thrihyrne: (Oregon lover)
Thanks to those who read and/or commented on my recent post. I'm in a much better place emotionally and physically, focusing rather than on going somewhere else, to much more effectively and aggressively use the local resources I have. This includes finding a private practice psychiatrist whom I don't have to wait 8 weeks to see and doesn't have a limit of number of visits per year, and moving all medication management in that direction. I'm now much more willing to try some mood stabilizers outside of the SSRI spectrum that I don't feel have worked much or at all, and to find someone willing to work with me in terms of the Sinclair method. Support me in it, not just tolerate it or look down on it. Taking action steps like that feel incredibly empowering. And if there are other mood and hormonal issues due to my age, I'll just find out what I can and assume that it's a factor as well in all of this. I know my patterns very well, and while I can't remove all of the stressors and expected emotional ups and downs that come with being my age (and my parents being their ages), I can use all of the resources I have and commit to finding a way not to let the emotional and psychological fluctuations become so polarized and, at times, dangerous.

Adulting is certainly hard sometimes, but I'm incredibly fortunate in having such a tremendously supportive and understanding life partner, friends, family and even colleagues.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
Had a long but very meaningful and social day yesterday. There was intense work (as in, Airbnb work), and going on a currently secret afternoon excursion that involved cleaning and tidying, laundry, and spending much-appreciated time with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols's mother, Gwen, and then coming home and then going to a scumptiously social cookout at [personal profile] sanguinity and [personal profile] grrlpup's house and seeing the Maki family as well. Sang is an accomplished griller, and H. made amazing potato salad (I still need to get that recipe!) and meeting Nicole's young men in person was a delightful experience that I'll admit I didn't expect to feel to that level. I'm not much into other people's offspring in general (even my own siblings' children), and I haven't been around teenagers in… years?? Anyway, they were articulate, not-posing, independent souls and their genuine affection for each other and their parents was actually mind-blowing the more I think about it. Yay for a family unit that's healthy and respects everyone's individuality, and is effusive in affection.

As the years have gone on, I've recognized within myself (and also Sang has pointed out to me) that I don't really care about the pyrotechnics of fireworks and the sparkler bomb. It's true. I get nothing out of it. So this year, I enjoyed the food and companionship and conversation and social part of the evening and then came home to get in a run that I'd intended to have first thing Friday morning— except that I'd neglected to turn on my morning alarm at all so I overslept my ability to run before work. Oooops. I had a great run and then futzed around the internet looking at fun purple/wild orchid/lavender/magenta hair colors until it was time to go pick Evan back from the night's festivities. I was treated to bonus social time as everyone was still there! There was also ginger and caramel ice cream. NOMNOMNOM. And a second round of hugs, which was really wonderful to top it all off.

Today?
BLISS ON A STICK. A DAY AT HOME WITH EVAN DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IF I DON'T WISH IT.
Even Mod Physique was cancelled so Jessa could have a holiday weekend, so I truly have nothing on my calendar. There are only a few things I plan to accomplish:
~ giving [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12 a call
~ finishing my Reggie/Kelp story (only 1.5 scenes to go! then Grand Editing will commence)
~ doing a half hour or so of my favorite Mod Physique toning moves but no cardio today

and the usual of enjoying Evan's company and playing a helluva lot of Facebook games. :D
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
One of the very positive effects after my last trip to SF was that I took advantage of my work's Employee Assistance Program. They referred me to a therapist who has turned out to have been the only one in the last seven years to really help me get to the bottom of my inexplicable decisions. It's primarily anger based, but is also triggered due to anxiety/stress, feeling trapped and/or constantly monitored, and being defensive. Mostly anger, which wasn't really expressed in my family of origin, and thusly I've never known how to deal with it when it happens around me, and I've been mostly clueless when I've been feeling it myself. Hindsight for this major revelation has been profound, seeing most of my self-sabotage and fast-sinking spirals through a lens recognizing that I was usually livid, but either didn't or couldn't recognize it for what it was. So I drank it down, as that had become my go-to method for coping. There are doubtless healthier ways, and I'm actively exploring those. Given the erratic, chaotic and non-empowering environment I'm in thanks to my employer, doubtless I'll have many opportunities in the future to figure out ways to experience these feelings and cope in ways that don't end up with me in a stupor.

