thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
These posts probably wouldn't be so long if I posted a bit more often. Hmmmm.
To do and body issues )
self care! )

I'm feeling much better this morning than I did yesterday evening. My enthusiasm and joy and gratitude hasn't diminished or anything, but I was running myself ragged unnecessarily. Sleep is important. If I'm going to get up at 5:30 each morning, I really have to go to bed before 11:30. I was going through my affirmations when I feel sound asleep! I did have another really interesting and long dream this morning to do with a prior boyfriend and now long-time friend from college. My alma mater has been showing up a lot in my dream life. I wonder what it signifies! Maybe it's my subconscious being a bit miffed that I've opted not to go to my 20th reunion, especially now that I've found out it's a choir reunion as well. Not sure.

While I'm basking in all kinds of amazing positivity (which yes, has been a long time coming!!), there are a couple of friends on my flist going through very challenging times. You are held in light and in my thoughts.
thrihyrne: (Oregon lover)
... well, here it doesn't pour all the time, but there's a good chance you're living in Portland. But I'm writing about the amazing and grateful fact that I have yet another interview for another 1/2 time position! It's for a development assistant position with a downtown church. I had a preliminary chat while walking to my bus yesterday morning, which made for a very non-conducive pre-interview conversational environment (but it was the only time we could talk) as the bus I catch is on a very loud and busy street at a loud and busy intersection. I'll meet with them on July 6th. I'd be thrilled to be able to have two half-time positions, if I could make it work. I don't honestly know how long I'll be on assignment out in Beaverton, though it sounded like at least a two-month gig. Guess I'll see over time. But, yay!

I'm still a bit weirded out about enjoying my early mornings so much. Some of it has to do with the fact that it's pretty much the only time the house here is quiet, but I also realize that I'm able to get a fair amount of things accomplished in the early hours. I've been sleeping quite soundly, and am definitely still in a very vivid dream cycle. Quality sleep goes a long way toward making my general anxiety levels much lower. Having a paycheck in any amount is also helping. ;) I also did some affirmations and visualizations while jogging yesterday. The author of the book I'm reading recommends that one be relaxed and restful while doing those, but I figure that the more often I do affirmations and consciously have positive thoughts about myself and my situation, the more I'll believe them. Which is a very good thing.
thrihyrne: (Oregon lover)
the downer )

the upper(s) )

Some other positives from yesterday and anticipated for today:

    I decided to buy my own dyes so that I can proceed with my yarn dyeing without being reliant on my friend. In doing a search to see if Fabric Depot had the brand he'd recommended, I came across a web page that had a set of 6 color starter set of specific acid dyes for yarns for $24.99. The yarn company pinged for me, and I remembered that my mother had given me a $25 gift certificate for a yarn company and I'd not used it yet (because $25 doesn't actually go all that far in terms of purchasing yarn for anything other than a hat/socks/scarf)... same company!! So I bought them. There was much elation.
    Later in the afternoon, I was invited to come along on a walk with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols and [personal profile] sanguinity. The weather and company were delightful. There was much talk of zombies and zombie-killing devices, and martial arts. And [livejournal.com profile] evannichols was only punched once!
    I scored a personal best, point-wise, playing online boggle: 49.
    I meant to get up at my usual time this morning, but was so tired I reset my alarm to get up at 7:21 so I could be at the plasma center by 8:00. I did reset it, but then closed the phone without saving it. I'll go in at 9 o'clock instead. Those who've been following me for a while will remember my grousing when trying to donate in Harrisonburg, but this place is literally 2½ blocks from the house. Before, I was stuck with a bus system that only went to the plasma center once an hour, so that was where the timesuck happened if I failed on the iron count. Here there's no problem with that, but… they don't take appointments. So the timesuck is reliant on how many other people are there in front of you. But I have not just one but two new books to read, and knitting projects out the wazoo. I'll be fine in terms of self-entertainment.
    I may just be ready to start up jogging again. I did well for several weeks, then things went south and north and south and north and I went back to the easier option: isometric exercise in the form of remembered Pilates stuff at home in my room. But some cardio would do me good.

