I understand in a small way...I remember how frustrated I felt when my application for a job where I'd been a practicum student, a place I longed to return to, where they had the PERFECT opening for a CLINICAL LIBRARIAN, which was my main specialty...rejected me with a form letter that they hadn't even bothered to sign. No interview, nothing. I've also had jobs that I really wanted and got much further along in the process with fall through too. And I understand it is so very painful when you are trying so darned HARD to do everything RIGHT and make your life work, and you've worked so hard and are still working so hard, and...then...THIS. Like a gut-punch. And I'm so sorry you're going through this.
But I want to say how very proud I am of you for committing to Antabuse-fueled recovery on your terms, being alcohol free. I know this is so hard for you. But know that you are doing the Right Thing, for yourself and for those you love, like Evan. I was so, so proud to read of you making that decision. And I am so very glad you will be returning home, which should be something you read as a HUGE carrot put in your hands. :) This is something you are helping make happen with your commitment, something you can be really proud of.
The people who won't be able to pass you by are out there. :) It just may take a little bit to find them, that's all. <3
*hugs* It's okee to be disappointed. Just don't let it win by driving you back toward alcohol. B/c that's what the alcohol wants, and it's not driving this bus, YOU are. :) And you are strong enough to do this. And needing help from Antabuse is not a sign of weakness...the fact that you KNOW you need the help is a sign of STRENGTH. :)
I'm praying for you, sweetpea. Hang in there. <3 I love you. (And PS - if you can't read my entries here, let me know. I granted you access and subscribed to yours, so we should be all good now.) *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*
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But I want to say how very proud I am of you for committing to Antabuse-fueled recovery on your terms, being alcohol free. I know this is so hard for you. But know that you are doing the Right Thing, for yourself and for those you love, like Evan. I was so, so proud to read of you making that decision. And I am so very glad you will be returning home, which should be something you read as a HUGE carrot put in your hands. :) This is something you are helping make happen with your commitment, something you can be really proud of.
The people who won't be able to pass you by are out there. :) It just may take a little bit to find them, that's all. <3
*hugs* It's okee to be disappointed. Just don't let it win by driving you back toward alcohol. B/c that's what the alcohol wants, and it's not driving this bus, YOU are. :) And you are strong enough to do this. And needing help from Antabuse is not a sign of weakness...the fact that you KNOW you need the help is a sign of STRENGTH. :)
I'm praying for you, sweetpea. Hang in there. <3 I love you. (And PS - if you can't read my entries here, let me know. I granted you access and subscribed to yours, so we should be all good now.) *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*