This is all very positive— perhaps even overwhelming in how empowered I've felt about this for really the first time. It also means that I'm going to be holding myself to a very high standard of self-honesty. That, in and of itself, is somewhat anxiety-generating, but if I look back at what I've gone through since 2005, being honest with myself could seem like a proverbial walk through the park. Certainly the toll should be less. As I was driving home from my second session with my new therapist, Lily, I came up with the idea to keep a small notebook with me (which I already do) and to check in with myself regularly and get out of my head and really try to figure out what I'm feeling. This is easier to do during my workdays as I have regularly scheduled breaks, but it's becoming easier to do all the time. I've used my head as a 'safe' retreat for years now, and becoming more in tune with what I'm feeling, even if I think I'm feeling neutral or uninvolved or whatever, has been an empowering exercise. I'm very often grateful, and content, and feel safe. There's also a lot of feeling listless and uninspired, depending on the time of day and what I'm doing. But this past Saturday morning, driving home after my workout, I realized I felt triumphant and unstoppable— not something I'd want to experience all the time, but I was grateful to be able to recognize it within myself.

I can pretty much definitively say that my Years of Suck are over. 2014 may be the year of all the feelings. :)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
It's early (5:25) but a common time to be awake for me on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays when my work schedule and Evan's are in sync. I'm taking 2 days of PTO this weekend, which means this is our first 3 days together without working some of it since last October. WOOT! And I need it. I'm on the threshold of a work-free weekend (we're using 'koala' as a sort of reminder word if I find myself talking about work, and I absolutely will not even log in to see how many emails I may have), and it's much needed. :P

Yesterday was an absolutely delightful usual day off. It was unexpected in that I had company! [livejournal.com profile] evannichols was home because he'd come home sick midday Tuesday, and was still not feeling well yesterday. I took the opportunity to sleep in as much as my body needed, which was a lot: didn't wake up for a final time until 9:30. So no ballet, but I was certainly rested. I enjoyed a leisurely morning, including writing a letter to Evan's mom, then ran a couple of errands with Evan before leaving him at the apartment to rest while I went out and did my own things. First on the list was a truly lovely hour visit at my former residence on 79th. I met up with Gail and Robin, had tea, shared some of my knitting projects, and just enjoyed their company and seeing Cooper, the boxer [dog] again. What made me particularly happy about that whole scenario is that they are the first people since my Years of Struggle (approx 2005-12) whose residence I've left as a tenant under positive circumstances. They have enthusiastic roses in their side yard, and Gail sent me home with a stunning bouquet of a dozen, which are gracing a table now.

Other adventures included going to Value Village in search of sandals. Instead, I bought a pair of flip-flops (o_O), and a unique pair of side-zip quasi-dress shoes in a kind of rich grey. They need a lot of love, and some thoughtfully-chosen shoelaces, but I bought then for $5.99 and 20% off. I've decided to invest up to $40 in them to bring them back to life, and I'm oddly attached to them already. I rounded out the day with a wonderfully long phone call with Jen in Eugene, then a few episodes of season 3 Project Runway Evan and I are watching (my second go-round, his first) before going to bed. All in all, just a splendid, enchantment-filled day. And it was overcast/some rain, the perfect Portland day for me. :)

So today is work, and then 3½ days off as my Monday schedule is 1-10. We're trying to keep much of our time unstructured and free for spontaneous activities, but there are a couple of planned events on our docket: I bought a Groupon for a 2-hour jewelery-making class for 2 at a studio in Newberg, so Evan and I will take a bezeling class tomorrow from 2-4. I'm taking a years-old pendant with 2 circular peridots and a teardrop citrine and will plan to convert it into a pair of earrings with the peridots. But we'll see! The other thing I really want to do and have brought up on occasion is for Evan to show me around the Lewis and Clark College campus, as it's his alma mater and I've never been out there. I applied to several jobs there during my time in Portland, but was never invited for an interview and consequently have never gone to see the campus. I think it will be insightful to go through the buildings and on the grounds where young!Evan spent some formative years. And, like my alma mater, it often shows up in top lists for beautiful campuses. Maybe there will even be a picnic. ♥
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
Or: why I don't post much anymore.