    This got long. My dream life is also out of control, but that's par for the course. My mother had showed up so many times in my dreams that I emailed her to touch base. For now, however, I really need to get a move on!
thrihyrne: (kells illumination)
Firstly: My dreamlife. Goodness, gracious, the long, convoluted, mind-numbingly detailed dreams that I've been having this weekend. For Friday and Saturday night I had three of those per night. Last night I only had two. But still. In one of them from Saturday I'd misplaced my backpack (in which I keep my vitals these days and have it with me all the time) and some woman brought it to me, gave me a vindictive look, and dumped it out on the floor before running away. When going through it, I realized my wallet was gone, and (still in the dream) had to reprogram my phone to call [livejournal.com profile] evannichols and tell him that I was going to have to replace all of my cards and cancel my credit cards. I was so incredibly relieved in the morning to be able to go to my backpack and see that, in fact, my wallet was there. Having so many experiences, whether experienced in the common reality of being awake or being asleep, can be really challenging. It's why even though my various therapists have been really intrigued and wanted me to write them down, I refuse to do so. Too many 'realities'.

Secondly: BACON. Yum. Birthday-weekend bacon, at that. Which is a lot like regular bacon, but enjoyed especially much.

Thirdly: One of the things that is so amazing to me about spending time with [livejournal.com profile] evannichols is that even what would be considered mundane activities have an aura of marvelousness to them. This morning it occurred to me that the word to describe that is evanescence. With a new meaning, of course. ;)

I heard from the recruiter at the company where I've been interviewing, but when I returned his call, he was on holiday until tomorrow and specifically not checking email or voicemail. But I did speak with the person there that he said to contact in an emergency and she said she'd let him know, and I also sent an email anyway. So I hope to hear from him early this week and maybe I'll even have an offer. That would be pretty great.

I'll be heading back to my house this evening, and that always makes me a bit melancholy. But… it's been a really, really wonderful four days with my beloved. I'll focus on that.
thrihyrne: (asian text)
I mentioned that [livejournal.com profile] evannichols and I share our dreams in the mornings that I spend the night, which is almost as effective as writing them down. For the most part I don't write them down as having memories of that many realities becomes overwhelming. But I felt I should share part of my dream from early this morning as it was a new scenario to me, and doubtless various therapists would have something to say: toward the end of this dream, I'd been working out and had on a black unitard (the kind with a tank-top-top, rather than with sleeves) and gone into the locker room to get a shower. Once naked, I turned around to look at myself in a full-length mirror and saw that I had a penis. That faced backward. As one does. o_O But nobody else seemed to think that was odd. There was more that I won't share, but it was certainly an exotic dream to tell [livejournal.com profile] evannichols this morning!

He and I will get ready to go to the Oregon coast for our overnight, and we may go out of our way to Tillamook to do the self-guided tour of their cheese factory. I was more excited about the prospect (that was my idea since he doesn't eat dairy) before I looked at their website and saw that they no longer offer guided tours through the facility due to health and safety regulations. So we'll see. Must say that the best tours in that genre that I've experienced have been the Jack Daniels distillery in Tennessee and the Maker's Mark distillery in Kentucky. But alcohol gets distilled, so even if you let people wander past the huge vats while the stuff is fermenting, germs and such will be taken care of. Not the same with cheese. ;)

Lastly for today, I've been meaning to post this gem of [livejournal.com profile] evannichols's for a few weeks now. You know how there are particular names for groups of animals, some of the more exotic being a pride of lions or (my favorite) a murder of crows. After trying to pass a cluster of bicyclists at a crosswalk a few weeks ago, I decided we needed a name for a group of bicyclists. About five minutes later, [livejournal.com profile] evannichols came up with a 'wheeling of bicyclists.' It's pretty perfect! And so useful here in Portland, which is, according to a super-fast Google search, number 2 ranking in bicycle-friendly cities both in the U.S. and the World (at least according to Virgin Vacations). It's easy to come up with Portland-relevant sentences in which this new term is apropos: "I was walking down the Springwater Corridor and was nearly run over by a wheeling of cyclists going at speed." "I tripped over part of the sidewalk because I was staring at the legs on that wheeling of cyclists waiting to cross the river."
thrihyrne: (plaidtastic)
Yes, I'm making up words. I'll warn again for excessive happiness, but hey: I think I've paid for this. the past few days )

