New fic: "Wax and Stardust," Remus/Sirius, adult

[thrihyrne]

wolfiekins' fic archive, Wolf Moon, had its first-ever challenge this month, the appropriately-themed Wolf Moon challenge. January is traditionally the wolf moon, in case you didn't know. Others include the strawberry moon, slug (?!) moon, hunter's, beaver, and all kinds of others. With that as a prompt, I went back to my slash roots. Hope you enjoy! If you're not into my adult fic, please skip right on over this.

Title: Wax and Stardust
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: @4,000
Betas: snottygrrl, honor74 and cim_halfling. Thank you so much!!
Genre: PWP-ish, first time
Warnings: drug use, author being somewhat poetic in her prose style
Summary: The moon isn't the only thing that summons Remus' inner wolf.


Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish…

Childhood songs and poems tended to burble up into Remus' consciousness when he smoked pot.

Remus took another deep drag on the paper held between his lips. Eyes unblinking, he gazed at the betrayal of the silk-lit night sky with both affection and loathing. It was nearly ready to possess him, that luminous shape-shifter that would never in his lifetime give him any respite. Tomorrow night he'd be in the Shack, broken and reknit, alone perhaps to howl and pace and make more marks on his already marred flesh. In the more maudlin recesses of sleeplessness, he taunted himself; he imagined offering himself up to the burning, blue eyes of the one person whose body he wanted to claim. Remus surely would be shunned and left to lick his wounds, the beastly instincts never fully leaving him.

The stars tonight were beautiful, regardless of his melancholy mood. He sucked in again on the joint, relishing the heated burn in his lungs before pushing out the smoke with a slow hiss. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he was quite the student in Astronomy, better even than the obviously troubled prick known as Severus Snape. As Remus mentally charted the cavorting figures in the heavens, moving at their own treacle speed, he smiled at the remembrance of Snape's scowl when the results of their most recent — and unexpected — quiz had been handed back. Snape had received an O, of course, but given Remus' in-depth answers and knowledge, Sinistra had given him an O+.

Remus pulled his thin robes closer around him and leaned into the frigid stone of the open windowsill, the better to regard the violently vivid orb above him. Its bright light transformed the Hogwarts grounds into a montage of grey and silver, moonshadow and inverted dusk. His breath hung in the air in front of him when he exhaled, tendrils of heat joined tenaciously together before the crisp cold claimed them.

Another deep inhale. Remus didn't feel quite so angry at the world anymore.

I wish I may, I wish I might…

Wishing was for people who weren't willing to do anything about their desires, or felt they couldn't. Remus had been wishing for months now, despising himself for not acting, not using even a sliver of the feral power that pulsed just underneath his carefully constructed, tame exterior. Maybe this was his moment, however. Recently he'd been working on some extra credit research on a project for Astronomy, delving through a Muggle book on moon-centric crop-growing that Madam Pince had been forced to retrieve through some convoluted inter-library loan process. In it he discovered that Muggles had particular names for the full moon each month. That made him curious, so he dug deeper and found that Wizards had done the same, though the moon names had to do with magic-specific herbs and animals for the most part. One creature loomed large enough in both worlds to own the full moon in January, the Wolf Moon. It was his moon tomorrow. His time, quite possibly, to let Sirius know—

"Thought I might find you up here." A low, suede voice sounded behind him, causing a frisson of desire to course from Remus' ear to his groin. It was only that he'd smoked two-thirds of the tampered cannabis that he hadn't jumped out of his skin at Sirius' sudden and warm proximity. "Didn't you say you couldn't get any more of that stuff at home?"

"I can't," Remus replied, turning around slowly as his best friend emerged from underneath James' invisibility cloak. Sirius was achingly disheveled, his inky hair pulled back, tie loosed and pulled off to the side and shirt unbuttoned to reveal the beckoning divot at the base of his throat. "Got this from Wyndleswyft," he said, passing the joint to Sirius who took it, a roguish grin meandering onto his mouth.

"Who?" Sirius asked before inhaling purposefully.

"Maddox Wyndleswyft," Remus said, taking back the joint and admiring the angles of Sirius' form. "Ravenclaw. Grows it himself."

