I love the creative touches that strikes me as right and yet unpredictable: the way Vaysh can sometimes see what Thiede does and so that in a way he participates in Pell's inception and a threesome that results in a harling. How cruel for poor Vaysh. And yet if he really did help in the conception, he might take some comfort there, but he doesn't.
I am enjoying your language so much - the smooth sound of the words - low-key and luminous. Here's a selection of my faves this time around:
"As the planet turned and spring opened her radiant eyes"
"I'll be the ocean of lights, and you the comet, diving into me."
"The thorns of memory wrapped around my heart and I bled myrrh, the sepulchre of my barren hollow annointed with spices for the dead." [that is just stunning]
"felt sturdy and solid and dead. I was a hewn tree, the rings all there to be seen, my tale to be told"
"I thought I saw my memories like bright fish swimming under a protective layer of ice."
"I might be a martyr, but I had decided to take my sackcloth and ashes far away."
clean scent
"My sleeping tiger of melancholy had been sweetly roused at the first touch of Yazdyar's impossibly soft skin."
"Thiede's beyond love or hate; don't waste your energy on it." [I really like this understanding on Vaysh's part, so cynical and perceptive. Beyond love or hate, that is Thiede.]
"I went to Temple Radiant and danced until the sweat poured off of me" [believable response]
I'm glad you're writing fast. *g*