I'm getting very close to finishing my vest! I'm only about a half inch from the specified length, then I'll do all of the bind-off and decorative edging and then all I'll need to do is block it and be done. I've decided to make an adorable baby owl cardigan for both of my stepsisters out of this yarn since I believe they're both pregnant with second children. I'll get more details and confirm that when I talk with my stepdad today, if I get him on the phone.

Also on the positive job front, I applied to a database contractor position and while I highly doubt I'll be brought in, it was great to hear from the recruiter and after we talked, she said she felt comfortable at least submitting my resume into the mix. Then I got a call from one of the Portland community centers where I'd submitted a resume and cover letter, and I have an interview with them next week! Things do seem to happen when I get really serious about looking for a job.

In essence: it's all splendiferous. :)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (brain chaparral)
In the past several days I've had dreams that prove to have interesting symbolism. I'm in a very rich and memorable dream cycle of late, so thought I'd share a few of these, beginning with last night/this morning:

~ I was in the chorus of a musical, performing on stage. I also seemed to have some artistic skills, as later on in the dream this guy was singing (no longer in the musical) and I had a big piece of dark blue heavy construction paper and some oil pastels and was drawing something that, now that I think about it, looked like an interpretation of the aurora borealis. Huh. There's not an entry for 'performer' at the site for dream imagery I've been consulting, but here's dancing:
    To dream that you are dancing signifies freedom from any constraints and restrictions. Your life is in balance and in harmony. Dancing also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. You need to incorporate these qualities in your waking life.

~ I was a substitute archer in the Olympics. The archery was very, very odd in that I was holding some kind of balloon thing filled with sand that was in my right hand, the hand I used to pull back the bow before shooting. And it was all representational- I just knew it was the Olympics, not that it really seemed that way. I was an okay shot.
    To see archery in your dream suggests that you are setting your goals and planning your direction in life. It signifies attainment and fulfillment of your goals.

~ I was a cheerleader, doing cheers that, upon awakening, I remembered were from my very brief and very real stint as a cheerleader. The fall of my freshman year at my small, Episcopalian, liberal arts college found me in search of what I hoped to be an easy and relatively painless PE credit. I'd been on the dance team at my high school the year before and hoped for a not-too- mortifying transition. I only lasted a semester, however.
    To dream that you are a cheerleader signifies your self-confidence and self-esteem. You need to be more active and more positive in some waking situation in your life.

Perhaps this is my subconsciousness' way of recognizing that I'm in a good place right now and that there are many highly positive things going on. When dreaming, I seem to be free of the negative parts of my brain who are both suspicious of the good stuff and don't trust it to last, and also are the 'you're not worthy' parts. Kind of nice to know that when let free of that, I'm confident and setting goals and enjoying being in this good place. Now to integrate that into my waking life. :)
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (brain chaparral)
There's nothing like being woken up by your alarm in the midst of having a very in-depth dream about helping out with Aleuts who are living in 'the hood' in Anchorage. :shakes head: I really don't understand my subconscious sometimes. I was on the phone with my best friend in Eugene last night until 12:15 or so and then went to sleep, but with my imminent departure to Portland, could not fall straight asleep. I may not have posted this here, but I do have a date: Wednesday, October 5th. Ticket is purchased, my former roommate Julia is picking me up and I'll be staying with her for a couple of days while solidifying my living situation (she's opened her doors to me and really would like for me to live with her, but I think it's best if I'm somewhere else and can have the occasional sleepover and be a good friend. I'm already booked to house- and catsit for her the 23-30 while she goes off on a cruise. I love how this is all working out!), and settling in once again to Stumptown/Rose City, pick your city nickname. When my mind is churning, I was thinking of things like how much cash to take with me and in what dollar bill denominations. This came up because I'll be car-less this go 'round and will need to take TriMet from the get-go and my bank doesn't go that far west. And I HATE paying ATM fees. But this kind of minutiae is what I live with all the time. And berating myself and saying, "You can't do anything about any of this right this minute. GO TO SLEEP," didn't help either. Still, at least I enjoy having to-do lists.