My life is superb. The only drama I have (though at times it can be mighty and crosses over into my non-work life, of which I don't approve) is work-related. I have renewed and newly-meaningful relationships with some key people, including my sister, mother, and Eugene-friend-Jen. I still write letters and have phone calls maintaining other long-time friendships. I even see some people locally who are also friends— and colleagues! I'm financially in a far better place than I've been since 2005. I'm comfortable in my own skin, with a distinct lack of chemicals. My deep-seated anxieties about the irony of the universe lashing out at me personally in unique and traumatizing ways is near-banished. I'm exercising and even going to ballet once a week. Creatively, I knit more than anything else, but I've also revived work on my Wraeththu novel book contract and will be having a First Pass Major Re-Read/Edit with my editor at the end of July. I'm living and sharing every day with the life partner I didn't dare to dream actually existed. I'm 130 days into giving a full years' experiment of seeing what it's like to choose not to drink.

So I think I get a bit wary of sounding like I'm vomiting rainbows. Of course there's some shitty stuff. I've had several bouts of sinus/throat issues, which haven't been fun. While I thoroughly enjoy my particular role at work, I'm ambivalent about the ever-changing landscape outside of that realm. I'll need to do a major exorcism of preconceptions about headquarters in general before going there in June, though perhaps the very act of going will provide some clarity I haven't had before. My left pinky toe is apparently going to hurt for the rest of my life, and I've screwed up my right shoulder somehow, as well as done something to my upper left hip flexor… all of which makes the ballet more painful than necessary. I need to keep constant vigilance not to succumb to hedonic adaptation, and to be very, very aware of any inklings of creating drama simply because my life is so stable.

But in general, I'm fully engaged in my life and content in ways I've not been for a very long time. So that's why I don't post all that often. Still, here's an update! ♥
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
I'd posted about this in other social media, but one of the completely unexpected perks about moving into my new position in Resolutions & Rebookings is that our training was scheduled for the shockingly traditional 8-5, Monday-Friday. That means that for the first time since my original training at the end of July and early August, I have 2 days together off, and they are days I can share with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols!! Weekends! OMGYAY! At least a few of them, and then shortly thereafter I'll have a new schedule. I have no idea if it will resemble my prior one or not, and since my new team lead (the 3rd thus far in my 7-month tenure) was in a week-long Team Leads meeting at HQ, I haven't even begun to get to know him yet. No constant but change, as they say.

It was a productive but leisurely, very social yet cocoon-y weekend. A fulfilling amalgam of activity and lounging. I was uncommonly social in that my friend Jen from Eugene came over for lunch on Friday, then we went on a lovely walk with [personal profile] grrlpup and [personal profile] sanguinity, and then over to Evan's sister's place yesterday to hang out with them. Evan and I had a very rare lunch out, trying out an Indian restaurant buffet close by (yummy!) and doing the obligatory Portland thing of going outside on a getting-warm, sunny spring day. I even wore spring clothes! Exhibit A below the cut )

I tried calling a few folks and had really hoped to Skype with my stepdad and at least one of my stepsisters while he was up in NYC, but despite several texts back and forth, it didn't happen. Last week during my usual Wednesday off I Skyped with my mom and sister (my mom was visiting her out in Salt Lake City) which was especially poignant after my recent wonderful trip to Harrisonburg. I find myself in tears not infrequently after being on the phone with my dad or mom; my relationships with both of them are so open and easy now, and that has not been the case for much of my adult life. I am incredibly grateful for that.

And I'm up and showered and solo earlier than usual today as Evan went into work an hour earlier than the norm. I must have slept very well as I woke up with the alarm and wasn't foggy or tired at all. Woo hoo!! That's a welcome way to start my week!

I'll write more about my new promotion in the coming days. ♥
thrihyrne: (hand written letter writer)
I returned last night from a 5-day (including basically 2 days of travel) whirlwind trip with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols to Harrisonburg, Virginia. This was a 'business' trip, to go through a large closet of my belongings that have been there since 2005 when I was filing for divorce from my to-be-wasband and my stepdad came to Nashville and we got a small U-Haul trailer and moved all of my belongings from Nashville to Harrisonburg. Since then, I've moved to Verona, VA, to 2 other locations in Harrisonburg, and various places in Portland. Now, at last, I'm stable in a wide variety of ways, including my residence. So it was time.

