I am a voyeur. I think of slashing as a very passive way of being sexual. Sex at several removes. Not only am I not actually having sex, I don't feel any good or bad or indifferent identification with a female character. I feel let off the hook in some way.

I enjoy m/m pairings where one character has more power than the other. I don't enjoy m/f pairings where one character has more power, particularly if the more passive character is female. I can't help but identify with the female character and since it's so far from what I want in my own life right now I just get annoyed.

I also think of slashing as a very safe way of having sex as well. Not only is it fantasy but it's safe fantasy. I'm not fantasizing about my best friend's husband and possibly endangering my relationship with her, her husband or my husband.