And I sold another item on Etsy yesterday, and not one that I expected to. So exciting! It's so funny that now that I'm counting down to leaving, I've become this force of making money with the least amount of effort. I have Etsy (which isn't difficult, but was quite time-consuming in terms of getting pictures of me in the clothes and resizing pics and all of that), and I had a modeling gig at JMU yesterday and will have one more before taking off, and this evening telemarketing gig that I picked up and started this past Tuesday. It's an at-will company with an ever-revolving door of people (as is common in that world) so I'm going to stay exactly 3 weeks so none of my commissions will be docked and I'll leave a letter the morning that I fly out. And I'll do so without a twinge of guilt. It's not as though I'd be using them as a reference.

This morning I'm off to the poetry center to help a student worker with the database I created. I'm glad to be back with them to assist and spend some time with them again. I'll hopefully be able to spend some time with my former supervisor and let her in on my plans as she's said she would be pleased to be a reference for me. If I do apply to grad school, having her as an academic will be a definite plus.

Happy Friday to everyone!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
I don't know whether it's the meds I'm on or if I'm just back to being in a really active dream cycle, but I've really had a super-active dreamlife of late. Included in recent nights: being back at Portland Opera, living with a former roommate from when I first lived in Nashville back in 1992, and working back at Nashville Opera. Last night was about something altogether different, but sadly it's escaped me. It may well be the medication, but since I'm pretty focused these days about both information-gathering here as well as plans for my relocation, it's probably no wonder that my mind is working a lot at night.

My stepdad and I were supposed to be driving to southwestern Virginia to Petersburg today around 3:00 to get there for an organ recital my mom was playing, featuring exclusively pieces written by women composers. Well, with the hurricane, much of the power has gone out throughout Petersburg (where my mom went yesterday morning to practice and spent the night), so the AGO (American Guild of Organists) group who had invited her to give the recital said that they'd need to reschedule. I feel really sorry for my mom; she's been working on this for several months, plus with her teaching work schedule, it's going to be quite difficult for her to reschedule. All of that said, I don't mind not spending several hours on the road today to and from the recital. I'm going to do some research into various MSW social work programs, hopefully do some writing, take the dog out for a walk- it's very windy, still, but not raining- have a good long chat with my best friend out in Eugene, and get ready for the week. Between an earthquake, the nearby hurricane, and my computer stuff, I'm ready for an 'average' week!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Bedhead)
Well, the big news for me is that the most recent issue of Filament magazine is not only one that features red headed males, but it also has my article! I can't wait to get my author copy. I'll be buying a few extras as well, no doubt. :)

Also, when I was chatting with one of my Furious Flower colleagues, part of my dream from last night came to me, and I was a vampire! But I was hanging out with two other vampires, and while there was a little bit of feeding, it hurt, and not in a good way. Hmmmm. I haven't even watched True Blood in a couple of weeks. In fact, thanks to a recommendation from [livejournal.com profile] persephone100, I downloaded and watched Shaun of the Dead, a silly British zombie movie that was so non-believable and schticky even I could watch it.

In a first for me for the holiday season, as part of the three exchanges I'm involved in, I'm writing three stories: one pre-slash, one gen, and one… het. What is wrong with the universe? I miss my monks and/or writing good 'ol PWP slash. Maybe in the new year. That said, two of the three are essentially done, and I really grooved on writing the Tolkien one.