This was also the first time I'd seen my mother and stepfather since my acrimonious departure in fall of 2011. Since then, I've had a 180° turnaround in relations with my mother (I've never had long-term issues with my stepdad) and we've been communicating much more regularly. Still, I was a bit unsure about whether or not there might be awkward questions, or awkward expectations, and to my relief, there simply wasn't any. It was a very busy and purposeful three days, but there was also a fabulous reunion element to do with the choir I'd sung with in Staunton. We had lunch with a couple of my dear friends, there was a massive hug-fest and introductions of Evan to, well, everyone. Not only that, but my dear friend [livejournal.com profile] persephone100 came down to stay for a day and visit and assist. She also got to go 'shopping' for free through my stuff! So many items went to a happy new home. :) Heaps of things will go to a new home eventually, as the Harrisonburg Goodwill got another motherlode of my stuff that I simply wasn't emotionally tied to.

So now we're back, having checked 3 bags on the return flight, and shipping one rug and one plastic bin via UPS. That's it. All the rest was recycled/trashed/given away/scanned. What a relief, and a harbinger of this amazing life I lead now and plan to have for years. Now Evan knows I have a past! He had a super-saturated experience of people and places and proof that I really have received a tremendous amount of written correspondence since 1986. It's good to be home, and to return to my current life, which is a gift unto itself.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] evannichols had an overarching Word for the Year last year which was 'celebrate.' He hasn't been doing that kind of representational statement for many years, but we were discussing it this morning, it being a new calendar year and all. He's focusing on finishing things, so I suggested 'closure.' And since, of course, I wanted to think about me equally, I thought about my own goals and what word would be my go-to for the year. It came pretty quickly: tenacity. I'm very, very skilled at starting over. But it's been since the first half-decade of the 00s since I've worked on my staying power. This is the year that I want to hold on to what I have: the integral presence of Evan in my life; engaging employment; staying in this residence for a year; and, most importantly, keeping thoughts of 'this is all too good to be true, the universe loves bleak irony and some horrible tragedy is right around the corner to show me how too good to be true this is' at bay, whatever that takes in as healthy an approach as I can muster.

So. TENACITY


Jury duty was nearly as uneventful yesterday as Monday, though at 3:15 or so I was finally called to go to a courtroom! We were interviewed for a while to decide which of us would be unbiased and the appropriate jurors for the case, which was going to go on for the next day, perhaps two. Now, if this had happened on Monday I would have been stoked, but Wednesday is my day off and if I had been selected, it would have meant (I think) that I'd just be in jury duty and not paid or if I was paid, that would all be fine and good, but that day off would not necessarily be rescheduled. To my immense relief I was not chosen, and was able to go and leave the courtroom. The judge thanked us and I spontaneously replied, "Thank you for inviting us to be a part of the process," which she really seemed to appreciate. Fun fact I learned from this process and the juror movie we watched yesterday morning: there are more women judges than men in the state of Oregon.

My left pinkie toe still hurts a lot. I've been icing and elevating it each day when I come home. I realize this may resemble a rib injury in that it just hurts for a long while as it heals. Ah, well. I did buy an exercise ball yesterday, something I'd been intending to do for months, so I can add in that element to my toning, but I think jogging again is still a little ways off. My sister sent me some birthday money so I can try out hot yoga, which I'm very excited about. :)

Today after doing laundry I'll head out to the jeweler who has resized my rings and pay for them and wear them, then go to visit [personal profile] sanguinity until lunchtime or so and then have quiet time at home. Yay!!

Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't note the splendid evening we had with [livejournal.com profile] oh_that_jocelyn on Monday. There was yummy food and delightful conversation and gifts! I am grateful that Evan and his wife emerita are still close and that I, too, enjoy her company, very much. As Evan noted, she and I do have a lot in common: we both love cats, we love decorative stationery arts… ;)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
First, here I am in my new happy place:

writing corner


Writing! In my composition notebook! With coffee! And great lighting! In a comfy chair! In my room! :D :D :D

