Loved your description of Jaffa's going through feybraiha. I always thought Storm's description of Swift's changes were brilliant - she so clearly remembered the worst aspects of being a teenager. But I have a question about it. I assumed that only pure-born Wraeththu go through feybraiha - that if you were incepted, the transformation was the equivalent of a speeded-up feybraiha, (but more violent because it is also actually rearranging organs) and that aruna "fixed" the transformation in either case. It seems they always choose teenage boys for inception and I figured there was a reason for that. What do you think?

I liked Ashmael and Vaysh remembering their human names. I have thought it curious that none of Storm's characters seem to think about their pre-har existence. Certainly Cal should have at some point in his long mental monologues. It's almost as if that part of their lives burns away completely and the memory is traumatic in some way. Pell remembers some of his early life, but then we are introduced to him before he changes. I very much like your exploration of all these questions raised by Storm's creation.

Also a small touch I've noticed that I like - Vaysh playing with his braid, tossing it over his shoulder or bringing it forward. It's a characteristic action that helps me see him.

Did you make up vralsfire? It sounded just right.

Since I like it when people point out to me a line that they particularly liked, I try to do the same for others.
"I hated the smell of our camp right then;"
"There was shock ringing in the air as clearly as the tolls on the brass bell . . ."
Vivid sensual descriptions.

I'm also enjoying your Ashmael's voice and getting inside his feelings. First person is always a good choice for that, especially if you take time to investigate what the person is thinking.

I look forward reading more later. Gotta get back to my own stuff.
Cheers,