No matter what his attire, every article of clothing that Sirius put on looked as though it wanted to cling to him; to his hips, to the skin above his prominent wrists, or fluttering close around his ankles. Remus had been smitten for some time, grateful for the modesty their winter robes afforded him when thinking about how Sirius looked when he'd glanced at him in the shower. When feeling brazen, Remus resolved to get permission to map and traverse with his tongue and teeth Sirius' black y-shape of hair, the implied 'yes' that led down to his navel and beyond to his most masculine realm. Remus would be both tender and unforgiving, taking the steely shaft, licking and sucking until he could at last taste Sirius' primal essence, no matter how bitter. The thought made his own cock stiffen and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Does he?" Sirius asked with an arched eyebrow, respect settling on his features. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Just sounds like a Gryffindor thing to do, or Slytherin."

"He's quite clever," Remus said before taking another deep inhale. The pot was nearly gone and Sirius was there, so close. They were nearly breathing the same air. "And astonishingly discreet. Last drag?"

Sirius nodded, closing his eyes in contentment as he sucked in the last of the burning leaves. He dropped it to the side to the stone floor, grinding the faint red spark under his foot. Captivated by the curve of Sirius' arse as he bent over to retrieve it, Remus became acutely aware of his own cock, hot and heavy, trapped in his wool trousers. Sirius moved to stand right in front of him, elegantly flicking the joint over the windowsill.

"Sirius," Remus breathed as Sirius' gaze flickered over to him, intrigue rather than mischief in those cerulean depths. The moon's pull and Remus' own desire asserted their power over him and the world canted as the years' old mantra fell from his lips: "Siriusiriusirius…"

Remus had pushed Sirius against the wall of the nearby alcove and mashed his lips against Sirius' before he even realised what he'd done. He swallowed Sirius' gasp of surprise or fear or disgust or whatever it was, his seventeen-years' existence converging into a solitary, physical locus that was the unmistakable sensation of Sirius' tongue pushing aggressively against his lips. With a ragged moan, Remus opened his mouth to loose the floodgates of Sirius' passion. Sirius kissed him ferociously, his tongue sparring with Remus'. Remus tasted the flavour of Sirius' mouth, the sweet tea and ginger crisps an echo from their evening's dinner. He leaned into Sirius, rubbing their bony groins together. The undeniable evidence that Sirius wanted this, wanted him, was deliciously evident in the friction of Sirius' own arousal as he rutted into Remus' hip. Sirius' hands were everywhere: tangled in Remus' hair, slithering underneath his robes to slide to his backside, clutching for purchase at Remus' arse. Sirius nipped and sucked at Remus' lips and Remus kissed back with increased fervour, lust shivering through him like the first lick of ice cream on a summer day.

With a strangled groan, Remus pulled back. "Are you okay?" he asked before his brain caught up with the odd words tumbling from his mouth. Sirius leaned his head back, his kiss-bruised lips glistening in the moonlight, fringe overhanging his hooded eyes. He breathed open-mouthed, a prurient smile blooming onto his lips before he licked them, the pink tongue and its slick path enslaving Remus' focus.

"Don't I feel okay?" Sirius asked suggestively before pulling Remus as close as he could, their pelvises fitted together as snug as joined puzzle pieces. He turned his head so he could speak low into Remus' ear. "You could've said something before now, y'know," Sirius went on, his voice husky and full of promise, the words scraped against Remus' evening stubble. "Being best mates and all that."

Remus' heartbeat was a low roil of thunder, steady and dangerous. "I reckon I knew you fancied blokes," Remus murmured, his hands clasped behind Sirius' waist. Eyes closed, he inhaled deeply of the lingering sandalwood scent of Sirius' shampoo, nosing into his scalp as though he were in his wolf form, nudging at Padfoot. "But never thought you'd think of me like that. You're too perfect, too beautiful for me." The honesty stumbled out of him, liberated by the drugs that had settled mellowly into his marrow.

"Too beautiful," Sirius snorted before mouthing at the sensitive skin of Remus' earlobe. "I s'pose you don't see it, but you've become quite the looker, Remus. Makes studying or eating or sleeping pretty bloody difficult when you insist on being both sexy and oblivious. Besides, you're a Prefect now. I didn't exactly think you'd want me making you late for your rounds because we'd decided to shag each other senseless."

All that mattered on Merlin's green earth passed through the alembic of those four words: we'd decided to shag. Remus pulled back to be able to see Sirius' face, looking for even a shadow of the prankster in his expression, but there was none.

"You want me." Remus had meant it as a question, but a statement fell from his lips instead.

"Should be obvious," Sirius said with a smirk, pressing his arousal into Remus'.