Evan and I accomplished a lot this weekend. Bit shocking, perhaps.
~ Went to IKEA, bought and assembled this chair and footrest, obtained other household items thanks to my bonus and giftcard
~ Went to Sally Beauty to get hair color to remedy the recent dye attempts
~ Went to Yarn Garden to buy yarn to make Evan a pair of socks, and get buttons for my recently-completed cardigan
~ Took a nap
~ Re-assembled his 2 large wardrobes and moved a dozen large bins from his room to the living room in order to do so
~ Watched Cold Fever, a favorite film of mine available only on VHS which we rented from Movie Madness, conveniently a not-quite-two-block walk down the street
~ I got a haircut at Bishops yesterday morning, then went grocery shopping, then went by the library
~ Re-colored Evan's hair
~ My usual 1-10 p.m. work shift yesterday

I was rather confuzzled by my very detailed dreams through the night having to do with Evan and [livejournal.com profile] llembas and a job and poetry and libraries. "Happy Friday!" I exclaimed, sleepily, and there was a pause.

"It's Monday."

"Oh. Right. I have no idea why I thought it was Friday."

So… happy Monday, all.
thrihyrne: (hand written letter writer)
For the first time since this time last year, this morning I retrieved one of my composition notebooks and began writing on a new fic. This is all thanks to my beloved [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12. At the end of our conversation on Wednesday, she suggested that since I'd missed out on signing up for Yuletide, I just might consider looking at the prompts available for the [livejournal.com profile] ron_draco_fest 2013. I said I would, and now, two days later, I've claimed a prompt and started writing on it. I'm quietly thrilled. Don't really know how the story will meander, but I have my ideas and I'm going to see where R/D will take me in this new story, unrelated to any 'verses I've created in the past. In looking at my own website, it appears that the last one-shot R/D I wrote was done in July of 2011. So not as long ago as I'd imagined. Still, yay. ::welcomes Muse with open arms::

In other news, this week has been particularly wonderful in that I've had several conversations with friends that have me feeling far less isolated than I did a few days ago. I'm realizing that that will be key once Evan and I are living together and I'm alone all day working, with no pets for company. I do have my follow-up about my trial period for work with my former team lead; my leads changed in the midst of this scrutiny, and all I can do is see how this plays out.

But I feel marvelous. Happy Friday, all. ♥
thrihyrne: (clock by licia)
… and it's not even 2 o'clock yet!

~ being emotionally vulnerable and honest and completely at peace around [livejournal.com profile] evannichols
~ phone call connections with family and friends
~ Portland in autumn. Gorgeous!!
~ a lunchtime walk turning into a spontaneous jog
thrihyrne: (plaidtastic)
So happy. Today is a tremendously marvelous day. I've spoken with my mom, my sister, am enjoying coffee and a totally indulgent cinnamon roll thingie with cream cheese, finishing up one of my non-Etsy-shop reclaimed sweaters to send to said sister's daughter, and perhaps the best thing (aside from enjoying this gorgeous, windy day and knitting or writing or reading or doing whatever the hell I want)… when Evan comes to pick me up at the end of his workday, I'll go to his place for five days! FIVE DAYS. IN A ROW. This may not seem like a big deal, but it's a tremendous opportunity for us to have a trial run of living together while we're both working, in the kind of scenario we'd experience: him going off to BHFT, me staying there to work from home. Him coming home and me still being on the clock until 6:00, then a leisurely evening with dinner, chatting, digital entertainment, and bed. Repeat! I don't think I'll ever take for granted the joy of ending and starting my days literally at Evan's side. Do I oftentimes regret that we don't get to enjoy our 20s and 30s together? Yes. That said, we needed to learn what we did from our prior relationships and working through our own individual self-actualizing in order to be as at peace with ourselves as we are now.