Glad to be on the other side of the Thanksgiving holidays. For Christmas, as an unintentional gift to me, my parents will be going up to NYC to hang out with grandchildren. I'll take care of the pets and watch over the house. :D And stay in comfy clothes, unless I have to work at Panera, which is highly possible. My thanks to those I chatted with over the holidays and helped me to keep my sanity when things were a bit on the desperate side. ♥
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Tilda by fileg)
Last night I dreamed that I was on stage doing a short scene with… Tilda Swinton. :::massive swoon::: And what happened? I completely forgot every one of my lines and our scene was entirely improved. She was very gracious about it. I was mortified.

I have an updated picture of my skirt in progress, below the cut )

There's a new yarn store opening in the downtown, and it just so happens that they're having an open house today from 5:00-8:00. You'd better believe I'm going, not just to see what they're selling, but also to offer myself up as a potential employee! Why not? I've been knitting for eighteen years, taught some people, and I could teach classes if they want, on a commission basis or whatever. Even if I helped out 8 hours or so a week, that would be so very cool. I'll keep you posted.

Lastly, as a preparation for applying to grad school to get an MLIS, but one program is a dual MLIS/MA in computer science, I thought about auditing a beginning level computer science class at JMU. I'd thought I could audit for free since I'm a part-time employee, but it turns out that you have to be full time. As part-time, I can choose to pay for the class and then audit it. Um, no. But the professor, who just happens to be a friend of my mom and stepdad's, has let my mom know he'd be happy for me to sit in and he'll pretend that I'm not there. :D So I'm going to take a beginning algorithm course, the first time I've been back in a conventional classroom since spring of 1992. Also eighteen years ago. Egads. Actually, no, that's not true. I had the privilege of sitting in on three of [livejournal.com profile] eldritchhobbit's courses in 2004 and 2005. I'll keep you posted on this new endeavor as well!

Happy weekend to you all!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (adrift)
My dreamlife has been unusually vivid the past couple of weeks. Two nights ago, for example, I woke up and remembered all kinds of elements to my dream, as I usually do, then went back to sleep and returned to the dream. While in the dream I thought, "Wow— this is really, really long with all kinds of details that I'll remember later." I'm sometimes aware I'm in my dreams, but not all that often. That one I did, though. Last night's involved losing my shoes on some babied-down version water ride and finding a new pair (purple! with yellow stripes!) before being sent to hell to do some kind of work. I kid you not. o_O

Am in a definite state of dispassion and listlessness: my old buddies. Either that or I'm simply easing into the fact that I'm going to be here in the 'burg for a while and that means relatively little social outlets, not a lot of scintillating conversations, and putting the best spin I can on my situation. Which I should do anyway, and it's certainly not all bad. For instance, we do apparently have roller derby. By all that's holy, I'm going to buy a ticket and go watch roller derby for real this Sunday. Should be fun, or at least something new and different I've never done before!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Default)
This is my first foray into paid knitting, a wonderful happenstance that occurred so that I'm knitting a pair of fingerless gloves for [livejournal.com profile] dreambastion, a friend from Portland. So both for her and you all, here's one completed glove. The yarn is yummy, mostly cotton as she's allergic to wool. The cables really stand out in cotton.
two glove pics )

In other me news: more crazy dreams. Two nights in a row that featured snow; should look into that symbolism. My Lord John/Hector story is nearly complete, the one I'm writing for [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest. It'll be posted June 15th. And I heard back about my Wraeththu compilation story; it rightly needs more grit, and basically more substance. The sequel for it is much more stand alone, but I'm looking at this as a challenge to really improve it.

