the barest sliver of him wanted to care for the creature that had been housed in his body. Mostly, however, he'd shunned it, especially when Ponclast had forced him to be with pearl again mere days after he'd expelled the first one, when Aleeme was in a constant push and pull of wanting to live and wishing desperately to die.
"Oh Aleeme, come here," Yazdyar said urgently.
Aleeme shook his head, bringing himself back to the present, to the sun and succulent peaches and potent wine.
"Could you please pour me some more wine?" he said, his voice scratchy.
"I will, but I want you in my lap." Yazdyar was firm.
"I'm fine," Aleeme insisted, even as he realized his hands had balled into fists, bunching up his tunic. He prised his fingers open and placed his palms on the table.
"I don't know what I said to have so affected you, but it was unintentional," Vaysh said, leaning across the table to place his hand atop Aleeme's.
"It's okay." Aleeme looked up at him, surprised at the concern he saw in his eyes.
"No, it's not. And you're not," Yazdyar said, his tone verging on strident. "Vaysh, I hate to do this, but I think we should go. I need to do some healing work with Aleeme. We hadn't addressed this topic, and this is a safe place to bring it out in the open. It's time."
"Yazdyar," Aleeme growled. "I'm not a harling. You can't just yank me around."
"Through pelki you were forced to carry two pearls, and the first harling survived," Yazdyar said in a low, pained voice. "We don't have to deal with all of it at once, but it is my professional opinion that you let me engage in some healing rituals with you about this. Your reaction to Vaysh's comments was so immediate and so profound that I'm not going to let you pretend it didn't happen. Please, Aleeme."
Aleeme bit the inside of his cheek, but the tears came anyway, bitter and angry. "Fine. An exorcism it is, then. Vaysh, I'm sorry you're seeing me like this. I'm… I'm not the har I was," he choked out.
Vaysh eased up from his chair, walked around the table and pulled Aleeme out of his chair and into his surprisingly strong arms. "One day I'll tell you my story," he murmured into Aleeme's ear as Aleeme wept, unable to wrestle down the anguish that fought in him like a caged lion. "I was utterly broken and scoured out," he went on, carding his fingers through Aleeme's hair. "I'm not the har I used to be, either. We're more alike than you know. Now go with your healer. I would be worried and a terrible host if you didn't."
Aleeme managed to calm himself down enough to croak, "Okay," and allowed himself to be handed over to Yazdyar.
"Why don't you go to my rooms," Vaysh suggested. "I have a deep tub, you can both go soak in that as a part of any ritual you may decide on. I'll notify my staff so they're not surprised. You remember where my rooms are," he stated, and Yazdyar made an affirmative noise.
"Thank you, Vaysh. We'll go to one of the guest rooms in a couple of hours."
"Take your time," Vaysh said, sitting back down in his chaise. "I have a rare period of quiet and then I'm accompanying Pell to a dinner meeting with a newly-elected member of the Hegemony."
"Better you than me," Yazdyar said, shaking his head. "It was good to see you. I'll visit again soon."
"I hope so." Vaysh poured himself a small serving of wine. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Aleeme. You're perhaps stronger than you know."
"Thank you." Aleeme's emotions were no longer galloping out of control and he managed a serviceable bow, placing his hand over his heart. "It's been a privilege."
[scene continues on but was too large for an lj-cut]
Continue to part four