::hand fluttering to express ineffable joy::
thrihyrne: (Boromir life is good)
'breaking curfew' nail polish. Thank you so much for sharing that with me, Beren!!
A true Friday for me after what was a very challenging workweek.
OMGLASTCOMMUTEDOWNTOWN. Hopefully ever.
Following on that, that means that I begin working remotely on Sunday! I will be mobile! Watch me and my MacbookAir go! Well, and also making sure that my home workspace(s) are as ergonomic as possible. In all likelihood I'm going to get a large monitor to plug the laptop into. It will be a learning process and evolve over time, to be sure.
Talking with Evan about making a home together. The joy that comes with the thought of sharing a bower with him and working from home is just about enough to make me melt with happiness.
Grey skies again this morning! It will clear off later, but for now, this is my most groovalicious Portland weather.
You all, my friends with me on this journey. Thank you. ♥
thrihyrne: (Oregon lover)
I'm back at Airbnb effective immediately (though I don't have my laptop; I'll retrieve it tomorrow when I'm back at our Portland office) and very grateful. I have learned a tremendous amount about my own strength during this, as well as the amazing support and love that is granted so fully to me. Thank you all for your kind words during what was a pretty challenging several days!
thrihyrne: (asian text)
I haven't done a reading for ages, but it called to me so I did one for myself this morning. My primary focus was, "Where am I now, within myself?" and also an overarching question about work, present and future.the outcome )
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
The short (and long!) of my one-day visit with [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12 was that the day was sublime. We talked, walked, shopped, ate lunch with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols, hung out at my house, visited my wee library branch, went back to her lodging, talked more… and then it was time for me to go to an appointment. It joyed my heart so much to have the whole day with her, and for her to meet Evan in person, and to meet my housemates and see my room and environs. We will need to do this far more often than once every four years!! She is now off to Lubricus with [personal profile] snottygrrl and [livejournal.com profile] winnett, and I hope they all have a wonderful time at the con.

My work schedule is a bit wonky due to the fabulousness of friends visiting and that I'm traveling with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols this weekend! I just realized I've not really posted about that, but I'll be going with him to Spicer's Meadow in northern California for a couple of days for an annual Nichols family get-together. This means that I'll be meeting his parents and an older brother and others for the first time in person. :D While that is a big deal, what's an even bigger deal to me psychologically is traveling with him, and flying, even. I've not traveled or flown with anyone (exception of the Staunton choir tour) since, oh, 2004. I'm used to keeping my anxieties and fears to myself, and making not great decisions because I could, and I was alone and no-one was keeping tabs on me. So this will be all different. And precisely because Evan is so optimistic and level-headed, I haven't been wracked by my usual freak-out about flying. I am going to treat myself either to a bagel or doughnut that morning we fly, however. It's healthier than my prior choice would have been.

So… I'll be AFK pretty much until mid-week next week. But after that I'll have pictures, of the trip and with my dear [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12.
thrihyrne: (plaidtastic)
YAY!! Very exciting, and thankfully not yet nerve-wracking! I'll keep this short and sweet for now as I don't have much to go on yet, but I'm super chuffed to be starting my first day of training with Airbnb. I'm even happier that our training location(s) are very close to a Max line and not far across the river, so I'll have something much closer to an hour commute, rather than the two-hour one I had before. This pleases me greatly.

My 3-day weekend with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols was sublime. I took him out to breakfast, we lounged around and watched all three episodes of Sherlock from season one, I recolored my hair, there were insightful and emotional conversations, more yummy food, Boggle, crosswords, and he even fit in Dude Golf yesterday morning. We don't know what my schedule will be after training, so these last few 'regular' weekends of having whole Saturdays and Sundays together are especially precious.

I'll post in the next day or so to report in on how everything's going.
thrihyrne: (meditation rocks)
Yesterday was my last day at CompView. I gifted myself with two days off in order to have some down time before transitioning to full-time work next week. As a super-special gift to me, [livejournal.com profile] evannichols also took Friday off, and I'll be taking him to a belated birthday breakfast at Slappy Cakes. He also generously gave me a decorated envelope that said "Kristi's Massage Fund" so that I can get a much-needed full-body massage during my time off. Portland is full of places to go, and since he knew I'd have a much better idea of where I'd like to go than he would, he gave me the self-created gift certificate Tuesday evening as a part of my sleepover. I had a stroke of genius thought Wednesday morning, which was to contact another massage therapist friend (I did get to know a few during my time living with Julia, who ran in acupuncture and massage therapy circles due to her career) and I was able to schedule an appointment with a lovely woman named Karla. I'll simply go to her apartment this morning where she has her own treatment table and get my very sore body worked on.