And you all?
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (red-haired ingenue)
I've not been reporting in about all of my dreams because it would just get exhausting. Several LJ people have shown up in the past week, however, including both [livejournal.com profile] wolfiekins and [livejournal.com profile] koshweasley in the same dream. Last night I dreamed I was at some spectacle, but oddly enough given that there was a despondent female trapeze artist, it wasn't a circus. It was a business event, but in a place with super-high ceilings. And for some reason I ended up being asked or forced to join her, and I was pretty nervous because while she was quite skilled, she was also obviously really depressed. But I felt safe, even when we were swinging up really high (on the same swing) and somehow I knew I would be safe even when I fell (gracefully, somehow) and she held my feet and she swung as well. I don't remember how it ended. I had to look up the symbolism for a trapeze, as you might imagine. From two sources, here's what I found:

    To see a trapeze act in your dream, signifies a carefree attitude toward life. You are trying to escape from your daily responsibilities and take some time out to relax. Alternatively, the dream represents your high aspirations and ideals. To dream that you are swinging on a trapeze, indicates a desire or wish for sexual variety or adventure. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes indecisiveness. You are going back and forth on some choice.

    Trapeze
    A symbol of a strong desire for freedom - to come as close as a human being possibly can to flying on his own, whether the dreamer is actually on the trapeze or watching someone else perform. If the dreamer successfully performs a routine on a trapeze, the dreamer will experience the freedom he desires, but if he falls and crashes, he'll very likely fail due to his own shortcomings. If he falls and lands in a safety net, he'll succeed in spite of his shortcomings. Other symbols in the dream can reveal how the dreamer can avoid failure.

Hmmm. Another really good week; I've written up my recommendations for the community health center and will probably be able to present them on Monday or Tuesday. I do hope they'll retain me to actually implement the suggestions, and I think they will. I joined a gym (I think I mentioned that?) and have been really enjoying being able to take Pilates again on a regular basis, as well as enjoy the sauna, yoga, cardio classes, and having a healthy way to get out of my head.

I've been receiving a lot of very positive feedback on the original fiction story, both here and with a couple of select folks out in wider realms. So that's pretty great! And it's a weekend, so as of tomorrow I have some people to call and hopefully have long conversations with. I hope that you all have/are having a pleasurable weekend.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (chimerical)
ah, the dreams )

My folks and I watched Southern Comfort last night. I can't remember how on earth I found out about it, but I'd checked it out from the Multnomah public library before relocating. The JMU library had it so we watched it last night. It's hopeful, it's anger-inducing (toward the health care system), it's heartbreaking, and poignant. These two paragraphs are from Kate Davis, the director:
    These themes of courage and stepping out of the closet were also the backbone of Southern Comfort. When I met Robert Eads at a conference for transgendered men, I found myself living with a very hidden minority, hidden because they pass so well as men, and hidden to protect themselves against the daily perils of living as a transperson in a world which still persecutes them and makes every day a dangerous prospect.

    The men in Southern Comfort were fine living their regular lives, and hardly jumped at the chance to be part of a documentary. In fact, Robert himself resisted for months, and one day called to tell me that he was up for it. That he would be dead by the time the film would be finished. And so we all started to help tell Robert's extraordinary tale of being a transman, a parent, a shotgun-toting guy who can pass for a classic Redneck from rural Georgia, and as someone who was falling in love during the final year of his life. During the filming, I began to hear one recurring idea: the importance of accepting oneself. From that comes the strength to live a more honest life, and from that comes the chance to open up the hearts and minds of others.

Robert, the FTM who is the focus of the documentary, states early on how ironic it is that the one female part left to him is what's killing him- ovarian cancer. That's not to give anything away; that he's dying from the beginning of the documentary is stated outright. It was filmed in 1998 and I desperately hope that the medical community is far more understanding of trans* individuals more than a decade later, but in the area where he lived, it's hard to say. There are "Bubba-lands" in various regions of the U.S.; Hooterville comes to mind.

There are interviews with three of the cast members as extras on the DVD and I recommend watching those, too. They are at one of the film festivals, and they each wear shirts publicizing the movie, and they say: Love is a many gendered thing. I've not heard something so profoundly true and moving in a long time.

