I've always thought that Pell's death was a bit... banal. Okay, it haunted Cal for years, and you can understand why, but as a reader, there isn't really much drama. Vaysh's death as you've written it here is very much more visceral, and you can understand why Ashmael would remember it so vividly years later - the details, the smell of the blood and the horror and everything.

We need more writers! (ie, I need my fix of new Wraeththu material! ;-) And being "new" to a community doesn't make you any less a valid member!