"But you've never—"

"You keep a lot of secrets, Moony." Sirius was all seriousness now; Remus practically felt the shift in disposition. "I can read you pretty well; I've spent a lot of years watching you, getting comfortable with your habits and moods and all that. But when it comes to things you really want, or the things that bother you so much you sit there reading the same pages, over and over again, never looking up, or picking at your nails until they bleed, those things I can't even guess at. And you never tell me."

Remus stared at him, his passion having subsided to a more tolerable throbbing, tempered by Sirius' rare delving into a discussion about their actual relationship. They didn't chat about things like that; they simply were. He and Sirius and James and Peter, a four-part algorithm to anything that could happen at Hogwarts. But this— this was different; this was just the two of them, pack and packmates. Remus accepted the profound, irrevocable change he'd spurred into motion, somehow knowing that there would be no turning back. With two words, he sealed the unspoken pact.

"I will," he whispered.

"Good." Sirius massaged his fingers into the underside of Remus' arsecheeks, reminding Remus of just how desperately he wanted to be naked with Sirius, somewhere. Anywhere. Immediately.

"Let's get out of the tower and go to that funny room," Sirius suggested, nipping at Remus' lips while Remus tried to capture Sirius in a proper kiss. "Remember the one we found after I had that fight with Snivellus? It had that punching bag in it. Maybe it'll have something else we can use this time. Anything's better than up here, it's too bloody cold."

"But you taste good now," Remus insisted, the erotic thrumming in his veins escalating the longer he stood plastered against Sirius, despite being fully clothed.

"I'll make it up to you," Sirius promised with a last squeeze to Remus' bum and a sound kiss on the lips. "Let me glance at the Map."

Moments later they were verging on running as they used well-known secretive routes to get to the mysterious room they'd found once before. With practised ease they furtively took corridors and stairways, their passage as undetectable as a trail of stardust. Remus simply wasn't capable of keeping his hands off of Sirius, even pausing to pull him into an empty classroom for a frantic snog just to reassure himself that this was real. Remus moulded his lips onto Sirius', already in withdrawal of the warm tang of his best friend's mouth.

Too soon, Sirius drew away, panting. "C'mon, we're nearly there," he said, tugging on Remus' belt. At last Sirius paced in front of the spot where he swore the room should be when suddenly the door of the strange room appeared. Having used the last of his caution to get there, Remus immediately opened the door. He stared into the room, remarkably transformed from their first visit.

"Wonder why it looks just like our dorm room," Sirius said, giving Remus a gentle nudge so he could enter, shutting the door behind them.

"Don't know." Remus was just as puzzled, but there was a warm fire and a bed that looked like his though twice as large, and a thicket of candles suspended in the air around the bed curtains. Everything that they needed was there and that was all that mattered. That and a locking charm. "As long as it doesn't suddenly change into something else, we'll be fine. More than fine," he said, turning around to gauge Sirius' reaction.

"I'll say." The lustful expression was back on Sirius' face, but Remus thought he sensed a flicker of hesitancy in his eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Remus asked, draping his arms over Sirius' shoulders. "I want you, Merlin only knows how much, but I'm not the most experienced bloke around. And you know I'm not exactly… flawless." He paused, wishing that the pot had been stronger; it was as though he'd not had any at all. The drive and desire to know every bit of Sirius' naked body still coursed through him, and his stomach seemed to quiver when he realized how close to doing just that he was. The reality that he, too, would be nude and exposed, and not just after his transformation when Sirius sometimes cared for him in a brotherly fashion, was unnerving.

"More than anything," Sirius said in a voice that slid over Remus like buttery leather.

No invitation had ever sounded so enticing. "Guess we should get undressed, then."

"It would make things a bit easier," Sirius said, cupping Remus' arousal and running his tongue under his front teeth.

"Not fair," Remus rumbled into Sirius' temple, kissing the pulse point as he pressed into Sirius' hand. "I'll never get my clothes off if you keep doing things like that."

Sirius let out a frustrated huff but shambled off to the side and began to disrobe. Remus was reassured to see Sirius fumbling as he unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it on top of the invisibility cloak in the seat of a maroon chair situated near the wall. Remus was similarly nervous as he shrugged off his robes. He pulled his jumper and t-shirt over his head, dropping them to the floor before toeing off his shoes and removing the rest of his clothes. Despite having seen Sirius in every state imaginable, Remus still felt as though a small flock of snitches had nested in his belly. He watched Sirius crawl up on the bed, the black hair on his arms and legs catching the light from the tapers as they bobbed like languid sentries. Sirius was all lean muscle and sensual grace, and Remus was suddenly reminded of an illustration of a panther he'd seen in a book years ago. Remus breathed deeply of the thick scent of wax and anticipation that hung in the air, its potency far exceeding any drug he'd ever tried.