Regardless, this documentary is highly recommended. There's one person on my flist for whom this topic is near and dearly personal. I thought of you the whole time. ::kisses::
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (kjl young dreamer)
You all know that I have very long, detailed, did I mention detailed and long dreams that I remember more often than not. I don't write them down much anymore as it just gets too confusing when going on in real life, but this past week I've been dreaming of going back "home" to a house under renovation/reconstruction that I didn't remember at all. I was retrieving all of the things I'd had housed there, including photos, letters, and for some reason, loads and loads of jewelry: but things like brooches and earring sets, things I don't actually have in real life.

But last night, I got to dream about… Alan Rickman. Think "Truly, Madly, Deeply" Alan Rickman, but without the facial hair. At first we were both in a period movie, and were long-separated lovers, but it was Victorian or Edwardian, so there was no real getting it on, but lots and lots of really scorching finger touching, nuzzling, nibblekissing, that sort of thing. But then we were together somehow in real life, in current times, and it somehow segued into me being on a trip and a bunch of people running past me to catch a connecting flight and I'd become buddy buddy with somebody that I was going to get opera tickets to. And I was still involved with Alan, but had to wait to fly there and was hanging out with my (turquoise, hard case) suitcase in a waiting area until some flight attendants from another airline said I had to move- turns out my flight wasn't for another 4 hours or somesuch. Anyway, eventually I believe I was able to hang out with Alan and hold hands and there was all kinds of promise for marvelous things to come. The emotional hangover of sorts of happiness of reuniting in both the period piece part and the real life part has made me rather wistful and full of longing… for someone I've not really met.

This is why I try not to write down my dreams: it gets too complex, with the elements going on in my real life, the one that other people interact in, anyway, plus my writing life and the feelings/actions of the characters who demand I write about them, and then this additional layer! Still, I can revel a bit in the memory of something that emotionally happened and felt as real as anything else. And me with no Alan Rickman icon right now... phooey. We'll go with me daydreaming under a tree as a child. I come by this stuff honestly.

Happy Friday!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (slave to the muse)
Some of you may not know that while I pretty much abhor TV, I do watch some things via youtube as guilty pleasures and/or my decompression. My recent ones, post-BSG, have been Canada's Project Runway (I love the American version too) and Australia's Make Me A Supermodel. Two nights ago I dreamed I was in Make Me A Supermodel. Last night, no joke, I was in the model side of the competition for Canada's Project Runway, not wanting the other contestants to know I was 20 years older than they were (I don't believe in the dream that I had any body other than my own, which is certainly not model material and does reflect my age), but then I was hanging out with Iman. We were buddies. Which is hilarious, because I don't particularly like her on the show, in fact.

Oh, my crazy subconscious. I laugh at you.

Been quiet of late as I'm writing a lot, working a few more hours at work for the next two weeks as I step into my supervisor's spot while he's in Argentina. My R/D is at my betas (already received one back! Thanks [livejournal.com profile] wolfiekins!), I've started my weasley_fest one, made loads of editing progress on M+M over the weekend and am writing the last of one or two new scenes before tackling the epilogue, and have found myself writing another PWP vignette in [livejournal.com profile] maculategiraffe's Slave Breaker universe.

Let the Muse Reign! Hope you're all having a good week; I think this one will really fly since I have so much going on. But I'm never too busy to at least read what you all are up to. I have seen all of the DW stuff, and I'm just going to stay here. I do have an insane journal account but don't bother with it. LJ is fine.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Riverside [icon by me: art by minami_nek)
I think I've figured out that the real culprit to my aching backside and back are truly the result of the Ikea assemble-it-yourself rolling desk chair that I have. After spending 10 days with Jill & Yvonne, all of that stuff had gone away. It's back, and with a vengeance. I think I'll splurge and get a new chair once I move, and that date is now going to be the end of January/first of February. But I'm in my chair with an extra pillow now with the hope that I won't be so achey, because I have a lot to type, a couple of emails to write, and I'm IM'ing with my dear Callum. Yay for days off.