I've managed to sustain some mystery injuries, including my right shoulder (no idea) and hips (probably from a combination of the jogging and lots of inner- and outer-thigh work), the omnipresent knots and tension in my upper back, and being generally sleep-deprived and continually sleeping on a mattress with only 3 slats. Anyway, this morning I treated myself to a hot soak in the tub with epsom salts, something my massage therapist friend Joseph has recommended for literally years. They had the salts at the dollar store, which at last prompted me to do this. I'll plan to have another soak post-massage on Friday in the upstairs bathroom at [livejournal.com profile] evannichols's house when his sister and her family are out for the day. Self-care. What a concept! I'm not sure what to do about my innards, though; I'm still suffering from a loud stomach, often unhappy bowels, but thankfully no actual pain. Today I think I'll stick to jello, yogurt, a banana and oatmeal. Maybe I'll lighten up on the celery, too; I thought it was innocuous, but perhaps not. And maybe switch to tea for a few days, rather than my beloved coffee.

Soon I'll put on casual clothes and walk up to the closest grocery store to do my recycling and mark that off my list. Shouldn't be too many other people there around 6:50 a.m.!!
thrihyrne: (kells illumination)
'Vomiting rainbows', while descriptive, is disturbing to a couple of people on my flist. I'm open to suggestions, because that does appear to be a theme here in my life. And I don't want that to change, I might add.

The weekend was truly lovely. [livejournal.com profile] evannichols had Dude Night Friday, which meant that we had a later start to our weekend, but there was still cake to be enjoyed that night— a delicious Carrot Zucchini/Hummingbird gluten- and dairy-free cake from Petunia's Pies and Pastries. Long story short on this: I'd special ordered a unique cake for Evan's 50th birthday and by human error (not on my part), the icing was incorrect. The cake was scrumptious, but Lisa (the founder and pastry chef) felt really badly when she found out and offered up cupcakes or another cake in the future to make things right. So I took her up on it as part of my own recent celebration. Saturday we went out to sushi with [personal profile] grrlpup and [personal profile] sanguinity, which was also delicious. Sunday featured our usual rituals: coffee and online Boggle and an online Tuesday NYTimes crossword in bed; breakfast and internet, domestic chores, a couple of phone calls, some work on personal projects, and as an added bonus, doing Pilates. We didn't so much follow along as use the DVD as a jumping-off point to do our own Pilates with our own music and the DVD on mute. It worked. The weekend was particularly quiet (his sister, BIL and niece were at the coast) and restful; Saturday I even took a nap! This is highly irregular, but apparently much-needed. Yesterday I also had an hour-plus long phone call with [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12, which was absolutely wonderful. I'm thrilled to say that she's coming out this way next month and I'll get an entire day to spend with her. :D

This week is my big transition week: I'm still on assignment at the company in Beaverton, but I'm moving up my last day to Wednesday so that I can have a bit of downtime and prep time before jumping headfirst back into full-time work in a new job, in a new work environment for me, and a new field in many ways. I'm terrifically excited!! And also want to make sure I don't start out sleep-deprived and anxious.

And as an aside, I'm so glad that I had a couple of my Etsy sweaters-in-progress to show and tell with [personal profile] grrlpup and [personal profile] sanguinity. [personal profile] sanguinity pointed out something that I knew in my heart to be true with the beginnings of my first sweater with my hand-dyed yarn, which was that with the short variegations and the pattern I'd chosen, it was super busy. She articulated what I knew was the case, so I undid it and am now starting on it as a cuff-to-cuff pullover, which will be different simply because it's cuff-to-cuff, but it will be subtle and showcase the yarn. I'm much more at peace with it now. So, thank you, Sang!! ♥
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
These posts probably wouldn't be so long if I posted a bit more often. Hmmmm.
To do and body issues )
self care! )

I'm feeling much better this morning than I did yesterday evening. My enthusiasm and joy and gratitude hasn't diminished or anything, but I was running myself ragged unnecessarily. Sleep is important. If I'm going to get up at 5:30 each morning, I really have to go to bed before 11:30. I was going through my affirmations when I feel sound asleep! I did have another really interesting and long dream this morning to do with a prior boyfriend and now long-time friend from college. My alma mater has been showing up a lot in my dream life. I wonder what it signifies! Maybe it's my subconscious being a bit miffed that I've opted not to go to my 20th reunion, especially now that I've found out it's a choir reunion as well. Not sure.

While I'm basking in all kinds of amazing positivity (which yes, has been a long time coming!!), there are a couple of friends on my flist going through very challenging times. You are held in light and in my thoughts.

May 2016

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