"Stop staring and join me," Sirius said with a smirk, sliding under the covers and pulling them down as he made a space for Remus. Remus was happy to oblige, settling into the silky sheets, drawn inexorably to Sirius' body like a magnet.

A thousand thoughts and snatched wisps of fantasies cavorted through Remus' head until he anchored himself at Sirius' mouth. The kiss was slow and wet, and tasted of long-awaited bliss. Remus rolled on his back, bringing Sirius with him, their legs entangled. Sirius made agitated, moaning sounds as their cocks pressed together. Practically growling, Remus echoed him at the unbearable exquisite friction, his hands clamped on Sirius' arse as he jerked against Remus' pelvis. With a last smacking sound, Remus forced himself away from Sirius' lips so he could explore the rest of him, ignoring the very faint irritating voice in his head that told him he didn't have all night. He tumbled them over again, pinning Sirius' arms beside his head and slowly, so slowly ground their erections together, awestruck by the burning gaze Sirius directed at him.

"You feel so fucking good," Sirius said reverently, arching his torso up from the bed.

Remus had no choice but to claim the tight nipples in their circles of fine hair, laving at them and rolling them one after the other between his teeth as Sirius whimpered and writhed. He kissed his way down the ribbed skin until he could lap his tongue in the indecent dimple of belly button. He kneet between Sirius' thighs, his nose burrowing in the wiry black hair. Remus took a deep breath of musk and sweat, idly noticing that Sirius's legs were splayed wide open like moth wings. Sirius' prick jutted tantalysingly in front of him, proud and slightly curved like Sirius himself, slouching as he often did. Remus had never done this with anyone, though he'd wanked to the thought on countless nights. He'd also spent a goodly amount of time looking at the few issues of Bent that he'd bought once he'd reconciled himself to the fact that he only fancied blokes, watching one dark-haired pair in particular as one sucked the other off.

Sirius' cock jerked slightly and Remus smiled. He licked up the underside of the tender skin, swirling his tongue around the top of the exposed head and savouring the few drops of liquid there. Looking up, he saw Sirius was grasping at the sheets, his eyes closed, biting down on his lower lip. Remus opened his mouth and took as much of Sirius as he could, reveling in Sirius' exclamation as his cock hit the top of his mouth. It was brilliant. Sirius was salty and steelsoft; Remus listened to Sirius' hiccoughing moans and "oh, fuck, yes"es that poured down on his ears as he figured out a kind of pattern to his sucking and licking. He couldn't help but take himself in hand as his own cock ached in its need to be touched. When Sirius' litany suddenly became "Moony, gods, oh, oh, oh," in a reedy whine, Remus knew he was about to come, though it seemed so soon. The blood roared in Remus' ears and prickling heat coiled in his own balls, his release dancing on the periphery as he slurped and nuzzled until Sirius shouted and Remus' mouth was filled with salty liquid. He tried swallowing and got some down before he coughed, but kept his lips around Sirius' pulsing shaft. A stray tear edged out of his closed eyes as he released Sirius' spent cock, rubbing his shoulder at the rogue damp on his cheek.

He sat up, erection still in hand, astonished at the sated, relaxed look on Sirius' face. Even in sleep, Remus had never seen Sirius look so untroubled. Sirius opened his eyes, his expression one of gratitude and adoration that seared itself onto Remus' soul.

"You're amazing," Sirius breathed, gazing full-on into Remus's eyes until the slight motion of Remus' hand around his prick appeared to capture his attention. "Can I help?" he asked, raising up on an elbow and looking hungrily back at Remus' face. "Want you up here, by me when you come," he said, his voice uncharacteristically raspy. "Want to see how you look. I've imagined it for ages."

"Pads," Remus moaned, crawling up and devouring Sirius' mouth with a deep kiss as he stretched out alongside Sirius' prone form. With the first deft touches of Sirius' fingers, Remus' orgasm wrenched out of him, ecstasy pounding in his chest and his release fountaining over Sirius' hand. As he caught his breath, he realised he didn't feel at all embarrassed, even though he'd not lasted long at all. He felt an aftershock of lust when Sirius gave him a languorous, impish smile, bringing his fingers to his lips to lick at the fluid on them, evidently wanting to know how Remus tasted.