I stayed up until 4:45 a.m. reading that slave fic; ridiculous. Woke up at 8:36 due to the homeowner's cat scratching at my door but thought it was not on for me to get only 3 1/2 hours of sleep. So I did eventually get back to sleep and had an awful dream that I won't get into, and then woke up again at 10:45. What a lazy day! Complete with rain, too. I have coffee and a pop tart (I did have a banana and cereal first), my tofu is marinating in soy sauce to have later on today in stir-fry, and I have loads to write and read.

Yuletide reveals are up! Now I can go and see a bit more about the person who wrote for me. She wrote a Phillip Pullman His Dark Materials story for me as I mentioned in this entry. My story, "The Teethmarks of Time," can be found here at Yuletide, in case you'd like to see my first foray into HDM fandom! And you can leave a review there, if you're into HDM. No worries if you're not; I don't think I'll be writing anything else in that fandom, but it was a good experience. If you're a Swordspoint fan, my story for [livejournal.com profile] just_ann_now has been revealed at [livejournal.com profile] 3fan_holidays found here. Doubtless I'll upload it to [livejournal.com profile] _riverside and also my website... though I don't have a location for it! Yikes! I may need to make a page of just 'random' fics. Especially if I do ever actually write a Persian Boy story.
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Bedhead)
I dreamed I gave birth to a cat )

I have huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] risiepookie and the duo of [livejournal.com profile] wolfiekins and [livejournal.com profile] koshweasley for their packages which have brightened up my week. Risie, your cards are always works of art, and the kind words you included made me feel like a prized jewel. I'd written you a letter on Monday or Tuesday, so hopefully you'll get that soon. Wolfie and Kosh, thank you very much for the sage and other goodies. Your thank you note went out the next day. I'll get caught up with you guys this weekend.

In fic news, again in the shower, I found inspiration! I can tie together my TQP auction story for [livejournal.com profile] callumjames with the one for my [livejournal.com profile] weasley_fest recipient by changing pairings for the second one. They'd both be AU, and the pairings don't overlap, but they could complement each other, but without needing to read the other. I'm newly excited! :)

Happy Thursday, all!
thrihyrne: Portland, OR (Ashmael chibi by kaenguma)
My dreams had been a bit subdued of late, but not last night. Some of it is fuzzy now, but in my dream I'd listened to an entire book on tape and then, later on in the dream, had gone to a person's house where they were washing cars and got my car washed (though it was my first car, a red 1989 Audi 80 named Ouvrielle) and told the guy there about the person in the book on tape! Because the person in the book had gone to college nearby and the college had closed down in 1974 but this guy (with the car wash) had attended before it closed... :shakes head: My subconscious really is jam-packed.

I'll keep this somewhat to a minimum since most of you haven't read the Wraeththu series that I'm going to crazy with in this multi-novella gapfiller I'm writing, but I may write about some possible character motivation questions that could be seen as general. However, I've been writing this story and set the characters in their shadowy past at my alma mater, though it's off in a somewhat post-apocalyptic future, and it's from Ashmael's POV. I was looking at the second trilogy of books last night for descriptions of this City on a Hill, Immanion, back when it was still under construction, because I'm writing about Ashmael's first visit there. According to canon, he was pretty much there from the not quite get-go. But in my personal exploration of him as a character back in his first few years as a har (versus being human), I have him building a community from two small groups up on the Mountain at Sewanee. This is what I've been writing for weeks now, but I'm so excited because as I was leafing through the first book of trilogy #2, I see that another character describes Ashmael (and two others) like this: It was obvious to Seel that these were hara of high caliber, who had perhaps attempted projects similar to his own at Saltrock. (emphasis mine) So even though when I was first inhaling these books and had no eye to Ashmael at all, somehow I managed to do exactly what the author had envisioned! I'm just so excited about that.

Back to your regularly scheduled Thursdays. I'll probably be musing more on this this weekend as I'm really at a loss as to character motivations and may want to write out my thoughts even if no-one can really say anything about it in reply.

May 2016

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