"Sirius," Remus said longingly, leaning over to kiss him. Sirius sent his tongue into Remus' mouth, the flavour of his own semen and Sirius commingling in an unexpected, intimate gesture. After a few moments, Sirius moved to kiss across Remus' jaw and down his neck, eventually nuzzling under Remus' ear as he put his arm around him.

"'M tired," he murmured, idly drawing small circles on Remus' back. "What time is it?"

Remus cocked his head at the bedside table, unsurprised to see a clock there that he was nearly certain hadn't been there when they first arrived. "Not quite midnight."

"Hmmmph."

Remus pulled Sirius close to him, relishing the glorious warmth and soft press of lightly furred chest next to his. "We should go back," he said regretfully. "Peter and James'll be asleep, I'm pretty sure, but I don't want them to get suspicious."

There was a silence, but Remus could tell that Sirius was thinking about something. He adjusted the covers over them and rubbed his foot against Sirius', newly aware of how long and elegant his toes were.

"Are we going to tell them?" Sirius asked into Remus' collarbone before rubbing the crown of his head under Remus' jaw. "Now that I know what this is like, how you feel, I mean, physically, but also how you feel about me, it's all changed. They'll know. Well, Peter probably will. James' mind is definitely on other things these days."

"I'm sure James isn't using his mind when he thinks about Lily."

A subdued laugh resonated against Remus' throat and he smiled, wriggling his toes against the arch of Sirius' foot.

"No, I reckon he's not. Look," Sirius said, easing up to prop himself on his elbow, "I want this. I want more, all of you, in all kinds of ways."

The intensity of Sirius' words set Remus' imagination aflame. Remus had seen enough in his magazines and his own vivid mind's eye to bring several scenarios immediately to mind. "I do, too. But I'm guessing you think what I do— they probably won't understand. We'll have to be…" his voice trailed off. He didn't want to be secretive, but whatever this fathomless bond was, he really didn't want it to be the subject of scrutiny, even by his other best friends.

"Discreet," Sirius suggested.

"Exactly."

"I'm still going to spend the night in your bed."

Remus stared at him. "You're what?"

"Going to sleep next to you." Sirius' declaration brokered no refusal. "I'll cast a silencing spell and you can set a tempus so I get up early enough to switch beds before they wake up."

"Have you gone around the twist? That's not discreet!" Remus insisted, though the idea of drifting off to the sound of Sirius' steady breathing now seemed the most natural situation in the world.

"Sure it is. You want it too, I can tell," Sirius smirked before his mouth broke open into a wide yawn. "We belong together," he said tiredly, "especially after tonight. We'll be careful, but after what we just did, I'm not going to go to our room and lie in my cold bed, knowing you're alone in your bed next to mine. It's settled. Let's go before Filch starts his rounds."

With a sigh of acquiescence, Remus kissed the top of Sirius' head. "All right. Don't forget the cloak." The inside fabric of the invisibility cloak seemed to blend in impossibly well with its surroundings, and Sirius had almost left it at the Shrieking Shack a couple of times when he'd gone alone to keep Remus company during his transformation.

"Full moon's tomorrow," Sirius observed a few minutes later once they were dressed. They paused at the door, about to make their careful way back to Gryffindor tower. "I'll go with you, or Pads will, anyway."

"The Wolf moon," Remus said thoughtfully, brushing his lips over Sirius' and rubbing noses as he suspected he did in his wolf form. His wolfish memories were always vague and disjointed, but he knew that of the three anigami who sometimes joined him, his wolf preferred Padfoot's company the most.

"The what?" Sirius asked before he kissed back more insistently, drawing Remus' lower lip into his mouth.

Remus reluctantly pulled away, earning a disappointed noise from Sirius. He consoled himself that they could pick up where they left off once safely enclosed behind the curtains of his bed, at least until they fell asleep. He suspected that wouldn't be long.

"My moon," Remus said as he opened the door. The chilled air of the corridor gave him goose bumps underneath his robes.

"My Moony," Sirius replied quietly, squeezing Remus' hand before leading the way through the flickering shadows.

Remus pressed the back of the warmed fingers to his lips before hastening to follow.

.:~:.